Unpack Your Heart (A Markiplier Fanfic)

What's Your Next Step?

3 months later

"Wake up!"

*wack*

"Oh, what the fuck!?" I cry out pulling the covers over my head in attempt to protect my face from being smacked once again.

"Wake up bitch!"

-umph

I'm instantly smothered under something, rather, someone and if I knew that voice, and I did, it was my baby sister. Realization hit me like a tone of bricks, instantly pulling the covers back down only to be greater by her toothy grin.

"Oh my fucking God!" I cried, tears brimming quickly as we enveloped each other in a bone crushing embrace.

"What are you doing here Emmy?" I managed to blurt out through my soft crys , not really wanting to let her go. It had been half a year since I'd seen her.

"Nice to see you too jerk." She joked, pushing me back gently to give me a good look over and I was able to do the same. Motherhood looked great on her, having just had a baby four months ago. Me on the other hand, probably looked like battered shit and I had to look away in shame.

"Oh Lily, I'm so sorry I couldn't make it to the funeral what with just having the baby..." I shook my head.

"It's ok, really, I understand. I'm just so happy your here." I confessed, swatting at the drying tears on my cheeks and put on a small smile. She returned my smile and sighed.

" I took all the extra hours I could at the hospital so I could score a good weekend and here I am." Emmy explained, sitting back against the bed frame taking a look around at the mess I had created. Not long after the funeral I decided to move in with my parents until I could figure out what to do with myself and in result, I hadn't really left the bedroom. Boxes of graham crackers and granola bars lay strewn across the floor. On ever surface there was a water bottle or yogurt container and I don't think I had one clean article of clothing.

"If I knew you were coming I might have picked up or at leasted brushed my hair." I huffed looking at the split ends growing out.

Emmy laughed and tried to smooth the top out a bit, failing of course, it had a life force of its own by now.

"Have you actually been eating?"She questioned seeing my collar bone sticking out from underneath my oversized Led Zeppelin tshirt in a very unhealthy way. I pulled the shirt closer in attempt to hide how skinny I had become not only to her but to myself. I could hear her inner nurse kicking in as she got up and began throwing my clothes into a pile .

"Don't clean, moms tried three times today." I groaned wrapping the blanket around myself staring at my unpainted toes. I use to care about things like that, now I was lucky if I remembered to brush my teeth. Sighing, my sister set the clothes she had in her hand on the cardboard box sitting by the desk.

"Dont!" I warned franticly, getting up and throwing the clothes aside.

"Lily..."she started, concerned as she read "DONT FUCKING OPEN" in crud black marker over layers of duck tape.

"What...what's in there?" She asked carefully, placing a hand on my frail shoulder as I let out a tired breath.

"Things I can't look at right now." I answered going to sit back on the bed. She followed, sitting beside me.

"His things?" She finished knowingly and wrapped a hand around my shoulder once again, pulling me in.

"Her things too, all of them, I don't want to lose there things but I just can't look at it." I confessed, feeling bile rise in my stomach at the mention of the things I had lost.

"That's ok,"Emmy started, looking down at me, when you can, you will but until then," she continued, getting down in front of me so I could look at her, " do you really think this is what He'd want for you?" She asked motioning to the room as well as my current state. In truth, I had asked that very question many times to myself but could never come up with an answer.

"He loved you more then me or mom or even you might ever be able to understand. Look at what your doing to yourself. Look around you. Is this how He'd want you to be living?"

"No." I stated, knowing that my late husband would want me to be out, do somthing, anything other then what I've actually been filling my time with which was nothing . As if she could read my mind, my sister stood up and looked at the small flat screen tv. "This is what you've been doing haven't you ? " I looked away, I was caught.

"Not exactly..." I lied seeing her turn the TV on, the Playstation still on my YouTube account. " Gamegrumps, really Jenny?"

"Hey I watch Markiplier too and I'm well on my way to achieving full lip sync of ever Supernatural episode." I defended like that was some great award. I wouldn't let her know that Gamegrumps and Markiplier even Mortimer had been keeping me somewhat sane, my husband had introduced me to them after all. Emmy came back to sit with me.

"You need to start living Lily, this isn't healthy, your so skinny, paler then usual, your roots are so long..."

"I don't know where to start." I said softly looking at her. She placed a hand on my chest, over my heart.

"Here, start right here. You feel that?" She asked placing own small hand over my heart so I could feel it beat and I began to tear up once again. I nodded, not really able to speak.

" Your still here, we haven't lost you sweety, start by find yourself, find time to heal, to figure out where you go from here."

"But I don't know where to go without Him." I cried holding my face as tears broke free. She brought me to her, cradling me to her chest.

"I know it's scary but small steps first, the place you may need to go to right now is the shower cause girl you smell." She joked causing me to laugh. "See," she said, pulling me up to whip a few tears away, "that's a start ."