Hope World

We Love You Jinki (SHINee)

It was the things he didn't see that hurt him the most. The extra step at the end of the hallway, the doorstop in the middle of the room, Jonghyun's shirt on the floor, or the knife that Kibum forgot to clean laying at the side of the sink (that one had hurt a lot), or other things like that. Minho said that sometimes Jinki even tripped over thin air.

"I'm alright." Jinki giggled, trying to reassure the others when he fell down the stairs for the second time that week.

Taemin's eyes widened. "Are you sure? Did you get hurt anywhere?"

"Yeah. I don't want to get hurt again."

"You know..." Kibum started. "To stop getting hurt so much, just stop falling."

"That's kind of obvious Kibum," Jinki said. He picked himself up from the floor, going to stand near the railing.

"Yeah, you just need to pay attention to the world around you." Kibum straightened himself up, shot him a look, and left.

"There is a whole world out there for you, why don't you actually live in it for once?" Jonghyun said. He rolled his eyes playfully. Taemin started to laugh, Jonghyun joining in.

Taemin patted the second eldest on his back, and then they left too, following Kibum to wherever he had gone to.

Jinki watched them go. He would be lying if he said a twinge of sadness didn't go through him. Was something going on that he couldn't see?

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It wasn't exactly exclusion, but Jinki didn't have a way to describe it other than that. The others weren't avoiding him, but he was always the second choice. Or maybe the fifth choice. Taemin used to come to him for advice. Now he talked to Minho. Jonghyun used to talk about music and singing to him, now he talked to Kibum. It was like he wasn't needed.

Jinki tried his best to figure out what was going on. He wondered if he had done something to upset them. There weren't any disagreements recently. He hadn't done anything embarrassing, other than falling off the stairs that one day. Was he doing something wrong? He tried his best to reevaluate his singing, his dancing, his looks and the way he acted in general. The other members didn't say anything or point anything out, but he got the idea that maybe they wanted something to change with him.

So he tried. He tried his best to be a bit quieter, make less mistakes, and especially, be less clumsy. He tried not to fall. He tried to be more professional. Jinki was trying his best. He hoped the others noticed.

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They noticed quite quickly. Jinki was different, all his lovable quirky traits being reduced to the dry mannerisms of a professional man. They started wondering about it in private, until the day that Minho finally brought it up. Jinki had a musical to prepare for and he wasn't with them in the dorms.

"Jinki hyung is kind of weird now, don't you think?" Minho asked.

Taemin shrugged. "I've noticed that yeah. Quieter now."

"You think he's alright?" Kibum asked.

"Hopefully," Minho said. "Has anything major happened?"

Jonghyun shook his head. "Not that I know of."

Kibum sighed, putting his phone down. "To be completely honest, I don't know what's going on with him, but I think we should make more of an effort to really appreciate him."

"I do appreciate him," Taemin said. "I appreciate all of you."

"You stole my clothes Taemin."

"That was an act of appreciation."

Kibum rolled his eyes.

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"You seem... different now," Jonghyun said.

"Huh?"

"You are different. I can't explain how, but you are," he continued.

"Oh." Jinki shook his head, giggling lightly. "No, I'm fine."

Jonghyun didn't give up. "There is something wrong with you."

"What?"

"Yeah."

"Are you having issues with me?"

Jonghyun frowned. Jinki never usually talked like that. There was a hurt look on his face and it was such a tragic sight for him that he nearly teared up. Why was Jinki so sad?

"No, hyung, you're not understanding. I'm trying to ask if anything is wrong with you. Like-"

"Everything is absolutely fine," Jinki snapped. A rare expression of annoyance spread onto his face, Jonghyun immediately backing up. This was weird. Jinki was usually the calm and rational one, splitting up all their arguments and having a reasonable head on his shoulders. Jonghyun grabbed onto Jinki's shoulders as the eldest tried to speed away to his room.

"We were wondering if you wanted to spend some time with us?"

"I have work to do."

"What work?"

"I need to finalize our schedules for the next month."

"You can do that later, the next month isn't coming up anytime soon."

Jinki shook his head, his lips pursing. "Things need to be booked and I need to look over them. I'm sorry."

"Please, hyung. You're so weird now."

Jonghyun had never seen that shell-shocked of an expression on Jinki's face before. His mouth was parted and his eyes were wide, with a slight outline of pain. He stared at Jonghyun for a few seconds, before lowering his gaze and nodding slowly. Jinki sniffed. He was crying?

"I-I know that... you don't need to tell me that."

"I just want you to hang out with us and be yourself again. Please, hyung?"

"I told you, I-" Jinki stopped his sentence, suddenly aware of his emotions. He tried to start talking again, but he suddenly burst into tears. Jonghyun caught him. He wrapped his arms around Jinki's shoulders. The younger singer was somewhat shorter than him, so he stood up on his tippy-toes. The eldest sniffled and wept quietly.

"You take so long Jonghyu-" Kibum started as he walked into the foyer. His eyes widened when he saw the sight in front of him. "What's going on? Jinki hyung, are you seriously alright?"

Jinki didn't answer. His muffled cries were absorbed by Jonghyun's sweater. He stayed on his feet even though he felt fragile. Jonghyun kept him steady.

"We're going to spend the rest of the evening altogether. Come on Jinki hyung," Kibum said. "We're going to comfort you."

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this took me nearly two months lmao

1030 words