Just A Little Bad

Chapter 14

A/N:Quick note before this starts, this isn't edited okay enjoy!

Today is the day. Tessa died one year ago today. Of all of the days of the week it had to be a Monday. Mom is forcing Luke and I to go to school which I think is complete bullshit considering we aren't right in the head today.

Of course Blake is just carrying on with his life, pretending nothing bad happened a year ago on this day.

Back in New York we didn't hang out as much as we do here so, naturally Luke and I made friends with the same people while Blake was off trying to join the "populars".

Tessa became my best friend aside from Kane who I have known since kindergarten. Soon her and Luke started dating a year before the incident. They dated for 1 year and 2 months and then she died. It's all my fault.

I put on some black skinny jeans with a black tank to with the words 'you complete mess' of the front. How ironic this is.

I told Luke to walk to school with me because I know we'd zone out while driving which isn't safe.

"It's not your fault you know," Luke said randomly.

"What?"

"Tessa dying isn't your fault, it's that jackass who tried to kill you, and then killed her."

"If she didn't try to save me she w-"

He stopped walking and grabbed my shoulders.

"Stop Beau, please stop blaming yourself. Seeing you beat yourself up because of this for the past year has been absolute shit."

I blink my eyes trying to get rid of the tears that we're building up. I can't cry. I can't.

I bite my lip as a single tear falls followed by the whole fucking Pacific Ocean.

"I-I just w-want her back," I cried into Luke's shirt.

" I know Bea me to, me to."

-lunch time
I sat at the table staring at my food. Luke did the same.

"Woah, who died?" Lexi said jokingly. If only she knew.

Seeing as we did nothing and didn't even acknowledge her existence, her smile dropped.

"Guys, are you okay?"

"Just ignore them, it's the 1 year anniversary of their friends death and their still not over it," Blake said walking towards the table.

Luke stood up so fast the chair fell over. He walked toward Blake and grabbed the collar of his shirt shoving him into a wall.

"Blake, I swear if you ever, ever say anything like that to me or Beau again I will not hesitate to smash you skull in. Don't walk around like you don't know what happened and don't know how much it hurts me and Beau. So get your head out of your ass and show the slightest bit of sympathy for your siblings instead of-"

"Shut the hell up, you guys need to get over it, it's been a ye-"

That was all it took for Luke to snap and punch Blake and continue to punch him. As much as Blake deserves what he's getting he's still my brother. I can't let him get seriously injured especially by his own brother.

"Alex help me get him off of Blake," I yelled walking towards the fight.

"Luke, stop. This will only cause more problems. Please Luke," I said trying to get him off.

We finally got him off and he was totally out of it. He just shove Alex and I off and walked out of the cafeteria.

"Alex go after him make sure he doesn't do anything stupid, please," I said not in the mood to be the center of attention today.

"Anything for you Beau," he replied, running after Luke.

I start laughing, not because this is funny but because of how fucked up this situation is. My own brother.

Blake stood up wiping the blood from his face.

"Beau, thank you I'm pretty sure he was going to k-"

"Don't. Don't try to pretend what just happened was Luke's fault it's all you. I simply just showed you sympathy because I care about you, Blake. No, matter how much you fuck up I will care about you. I guess you don't have that ability." I turned around to grab my things when he spoke.

"You too? God just fucking get over it."

I snapped just like Luke did minutes ago. I stormed over to him and slapped him. I would have done more if someone didn't pull me away from Blake.

"Get the fuck off me," I yelled. Whoever pulled me away was holding my arms with my back against their chest.

"Beau clam down, please."

Roman. Always Roman.

"Let me go you fucking twat," I yelled pulling his arms off me. I stormed over so I was right in front of Blake.

"You don't understand,once someone dies you can't do anything. You can't bring them back. Their dead and 6 feet underground and there is nothing you can do about it! You didn't know her like Luke and I! So don't just- just sit there and tell me to forget her and to get over it! She was my best friend of years Blake! Years! And, she died because of me! It's my fault we were at the club that night . It's my fault I drank away my feelings. It's my fault that guy was going to kill me! It's my fault she stood up for me and got shot and it's my fault she is 6 feet under in a casket! She is dead and there is nothing I can do to bring her back! So, tell me to be fucking happy with my life and happy that I'm alive because, my life came with a price and that was my best friend's life! It is my fault so don't sit there and tell me to get over it!" By this time I was crying. Apparently when I said I never cry, I lied.

"Beau I'm s-" Blake started but, I was already storming out the cafeteria.

"Look I haven't known you long but, you fucked up man," I heard Roman say faintly in the distance.

I made it to the field before I could hold myself together anymore. I collapsed on the ground bringing my knees up to my chest, bawling hysterically.

After a few minutes I heard my name being called by Roman. I looked up and his face was twisted into a look of sympathy. He sat down and pulled me onto his lap as I cried into his shirt.

"Shhhh Beau, it's okay, shhhhhh."
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A/N: whoop there it is.
Yeah so this happened.
Part 2 will be out soon. So yeah. That was deep.
I'm gonna go now.

*slowly walks away*
~SACIA