Let go of that lass (COMPLETED)

Chapter 4: Mr Hotpants123

Name: Kili

Display Name: Mr Hotpants123

Race: Dwarf

Location: Hopefully Erebor (soon)

Favourite Weapon(s): Bow and arrows, sword

Interests: Arkenstone, weapons, gold

Looking for: A pretty lady

"It's the dwarf!" Legolas cried, "The dwarf Tauriel eloped with! Why is he on this website? Surely he's satisfied with her?"

He opened up the message Kili had sent him.

Mr Hotpants123: Hey pretty lady ;)

"He lied!" exclaimed the elven prince. "He means to cheat on her!"

"Perhaps you are mistaken." said Thranduil. "Perhaps this isn't the dwarf you suspect."

Legolas pointed to the screen. "Look at his profile picture, ada. It's him and Thorin."

The elvenking tried to comfort his son. "It isn't your fault. Tauriel chose him. This is her mistake."

"I'm going to give him a piece of my mind." said Legolas.

Legolas: I'm Legolas, Tauriel's best friend and possible love interest. If I find out you are cheating on her, I will come for you.

Mr Hotpants123: Sorry man, I thought you were a woman.

Legolas: Where are you at the moment?

Mr Hotpants123: Well we left several members of the dwarf company behind, but we're on our way to the mountain to reclaim our homeland and face Smaug the dragon. We're currently sleeping in a cave.

Legolas: Why are you not with Tauriel? And why are you telling me all of this anyway...?

Mr Hotpants123: I do not know why I was attracted to you in the first place actually. You don't even have a beard.

Legolas: Where is Tauriel?

Mr Hotpants123: Omfg wait you're the elven prince we met in Mirkwood! I'm blocking you.

Legolas: Stop avoiding my question!

{Mr Hotpants123 has blocked you}

Legolas threw the laptop to the floor. "Rhachon le! (Curses!) Gwaem, ada. (Come, father)"

"Mas thelich baded? (Where are we going?)" asked Thranduil, picking up his bread and following his son out of the palace.

Legolas withdrew his blade. "To find the dwarf scum."

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Thorin closed the tab and shut the laptop. "He can go ishkh khakfe andu null."

Balin rolled his eyes. "Thorin, you say that to every single elf we meet. Why not try being a little more mature about things?"

He glared at the tiny santa lookalike. "This is none of your business, my friend." He turned to the rest of the company. "Where is Kili?"

Dwalin stepped forward. "He ran away with the she-elf. We will not be seeing him again. He has betrayed us."

Thorin cursed under his breath. "No wonder why he let me use his old dating account..."

Bofur spoke up. "What are we going to do now, then?"

The dwarf prince turned to gaze at the night sky. "We will continue our quest without him."