Yandere! TRUMPxBIDEN : True Colors

Chapter One

Biden's hand dragged down my leg, and a little bit of sweat fell down my forehead.

"Oh, China!" Screaming in pleasure, my tongue flickered as Joe's eyes locked onto mine. I've been dreaming about this moment ever since the debate, my sleepy Joe.

"Joe, please, I must be... presidential." I could feel my nether regions pulsating.

Joe opened his wrinkly lips, "Oh, my little peanut, there will be no need for you to be presidential once I'm done with this 'election.' "

"Joe?"

"Look, here's the deal." a door creaked open, revealing the burning of millions of paper ballots.

"This is my country, and no one is going to get in the way of my taking it. I'm gonna step on you like the orange roach that is you, Donald. The Election of 2020 is mine."

"Th- those are Trump ballots. Those are my ballots, Joe!"

"Wh- why? This is my country! I am the greatest president there ever was or will be." In looking back through the door, I saw her. Kamala wheelbarrowed the ballots into the fire, wearing a full-on witch costume.

As she poured the ballots into the flames, she belted out a screechy witch laugh, "Ahahahahahaha!"

"Waaaaah!" I woke up, my bed soaking wet, or... maybe I had a wet dream. The cactus decorated digital clock read 2:27pm. Mother fucker, I'm gonna be late for my "fake" news conference. The Secret Serviceman was watching me sleep, guarding my door.

"Sounds like you had a fun night." The guard cackled.

My face mocked him, "You're fired!" I reached over to find that my bottle of Adderall was empty; it had been since 2015. The doctors have been on my ass about getting my Adderal refilled at my local pharmacy, but uh, I don't think science knows, actually.

I remember when I was a tiny boy. No, actually I was quite large for my age. I came out of the womb a nice 37 pounds and 3 inches. Such a beautiful baby I was. I was the greatest baby in the world. I remember the doctor saying that when I came out of my mother's vagina, of which I made sure to grab mommy by 'er pussy. That's how I treat all of my women. Uh, yeh, that's................................... Where was I?

"Hey, What're you doing over there! You let me get way off track!"

"You fired me, sir..." I can't believe what he just said to me!

"What, that's fake news. The fake media is putting these insane ideas into your head, Chris." That'll put 'im straight.

"Tha-that's not my na-"

"Ah, nope. Be quiet! Shut up." This idiot doesn't know what he's talking about.

Spoken in mildly sped-up dialog I said, "We need to get to that press conference. The mean, mean weather is being very cold today, so I need you to start the car while I go check-up on the wife." Melo- Melanie- Melania... I'm too stressed because of this whole China virus thing that is very clearly a hoax. She sleeps in another bed, at her own request. I walk down the hallway in my tighty whities to Marla- Melania's room past all of the presidential portraits, which I painted.

"What the fuck do you want, orange pickle?!" She likes to joke around like that, "Your taxes came in the mail this morning. Do you plan to pay them?"

"Taxes? What taxes?! Get in the car, or you'll end up like the rest of my wives.

"Hmf, I'm sorry I said that. Pickles are too good; too sexy for you, Donald."

"Let's head down to the coffee shop," I rolled my eyes as I entered the vehicle. What a jokester.

End Chapter