Why do I want to get good marks and be at the top of the class?
That's actuallt a really good question. I feel like I wanna be more than just the gay guy of my class, or maybe not to be known only for that. I'm tired of people saying: "Look he's faget" or things like that, but the thing that really upsets me a lot, is when the people that I thought to be my friends to that. I'm saying this because when I first told them they answerd to me: "That's ok it's not a problem for me" , and then they do this . They don't even bother saying that quietly and away from me, so that i can't hear them, they do this right in front of me, without even bothering of hurting my feelings. How am I suppose to feel like? People is really f*cked up. Don't worry I took my revege. Many people underestimate me, and I've proved them to not do that . They first may think I'm dumb or something like that, but I'm not. I'm just polite, a quality that I see less and less every day.
Talking about school, for me is important to take good marks, beacuse it makes me feel complished.
I wanna do so many things, but I don't have the time, or even just feel too lazy to do them. I feel like there are days were I feel so unmotivated to study, but at the same time there are days were I feel really productive and I do as many homework as I can. There's only a little problem: if I work as much as I can in these days, I won't do anythng in the upcoming days because I got to tired the day before. Y'all know what I'm talking abut?
These days I felt really unproductive, maybe is because of that bad mark I got at physic and math but idk. Maybe is the result of all the pressure combined to school.
I feel so strange in my own body, with my own mind, attitude, and with everything I do , I don't feel happy , I just feel sad. Maybe writing all this stuff will help me but I'm not sure. These are my feelings in the bad days, and the thing that scares me is that are becoming more frequent.
There are so many things I would like to talk about but maybe I would just bother you , and that's not my pourpouse.
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Hi! My name is Michele and I'm 15.
I live in Italy so I want to apologize if you find some mistakes while reading. Correct me if you want, so I can learn from my mistakes!
Hope you'll keep reading while I post all my thoughts.
Bye🦋🍂🍁
