Broken

Chapter 26 - rewritten

Today is Sunday we are flying back to Italy today; the past 3 days have been spent with Andre in a bliss. Barely speaking to the boys has been frustrating but hopefully everything gets better when we go back to Sicily. I think I have missed Lucifer the most. Lucas spoke to me a bit but mainly watched from a distance. Giovanni, Michael and Mario haven't spoke to me once in the past 3 days and it is making me slightly agitated. I miss them, being in the same house as all of them but having them try to avoid me specifically was painful.

I go back to school tomorrow as well; Andre will be starting a week after me unfortunately. When we get to the house I open my bedroom door, I walk in and go to sit on my bed. Standing in front of my grey sheets, I look down at the sheets and scenes flash through my mind. Antonio. What he did to me? How powerless I felt? I take a deep shaky breath before giving myself a pep talk. I don't care... I don't care... I don't care... I chant to myself over and over in my head.

''Right. You're a strong independent woman, you have done so much in your life. And been through a lot, so much trauma. But no one can hurt you now, your big brothers and Andre will protect you. Not that you even need to be protected. Your powerful and lethal, people cower at your name. So why did I let him hurt me like that?'' I whisper as I ask myself that last question. A few tears escape my eyes and I sigh turning around, I perch myself on my window seat and roll myself a joint. I light the joint and inhale deeply, leaning my head on the wall and putting my feet up. The feeling of smoke entering my lungs is delightful as I let my eyes hover over the spot on my bed that holds such unnerving emotion. Then I hear the familiar shouts of my name. With joint in hand, I walk out of my room down the long pristine hall way and down the stairs. I walk into the dining room and lean on the door frame as I watch my brothers smile and chatter dishing themselves food; It's good seeing them like this. So happy. So carefree. So unfazed and childlike. A smile spreads across my face as I look across the long table.

I quickly put my lit joint out with my fingers and put it in my pocket. I walk over to my place at the corner end next to Lucifer and Ace. Everyone stops and looks at me, I smile and the boys smile back.

''Were you crying sorrelina?'' I turn and face Ace who has a worried smile placed on his lips.

''No?'' I answer but it comes out more as a question. Making me mentally curse myself.

''Do you want to swap your room with one of the spare ones?'' Ace asks caution clear in every word.

''No.'' I practically whisper. I clear my throat and try again, ''No thank you'' my voice is a little louder this time and look down to my empty plate.

'Well let me or Edward know if you change your mind.'' I look at him and give a quick curt nod before loading up my plate with beef pie and vegetables. I stayed quiet and ate my meal, whilst the boys chattered amongst themselves.

My shoulders are shaken, pulling me out of my quiet trance. I look up to see everyone staring at me. ''What?'' I question confused and slightly annoyed.

''Ace was talking to you?'' Lucifer whispers to me.

''Sorry, what did you say Ace?'' I tilt my head and look over at him.

''I was asking if you were ready for school. But clearly your high and incompetent as always.'' He growls out. I chuckle and put my elbows on the table and use one of my hands to hold my head up. I feel calm and light headed almost floaty in a way.

''I am ready for school, when I get my phone and laptop back.'' I mumble leaning back in my chair.

''Why so you can over work yourself and get angry only to end up drinking?'' He starts shouting at me. I jump slightly taken back and my eyes bulge before going back to normal.