Just hold my hand - I (Kylo Ren x reader) [Complete]

Chapter ten - "Ben..."

Meanwhile Kylo Ren was in his room, he hadn't come out in two days, neither for meals, he got his foot delivered at his room.
He had thought about what you did for hours. He didn't know what to do... was it anger? Was it shame? You had had access to one of his most secret thoughts.
As he saw the stormtrooper holding you he couldn't control himself. No one could touch you. He didn't understand how it could have been possible for a pathetic soldier to touch you but not to him. He understood that he wanted to keep you away from all those idiots under his command. You were too powerful, too superior to interact with people like them, he was the only one who was worthy enough, he was the Supreme Leader.
He sent those thoughts away and tried to sleep.

He found himself in front of the door to his private hall and as it slided open he felt furious. You were surrounded by stormtroopers with weapons pointed at you and ready to fire. He immediately walked to stand behind you and pointed the door for the stormtroopers to run away, and so they did. Then he smirked under the mask and lowered his head to look at you.  "I told you I wasn't gonna do it again " he said. "I know, you were clearly wrong " you replied. Then it happened, you smiled to him. That innocent smile of your that made you look so adorable. He lost control, he wanted you, so much he was worried that love and lust could have consumed him. He lifted you in his arms and took you to his bedroom. As he was starting to undress you he was going crazy. Then you started to take off his clothes and he was shivering under your touch. He wanted to kiss you, so much. He started to take his mask off, leaning down to close the distance between your lips.

He woke up suddently, sweating.
As soon as he sat on the bed he immediately felt something in the room. Someone. He wasn't alone. He immediately reached for his lightsaber that was on the other side of the bed and enlighted it. He moved it to see in the corners of the room and then he saw the reflection of a pair of eyes staring at him. He jumped out and pointed his weapon to them. Then he froze. In front of him was standing Leia, a loving look on her face.

"Ben, I finally can look at my son again..."
"Mother..."
"I saw your dream and I felt your thoughts about your new apprentice through the Force"
"That's none of your business, I am not Ben Solo anymore, I killed him. Now I am Kylo Ren. And that girl is destinated to become the most powerful Commander the First Order has ever seen! I'm giving her all my knowledge."
"It's not just that and you know it. I'm here to help you understand what those impulses were as you saw her in someone else's hands. I'm here to explain to you why you had that dream and why you didn't want her to see what you did after saving her."
"I don't care, leave me alone"
"You love her Ben. And that anger was jealousy. You feel the need of protecting her, keeping her under your wing. Don't hurt her, because I'm sure you know she might be the one who can give you happiness."

Leia disappeared. Tears started filling his eyes. He crashed on the bed , covering his face with his hands to muffle his sobs. He muttered to himself

"Yes ... I love her....

...but as she said, I'm a monster"