Alone Together • JJ Maybank

Thirty Two.

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- JJ's POV -

I looked up at the sound of the porch door opening and closing again, seeing the familiar head of blonde hair leaving the Chateau. With a deep sigh, I stood up, walking back into the kitchen where John B still was.

"Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on with you and Abby? You've been off with her all day, man." I rolled my eyes at his question as I leant against the kitchen cupboards.

"There's nothing to tell." I took a large sip of water from the bottle I was holding, trying to hide my discomfort and avoiding his stare. He knew I was lying, but I honestly had no idea what to say.

I wasn't one to share my feelings often. Hell, I wasn't exactly one to even have feelings in the first place. My life problems up until recently included avoiding school, avoiding home, working as little as possible to get money to buy weed and beer, and having a good time with my friends. This summer was supposed to be carefree and epic, and in some ways it already was. But it was also confusing as fuck.

Somehow it had only been four weeks since Abby had moved in next door to the Chateau. At first I just thought she was some hot girl that John B was friends with as a kid, and I have no idea when that changed for me. But it had. Somewhere between us taking her out on the HMS Pogue for the first time where I tried to show off with my beer trick to cheer her up, to her being a badass and kneeing Rafe Cameron in the nuts just to get him to stop beating me, things changed.

In some ways Abby and I were so similar. Like the way she would joke and smile along with all of us, but when she thought no one was looking, the glimmer in her eyes would fade and a sadness would creep through. She was good at hiding it, a little too good. But I saw. Maybe because I did the same thing.

She would disguise her discomfort and sadness with a carefree confidence, mocking John B at any opportunity, encouraging Kie to gang up on us and flirting with Heyward just to tease Pope. She even gave me a run for my money in the beginning, reacting with my flirting with a wit that I didn't know how to take. Most girls around here would either fall for my minimal efforts, like the easy tourons, or other girls would shut me down instantly, like Kiara. But not Abby. She teased back in a way that made me question everything I thought I knew.

But it was a calmness about Abby that intrigued me the most. With just the smallest of looks or gentlest of touches, she could calm my mood almost instantly. Like if she was ok and calm, then I knew everything would be fine too. Like nothing else mattered. So when I started noticing those little touches and looks more and more, I couldn't believe my luck. This totally cool chick who was smart and funny and beautiful wanted me?

But why? I had nothing to offer. I was busy getting into fights and getting arrested. I slept on my best friends couch most nights, and jumped at the chance of free leftovers from the Wreck. I guess you could say my dad knocked some sense into me yesterday. Reminding me that I was never going to leave the Cut. This life. But Abby was already far too good for it.

That's when I decided I would try to distance myself so I didn't drag her down with me. Not much had actually happened between us, if you really think about it. A few times holding hands, a few cuddles and only one kiss. It wasn't much, so why did it feel like so much more? And why was it so hard to keep away from her?

Trying my best to keep a distance is when I started noticing the little moments that she shared with John B. And even Pope. At first I thought it was just them being friends, but the more I observed, the more it played on my mind. The little looks Abby and Pope would share, as if they had some private inside jokes that only they shared. Or the way she kicked off about Sarah being in on the gold hunt. Was she jealous? Maybe our moments were all in my head any way. Maybe we didn't have the connection I thought we did, because she had them with everyone.