Welcome to the house from hell

Who are you?

Darkiplier had to admit that being able to create pocket dimensions at will had it's perks, he could travel great distances quickly, he could store things easily, he could hide away from the commotion of the world if need be.
However building a house in one to live in permanently, the thought alone gave him a headache.
Mark had insisted it was better for all of them to live together, less running around when they were needed, less random people asking questions they couldn't answer, less sleeping in the basement. Frankly it wasn't that idiotic, Dark wasn't about to tell Mark that though.
Eventually he caved and what is now know as the Iplier household was born. As time went on more rooms were added to account for the ever growing number of egos Mark created, each needing their own space to live and grow, and occasionally hide a body or two. As of now they had forty odd bedrooms spanning three stories, as well as the kitchens, bathrooms, dining rooms, sitting areas, and broom closests scattered around. Even though there was only sixteen to twenty two of them, it paid to be prepared when it came to Mark, who often dropped a new ego on them without warning.
This was one such time, as Dark found himself wandering into the ground floor kitchen at one in the morning. A figure stood in front of the large floor to ceiling window in the dining-kitchen that spanned almost half the floor, staring silently into the night sky that Dark had spent painstakingly long perfecting. For a moment Dark watched, the figure seemed peaceful, contemplative, warming their hands on a steaming mug.
Seeming to sense another presence the figure turned their head, white voids in place of eyes stared at Dark.
"Hello," he spoke very calmly, "I am Annus, would you like some coffee?"

-

The house woke slowly as it did most mornings. Google activated as the sun rose over the horizon, detaching itself from it's charging dock and puttering around it's room until six thirty when it was deemed appropriate for it to begin working in the common area. Usually the first to leave it's room and one of the few living on the bottom floor, Google was often the first one in the kitchen and in such the maker of breakfast. So when it noticed two suited beings sitting at the dining table, two empty coffee mugs between them, it had to do a double take.
"Good morning Darkiplier," Google greeted as it knew to be customary, "you are awake early in comparison with your usual sleep schedule."
"Good morning Google," Dark nodded in acknowledgement, "are you installing a new update by any chance?"
"Preparing to install," it answered, turning it's attention to the unknown person it performed a scan.
"Scan complete, good morning Annus and welcome to the Iplier house."
Annus smiled warmly and Dark was once again struck by how calm the new ego appeared, perhaps Mark was beginning to finally mature.
"Thank you Google."
Voices carried down the staircase as Yancy and Bim Trimmer made their appearances, soon followed by the two doctors and captain Magnum humming a sea shanty.
Google passed the first four a coffee each and the captain an orange, which he instantly bit into.
Bim squinted at the table as he took lazy sips, "hey Dark why is there two of you?"
Annus laughed lightly, pressing their fingers together in a strange gesture, "I am Annus, it is a pleasure to meet you all."
Doctor Iplier walked over to rest a hand on the new ego's shoulder, "I'm sorry to tell you but you're dying."
Dark sighed heavily as Yancy chuckled into his coffee.
"Oh I am well aware," Annus smiled.
A cacophany of spluttering and coughing filled the kitchen as the three choked on their coffee and orange respectively.
"We are all dying after all," Annus continued, "however my life is on a timer, one that is much shorter than is to be expected for all of you."
"Finally!" Doctor Iplier shouted, vigorously shaking Annus' hand, "somebody gets it!"
"Well I'm glad that somebody understands you," Illinois chuckled, swiping Doctor Plier's coffee, "cause I sure don't."
Doctor Plier rolled his eyes, accepting the new mug offered by Google.
Ed Edgar and Yandereplier peeked their heads down the stairs, "is that a new guy?" they ask in tandem.
Yan-chan scrambled down, smoothing her skirt in an attempt to look presentable, which was rather ruined by the dried blood still matted in her hair, "you look like Dark Sensei."
"I have been made aware of this," Annus nodded, "but thank you."
"Never fear!" A shout suddenly came from above them, quickly followed by a thump and a black and white blur tumbling down the stairs.
A camera was suddenly thrust into the mess of groaning limbs at the base of the stairs, "what do you make of this Jim?"
"Well I can't be quite sure Jim," another Jim appeared in the living room holding a microphone, "but it looks to be a pile of wasted potential."
"Ah that would explain the smell then," another Jim added from where he was seated on the kitchen counter.
"You guys are so mean," came the Silver Shepard's muffled voice.
"That's what you get for walking them up early Doctor Plier hummed.
Yan-chan giggled, sipping on his milk as the four, no five, new additions lined up for their coffees.
"Can you bros keep it down? Dudes are trying to sleep here."
A very drowsy Bing shuffled his way across the floor, rubbing at his eyes.
"You are an android," Google muttered, fixing said android with a glare, "you don't sleep."
"Then explain why I'm so damn tired," he whined flopping over the counter.
The same camera, now with a cup of coffee balance precariously on top, was shoved towards Annus, "and who might you be?"
"Well Jim," one of the Jims interrupted before Annus could open their mouth, "it appears the multicolored man has performed binary fission and created a clone of himself as a first step in raising his army to overtake the world."
The other Jims nodded their approval before taking off to another place in the house.
"I can never tell if they're absolute geniuses or complete idiots," Dark sighed, watching the last of the Jims disappear.
"Why not both?" Annus smiled fondly.
"They'll be back when breakfast is served," Google busied itself pulling food from cupboards.
"Did somebody say breakfast?" The door to the garden slammed open to reveal a man covered in sticks and leaves, and wearing nothing but a long red cape and crown.
Noticing the new face he split into a grin, "I'm King of the squirrels."
Annus nodded, "I can see that, I am Annus."
Dark put his head in his hands, "how you manage to get out of your top floor window and into the yard every morning without hurting yourself is beyond me."
"It's because I'm King of the squirrels," King's laughter was cut off as he was hit with a jar of peanut butter.
"Don't feed it all to the squirrels," was all Google said, and the man quickly disappeared.
"Well this has been quite the eventful morning," Annus scanned his new housemates, "it has been a pleasure to meet you all."
Dark hummed, "well there is one more."
As if on cue loud off key singing could be hear upstairs, followed by rapid footsteps and a pink moustached face appeared at the top of the stairs.
"Oh hello old chap," he drawled, "been some time since I've seen you."
Annus shook with laughter, "indeed it has Wilford."
In seconds they were engulfed in a full body hug.
"Wilford embraces his old friend time, as the surrounding members of the household realise they have miscalculated and forgotten the existence of the Host. He sits waiting patiently for one of them to acknowledge him."
The Host leaned casually against the oven, slurping obnoxiously loud from his cup.
"Passive aggressive as always Host," Bim grinned, raising his coffee in cheers.
Yancy raised his hand for attention, "can we goes back to the part where he called our new friend Annus here, time?"
All eyes turned to Annus and Wilford.
Annus simply shrugged, "well I'm not time itself that would be rather ridiculous."
"You'd be surprised," Google muttered.
"I am more or less a god of time."
"A God you say!" Captain Magnum exclaimed, knocking Doctor Plier's cup onto him as he threw his arms in the air.
"Small G," Annus chuckled, offering a handkerchief to Doctor Plier.
Dark raised his eyebrows, "a god, how interesting. And we're just going to gloss over the fact you know Wil."
Wilford shook his head, throwing an arm around Dark, "well it wouldn't be fun just giving you all the answers now would it."
Dark bit his tongue with a smile, "of course not."