Unconditionally Conditioned |

•︎☯︎︎𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟺☯︎︎•

          Alice awoke to a stinging sensation on her face, she opened her eyes... '1...2...3...4...5' she muttered along with her rubbing her eyes which quickly led to her wincing with pain as she rubbed the now rebelled skin on her cheeks. She glanced over at the clock 2:45am
'How did I get here...' she mumbled, scanning the room until her eyes caught the sleeping Jason on the other end of the sofa. Panicked she jumped out of her seat and woke him up.
"Oh Alice, you're up.' Jason spoke, his raspy voice hanging onto his words.
He sat himself up and ran his hand through his curly black hair.
"What h-happened" she stuttered, overrun with embarrassment as she glared down at her hands... she knew what had happened she just didn't want to admit it.
"Milo came running passed my apartment without you when you were on your walk, I followed him, and, well, there you were." Jason recalled, clearly not wanting to bring anymore harm to the young girl.
Alice stayed quiet, it was happening all over again. She reassured Jason that she was okay and insisted that he left, she had too much to think about and a guest was the last thing she wanted.

After thanking Jason once more, he quietly left the apartment, leaving Alice alone once more.
She quickly turned on the lights, engulfing the room in a blinding light, too sensitive for Alice.  She shook it off and scanned the room. It's different.
Doors were open, there was a pill bottle was in the doorway of the bathroom, everything was not as she left it.
Alice didn't hesitate, she turned off the tv after turning it off and on three times before to bring it to a forth. She cleaned the sofa and ran to the bathroom, narrowly missing the pill bottle.
She ripped the cupboard open and found various assortments of cleaning supplies. She began cleaning the floor, which was patched with dry blood and mud, causing a shiver up Alice's spine. She scrubbed, twice down, twice up, one to the left and one to the right, she carried on the pattern until the stains were no more. Every time she was back and forth the bathroom she was continuously drawn to the light switch 'on, off, on, off, on' she mumbled, she didn't mind it landing on a five that was the only odd number she could tolerate.
The time was now 4:38am and Alice's hands were raw from the excessive cleaning, but she didn't mind because that meant the thoughts of bacteria had a chance to subside.
She finally retired to her bed, first she did her usual on the lights, then the curtains and then the pillows before laying in her bed, staring at the ceiling. She couldn't help but think of Jason, how he showed actual kindness towards the girl. How even though they are pretty much strangers, he still came to her aid.
Alice woke to the piercing rays of the day leading through her curtains, she did her routine before finally getting up. She looked around for her phone, until finally seeing it on the kitchen counter she glared at the time 11:30am. Her brows furrowed as she read she had a few missed calls and a couple of text messages nothing major. She tapped and clicked away as she always did every morning, taking her meds and feeling all the more better. Pushing yesterday to the back of her mind, Alice went to the bathroom to do her usual routine, she jumped as she caught glimpse of herself in the bathroom, her cheeks had scabbed over as well as the side of her lip, when inspecting them with her hand, she noticed the marks on her hands too, then it flooded back.
Her mind was having a constant battle between the meds and the intrusive thoughts all morning, it drained her to the point where some days she wouldn't leave her bed.

She was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard a knock at the door, unfamiliar to her as it concluded with 5 knocks, hesitant she crept up to the door. Jason, who could see her silhouette pressed against the door window didn't bother knocking again as he saw she was already aware of his presence.
"Hey Alice, it's Jason, I'm just checking on you. Can you open up?" He asked. He was met with silence as he watched her body slowly slide down the door.
Alice was frozen, no matter how many times she rehearsed it over and over, nothing came out of her mouth, instead she let out a faint knock which lead Jason to do the same.
Jason soon had an idea, following Alice's lead, he slid down the outside of the door and returned the knock.
"I have an idea, one knock for yes, two for no" Jason spoke, leaning his head towards the door.
Assuming she was okay with it, Jason began to speak.
"Have you taken your meds today?" Jason asked, concentrating his senses onto hearing an answer, a few seconds had passed and there came a quiet knock from Alice's side. Relived, Jason moved onto his next question.
"Have you eaten?" He asked, two knocks came from the other side.
"Why don't I make you some? You don't have to let me in if you don't want to, I can order it to the door. Silence. Alice rarely ate takeaway. She'd only ever possible bring herself to if the health rating was 5. She wouldn't eat chicken unless it was thoroughly inspected, wouldn't eat anything spicy, definitely won't eat kebab like dishes and the only veg she eats is broccoli. Two knocks softly made its way back to Jason on the other side. Jason wasn't best pleased with the answer and when he asked why he was just met with silence once more. It stayed like that for a while. "I'll make food." Alice, finally breaking the silence as she muttered out to him. He smiled at the reply, relieved if anything. His background on dealing with certain disorders was poor but he wanted to learn. Alice once again ushered him away so she could make herself dinner, just a simple pizza and salad. She put a few slices on a plate, wrapped it in tin foil and wrote out in sharpie 'Jason' she thought it was the least she could do after what he's done for her.