Let go of that lass (COMPLETED)

Chapter 3: Saruman's Wifey

Name: Tul'Dur 

Display Name: Saruman's Wifey

Race: Troll

Location: Isengard

Favourite Weapon: Fists

Interests: Looking at Saruman's beautiful face <3 <3 <3 *Sigh* Senpai notice me...

Looking for: Saruman

Legolas stared at the screen. "Ok first of all, why is there a troll in Isengard? Second, is this a male or a female? I cannot tell."

"Saruman has pledged his allegiance to Sauron." said Thranduil. "He now commands armies of orcs and trolls, hence the troll's obsession with him. I suppose you could call her a "fangirl", and yes, this is a female."

Legolas: Hello :)

Saruman's Wifey: Heyy ;)

Legolas: I like your profile picture.

Saruman's Wifey: Aww thanks :D

Legolas: Do you want to meet up?

Saruman's Wifey: I don't think I can at the moment, I have to help with the building and stuff.

Legolas: That's a shame.

Thranduil nudged his son in the ribs. "Ask her when she's going to be free."

Legolas: When will you be free?

Saruman's Wifey: Probably never. Sorry, I just don't want to date someone who looks like a girl. No offence.

"Excuse me?!" snapped Thranduil. "Give that to me!"

"Ada it's fine, honestly. Looking like a girl isn't a bad thing, ada-"

Thranduil stole the laptop and began to tap a reply.

Legolas: EXCUSE YOU B*TCH WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? HOW DARE YOU CALL MY SON A GIRL!

Saruman's Wifey: Huh?

Legolas: HOW DARE YOU. YOU SHALL NEVER MARRY MY SON!

Saruman's Wifey: Weirdo.

{Saruman's Wifey has left the chat}

Legolas was unamused. "Thanks, dad. Thanks a lot."

"She was ugly, anyway. You should put a filter on the word "troll" so you don't get a match with one of them again."

 "I thought you wanted me to get over Tauriel."

Thranduil shrugged. "Well yes, but I don't want you being unhappy."

"I'm going to message her again. She seems nice for a troll."

Legolas: I'm so sorry, my father was writing those messages. 

"Oh!" he exclaimed. "She's replied."

Saruman's Wifey: If I ever see you in real life, I will kill you. And your father. You hurt my feelings, and I swear upon the almighty Sauron that I will bash your head to bits.

"Well," began Thranduil, patting his son on the back. "You tried. I'm going to make some bread."

"I still cannot stop thinking about Tauriel." said Legolas, ignoring his father. "Sometimes I wish I'd confessed my love sooner. Perhaps she would have felt the same way."

"Do not give yourself hope when there is none." said the elvenking. "I am sorry I did not support you sooner, but it was not meant to be."

Legolas frowned, tuning him out. "Wait, what's this...?"

New message from Mr Hotpants123!

The elven prince's eyes widened as Mr Hotpants123's profile came into view. "This... this is..."

Thranduil's eyebrows furrowed. "What troubles you, my son?"

Legolas turned around. "Mr Hotpants123 is Kili!"