It's been a long time since Oliver left, so long that I've stopped counting the days in fear that I might drive myself mad. I spoke with him during Hanukkah last year, but all he left me with were the pieces of my broken heart. Our last interaction left me wanting more, it left me yearning for the feeling of his skin on mine and the sound of his whisper in my ear. He would be married by now and would have forgotten about the summer that we once shared. Luka got here only days ago with no knowledge of the standard I held him at. Every party I accompanied him too only reminded me of Oliver dancing to my favorite song on the night I fell in love with him. Day after day I translated music and swam in the lake with an empty hole in my chest missing what I had gotten so accustomed to having. But, I knew. I knew that Oliver and I were no longer an option and I wished him all the happiness in the world, even if I wasn't a part of it. In order to let him go I needed to sever all communication that I had with him or my heart would never heal.
One afternoon while laying in Oliver's favorite spot beside the pool, my mother came out to tell me that he was on the phone and asked if I wanted to talk to him. I said no. Talking to him would only delay the inevitable heartbreak I would feel when he hung up the phone once again. She walked away for a couple moments before coming back to tell me he was coming to visit.
I sighed, "Okay."
Luka decided to join me outside to do some work for my father. We laid in silence until he turned to look at me.
"Was he good?" He asked.
"Was who good?" I responded, not opening my eyes.
"Oliver. The man that came before me."
"Oh. Yes. He was good at his work." I said, my voice breaking slightly.
"Then I should be excited to meet him. When will he be visiting?"
"You'd have to ask my mother."
"Did she not tell-"
"Let's go into town." I shouted slightly, cutting him off. "Go get changed."
I got up and began to walk into the house. I wouldn't have lasted much longer in that conversation. He followed close behind me but ended up in Oliver's room as I walked past it and into mine. I overheard Luka and my mother talking quietly about when Oliver would be here.
"His flight will land on Wednesday morning and he will be here by the afternoon," my mother said and then walked away.
Luka was left with the childish excitement of meeting someone that he had heard so much about, while I was left with the nerves of seeing someone that broke me. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't see Luka walk in through the bathroom and ask when we were leaving. "Soon" I told him, and he vanished back into his room. I regretted asking him to go into town, the thought of having to be around Oliver again made me want to disappear. He would know that I had been avoiding him and I wondered if it would hurt him the way that he hurt me. I doubted it.
Walking out of my room I called for Luka to come on and he followed quickly behind me and down the stairs. I kissed my mother's cheek and waved goodbye to my father as I got my bicycle and rode down the dirt path and into the town. We browsed through the shops and walked around greeting those that walked by. There wasn't much to do on such a hot day in the middle of the summer. He suggested the lake but I knew it would be crowded and I didn't want to be seen by anyone that would ask me how I was or if I was okay. There was a party that night that he thought that we should attend, but I needed to go back to the house and be by myself.
I ended up falling asleep on the couch and did not wake up until the next morning. I could feel the wind blowing through the open doors next to me and the sun shining on my face giving me warmth. Tomorrow Oliver would be here and I was not planning on being around when he arrived. Luka walked in and gave me a friendly smile before sitting next to me and offering a peach.
"Good morning, sleepyhead," he said, laying his arm on my knee.
"How was the party?" I responded, smiling at him.
"Oh, I didn't go."
"And why not?"
"It seemed useless without you there."
"Next time."
We sat in silence for a little bit while we both ate our peaches. He laid his head on my leg and next thing I knew, we drifted off to sleep once again.
When we woke up, the sun was setting. He looked me in the eyes and stood up before stumbling away into the other room. I heard an enthusiastic yell coming from the kitchen, but brushed it off and walked upstairs. After thinking about what I could do to pass the time I decided I would go for a swim. I changed into my swimsuit and grabbed a towel from the bathroom. Ready for the refreshing water touching my skin, I hurried down the stairs not aware of my surroundings. I told my mother and father I'd be back later and Luka said he would join me soon. From behind me I heard a familiar voice that filled the room and broke my heart. I turned around to meet his gaze.
"Later," Oliver said, giving me an awkward grin.
I froze. I was not going to give him the satisfaction of a response. I turned my back to him and walked away. He wasn't supposed to be here until tomorrow. As soon as I walked out of the door I heard footsteps following me.
"Please leave me alone, Oliver." I said quietly to him.
"It's me, Luka," he said, sounding disappointed.
I whipped around to look at his face, and his eyes were filled with sadness.
"I'm sorry, I thought you were Oliver," I pleaded. "Please stay."
"Your father is requesting my presence," He said sadly. "I'll come find you later."
I watched as he walked away from me with his head hanging low as if he didn't want to see me again. Walking to the pool felt like a lifetime with the thoughts of what I wanted to say to make Oliver go home. I felt bad for never telling Luka what happened between us. He doesn't deserve to be kept in the dark and made to feel like the enemy. I'll make it up to him the next time I see him.
I laid by the pool and let the sun hit my skin. It felt like a weight being lifted off of my shoulders, and it was amazing. I hadn't felt this level of calm for as long as I can remember. I began to drift off into sleep when I heard a voice that sounded far away.
"Are you asleep?" they said.
"I was." I replied, my eyes adjusting to the light.
I looked over to find Oliver standing next to me, blocking the sun. I closed my eyes again not wanting to engage or listen to what he had to say.
"Go away please," I told him demandingly.
"Are you ever going to talk to me?"
I didn't reply. He turned to walk away.
"I miss you, Oliver." He said.
I was sure you could hear my heart break from miles away. I wanted him. I want to be held in his arms like we were the only two people in the world. I want to feel the way I did when he walked into the room and gave me that smile that made me remember all the things he did to me the night before. He knew what he was doing and I refuse to believe that this was anything more than a game to him.
I ignored his arrogance and attempt to talk to me. In this moment, by myself, in Oliver's favorite spot, I decided to go out and have fun for the first time in ages. I waited to go inside until I heard Oliver ride away on his bike. My father was still in the study doing work with Luka, I peered my head in before inviting him to join me to the party. When he accepted I told him I'd see him later and retreated to my room. The rest of the evening was spent lying around waiting for them to finish their work; waiting for Luka to come find me. When he came into my room asking if I was ready to go, I could feel my stomach getting tied in knots. He gave me so much excitement.
"Ready," I said as I let him grab my arm and pull me off of the bed.
We walked through the hallway and down the stairs making small talk and giggling like two teenagers. It felt really good to have someone that I could trust, someone that wouldn't hurt me. I could feel that tonight was going to be the most fun that I had had since last summer. We said goodbye to everyone in the house and just as we were about to walk out the door, my mother called my name from the kitchen.
"Elio! Vieni qui per favore," she yelled.
I walked into the room to her and my father standing over the table. It seemed like they had bad news.
"I know that things didn't end well with Oliver but please, my love, be nice to him," she said quietly, so that Luka wouldn't hear.
I scoffed and looked up at my father, expecting him to defend me. But he didn't.
"Okay." I said.
As I walked to leave the anger and frustration started to build. It felt like I was moving in slow motion. When I reached the door, I turned around and stopped.
"But you know, he wasn't nice to me. He made me think that he loved me for an entire summer, just to throw me away when he found something better." I said, my voice breaking.
Both of them stayed silent, and I turned to leave. I could hear them begin to whisper as I left the room, but I didn't care enough to try to hear them.
I found Luka waiting for me outside and gave him a weak smile. He looked at me with pity, and I knew he had heard what happened.
"Are you okay?" He asked in a sweet voice.
"Yes, Luka. I'm okay." I replied.
"What was that about?"
"Oliver."
"What about him?"
"We loved each other once, but it didn't last as long as he or I had hoped. After he left, he called to tell us he was getting married," I sighed and widened my eyes to prevent the tears from falling. "I was heartbroken, he was happy, so I didn't speak to him again. I have no desire to rekindle our friendship, and my parents don't seem to like that."
"I'm here for you." He replied.
It was a simple response, but it meant the world to me.
The rest of the ride to the party was silent. Neither of us had anything else to say, but we were both enjoying each other's presence.
YOU ARE READING
And I'll Call You by Mine
RomanceThe Call Me by Your Name sequel we deserved. When Luka, the new intern, arrives the summer after Oliver has left, Elio is troubled by his feelings for him and scared because of how his last romance left him. But when Oliver comes back to Italy to vi...