And I'll Call You by Mine

chapter 3

As I rejoined the group on the dance floor, all eyes seemed to be on me. Did they see something that they weren't supposed to see? I knew that eventually someone would speak their mind and I wouldn't be in the dark, but it felt as if they were holding something back.
"What are you all looking at?" I said with a quiet scoff.
While I was staring into their blank faces, I noticed that Marzia wasn't in the crowd and neither was Luka.
"Where is Marzia?" I asked, even though they were all still silent.
After they all just continued to look at me as if I did something wrong, I decided to just walk away. I would look for them myself. I pushed through the herds of people that were on the dance floor and in line to get drinks only to find Luka standing by himself on the edge of the street. I slowly approached him and tapped on his shoulder to get his attention without startling him. When he turned to look at me he was biting his nails, which I had never seen him do before. Clearly there was something on his mind that was bothering him. He turned away to face the other direction, as if he was avoiding eye contact.
"Hey.. Are you okay?" I whispered in a caring tone.
"Mhm," he replied in a way that let me know he was upset about something.
"What's wrong? Please talk to me."
"What is there to talk about, Elio? You clearly still want to be with Oliver. I am here to work, and I have clearly messed up my priorities here."
"I don't, Luka, I don't. I don't want to be with him, but he's hurting. How can I just ignore that?"
"Your definition of comforting someone is to kiss them? I don't want that. I should've known better," he said sighing with his last word, "I'll see you at home, Elio."
He began to walk away, and at the same time it was like I could feel him slipping away from me.
"Luka, please," I pleaded for him to stay, but he just kept getting farther and farther away.
I could no longer hold my tears back as they started to flow down my cheeks and onto my shirt. I could
hear someone walking to me from behind, but I had no desire to stick around long enough to see who it was.
"I'm sorry, but I have to go home," I said as my voice cracked.
I rushed off in the same direction that Luka had gone, hoping that if I just kept running I would eventually catch up to him; but I didn't. By the time I got back home, it was pitch black and silent as if there was no life in the house. It took everything in me not to sneak into Luka's room and ask for forgiveness, but I knew he wouldn't listen. At least not yet.
As soon as my head hit the pillow, I fell asleep. When I woke up the next morning, for a few seconds it was as if all my problems had washed away. But, then I remembered everything. I wished that I didn't have to leave my room, I had no desire to face the things that I had done the night before. Despite all of that, I still got out of bed. I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen where Mafalda was making breakfast and mother was reading beside her.
"Good morning, Elly Belly," mother said as she looked at me with a smile.
"Morning, mom. Mafalda," I said cheerfully as I kissed them both on the cheek.
"I heard you had quite the night."
"Did he tell you that?"
"Who?"
"Luka? Or Oliver?"
"They didn't say anything, you just came in late is all."
"It was fine," I said as the final word as I walked out of the kitchen and into the yard.
I decided that I would sit outside by the water and enjoy the sun. While I walked toward the poolside, Marzia came running into the grass. I stopped in my tracks to let her catch up with me. I turned to look and accept a loving hug from her.
"Your mom said you'd be out here," she said.
"I'm here. Where did you go last night?" I replied.
"Me and Luka went for a walk after you left with Oliver. I assumed you'd want some alone time."
"Are you the one that told Luka that I left with Oliver?"
"Well.. Yes, but only because he asked."
"What did you guys talk about anyways?"
"Well.. that's what I wanted to tell you about! We kissed!"
"You and Luka?"
"Yes! He kissed me. I hadn't realized how handsome he was until he was a few inches from my face."
I was shell shocked. I couldn't believe that he would do that, and with someone he knew I was close to. Without saying anything, I walked away. As I continued to walk to the pool my mind was racing with a million different thoughts. I sat on the edge of the pool with my feet in the water and leaned my head back as though that would help me process what I had just heard. I needed a distraction or this would drive me crazy.
I pulled out 'The Heptameron' by Marguerite of Navarre so that I had something to focus on that had nothing to do with Oliver or Luka.
As I read the lines and flipped through the pages I couldn't help but remember the first real day that me and Oliver ever spent together. This was the book that mother used to read to me and my father when the storms would get bad. When we finally finished it, she gave it to me so that I could read it whenever I was feeling down.
"Is it better to speak or die?" I whispered to myself.
"So, does he speak?" A voice asked from behind me.
"No," I giggled, "he fudges."
I turned to see Oliver towering over me, casting a shadow over my body.
"What are you doing?" He asked.
"Im reading. It's a nice day."
"It is."
I stood up to face him. I always forget how much taller he is then me until he's standing in front of me.
He leaned down and whispered into my ear, "I miss you."
"I miss you too," I looked at him with sad eyes, "but I need to find Luka. I really hurt him last night. I will come find you later."
Just as I began to walk away, I saw Luka coming toward us. When he saw Oliver he stopped in his tracks and instantly got a disappointed look in his face. I ran toward him before he could start to back away. I will not let him avoid this conversation. I can't believe he had the audacity to try to make me feel bad about kissing Oliver, after he kissed Marzia.
"Luka!" I called out for him.
"Elio," he called back, almost expressionless.
But just as he called for me, from across the yard, I heard Oliver pleading.
"Oliver, come back to me," he yelled.
I stood between the both of them looking back and forth, deciding which one of them I wanted to go to. Did I want to go back to Oliver who, right now, wanted only to love me and show me affection? Or do I want to go to Luka, whose intentions are unknown, and who had just betrayed my trust? They both had the same look in their eyes, sadness, sorrow, regret, and a hint of anger. But which was more urgent? Who needed me the most?