The Pretenders (ON HOLD)

Chapter 22

The trees outside swayed, teasingly. It’s a weird way to describe the movement of trees; teasingly. But they had been doing it for hours and Simon wished they would just stay still. He was in one of those moods. You know, that mood where even the slightest thing can seem annoying. The worst things were the ones that made repetitive sounds or movements. That’s why the trees outside were setting him on edge. They just never stopped; back and forth, back and forth.

All he wanted to do was get out of bed and shut the blinds, but he couldn’t get out of bed. He couldn’t do anything. That was the most frustrating part; being stuck in bed all day. It’s natural for young boys to want to run around and play all the time so it could only be expected that Simon had been itching for a change of atmosphere.

“How are you feeling Simon?” his mother hollered up from downstairs in the kitchen. She was making him a creamy pumpkin soup. In fact she hadn’t stopped doing things for him the whole two days he’d been home from the hospital. That had started to annoy him too.

“I’m fine, Mum. Really. You don’t have to keep asking every five minutes,” he assured her, trying not to let any irritation creep into his voice.

Closing his eyes and exhaling deeply, he tried to block out all the sounds and swaying trees and worried mothers. He went to that quiet place in his head where everything was a bit sad and lonely. But at least it was quiet. He felt himself slipping away, like he did after what happened back in England. He winced, remembering those last few weeks. Those weeks were when he first found his quiet place. He went there a lot and it made his parents worry about him. Things got better for a while when they moved here. But then they got worse. Much worse.

But still, never bad enough to compare with how he felt in England. What happened there was just too painful to remember, so he never tried. Sometimes he tried to forget it entirely and all that he could remember of it was that it was terrible and nothing else. But some things are just too traumatic to forget completely. So even though the sadness was mostly gone, it was still there in the background.

When Simon went away in his mind for a bit, things stopped seeming real. It was like he was looking at himself from somewhere far away, not seeing any fine details but kind of getting the general picture.

He closed his eyes and drifted away. Things got quiet and distant. But that was what he needed right now. He didn’t want to think about the trees or his fractured ribs or the merciless looks on those boys’ faces as the pounded him time after time. He didn’t even really want to think at all.

When he opened his eyes, the room looked different. The shadows were longer. Glancing outside, he saw the sun lower in the sky than he remembered. How long had he been lying there?

He vaguely felt someone poking his leg through the light quilt. Looking up, feeling a little lost, he saw Kai staring at him with worried eyes.

“S-s-si-si-” Kai stuttered before being cut of by Simon.

“What?” Simon asked, his voice distant. Kai kept opening his mouth to say something but all that came out were stammers and sputters. Simon was still in that mood, so Kai was stating to get on his nerves.

“Is Wendy home?” Simon asked, going for a yes or no answer. Kai shook his head. Simon felt his face fall a little. He was hoping Wendy could help him. Talk to him and stop him from slipping away again. It was different with her. She didn’t need a quiet place because she was one of those people who wasn’t afraid to talk about their problems. But Simon didn’t talk. When people asked him if everything was ok, he nodded or lied. It had become an automatic response.

Simon only felt sad when he was alone so he needed Wendy to come home soon because he was feeling terrible.

“Go tell Mum to call Wendy and make her come home,” Simon ordered Kai. He knew his mum would do whatever he wanted, she was still fussing over him. His brother looked at him uncertainly and Simon guessed that Kai thought he wouldn’t be able to say all those words to his mum. That’s how bad his stutter was getting.