Survive together [Lams Hunger games AU]

Chapter nineteen- Alternate ending

(A/N Yes. This now exists. I had a great plan for this book, but in the end I changed my plan, making a new plan and that's what I followed through with. I am now going to write my first plan here and share it with you guys. THIS ENTIRE CHAPTER IS A SUICIDE WARNING!)

Me and John huddled together on the mountain side, John was still crying over Hercules. The water had started to drain now that the monster was gone, and the sun had risen. Soon the arena was completely drained out, the forest looked like a complete mess, trees littered the ground, dirt everywhere. Everything green had died.

John stopped crying and we hugged each other for a moment.

"What now?" I asked him.

"One of us has to win," John said.

"Not me," I said.

"But it has to be you," John said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because, you have family to get to," John replied.

"And you don't?" I asked.

"I-" John said, but he didn't know what to say.

"Don't lie to me. You have some big happy family waiting for you," I said.

"But you wont be there," John said.

I looked up at him.

"We cant both live," John pointed out.

At that we where both silent. John has to live. I can't live, he has somewhere to go. He has a family. I need to make him live. I thought. Before John could react, I reached behind me and grabbed a knife. I held it up to my throat. John screamed and jumped on me. The knife flew from my hands, skidding across the rocks.

John pinned me down, tears streaming down both of our faces. John put a large rock on my coat, then stood up and ran towards the knife. I tried to move away but the rock held me down.

"JOHN NO YOU CAN'T!" I yelled, my voice cracking.

I finally yanked my coat free and looked towards him. He was just scrabbling towards the knife, reaching towards it. I looked around quickly, grabbed a small rock, and threw it at his hand. It ended up hitting his chest, and he stumbled backwards. I took this moment to run towards the knife.

"ALEX NO-" John shouted, re-gaining foot holds.

I reached down and picked up the knife. I looked over at John as I held it to my throat. His pitiful face. His hair, perfectly curly. I remember the time when he confessed to me. During that hurricane. That had been one of the worst yet one of the best moments of my life. More tears streaked down my face. John stumbled towards me, tripping over a rock.

"I love you John," I said, my voice wavering.

"NO!" John yelled, pushing himself up.

At that moment he collided with me. We went skidding down the mountain side, hitting rocks along the way. We slid through mud, bouncing on large rocks, hitting tree's. John held tightly onto me, wrapping his arms around me to keep my safe, making sure that he would get a fatal hit to the head instead of me. 

I struggled to get free. We slid into a large puddle of mud, where John stood up, he somehow had stolen the knife from me.

"Don't you dare. You have so much to live for," I said, my voice cracking like crazy.

"I don't have anything to live for if you aren't alive," John whispered, holding the knife to his throat.

John was sitting on the mud a couple feet away from me, in the W position. Tears flooded down his perfect freckled face. I pushed myself towards him, dragging my body through the mud, my tears where probably enough to re-flood the entire arena. I reached out a shaky hand toward him, and wrapped my fingers around the knife.

John tried to pull the knife from my grasp but I forced it away from him, using all my strength to get the weapon away from John's throat. the knife ended up being flung from out hands and stabbing into the bark of a tall tree.

John looked at me, then sprinted over. I pushed myself up slowly, not moving my eyes away from John. John reached towards the knife, but was to short. The tree was on its size, horizontal, but the knife had lodged its self in a branch that reached out towards the sky. John reached around him and hoisted himself up into the tree.

I managed to wobbled towards him. But he was already reaching for the knife. He managed to pull it out from the tree, then hold it up to his throat.

Then he slit his throat.

"JOHN!" I cried, stumbling over to him.

He crumpled to the ground, falling off the tree he had been on and splashing into a large puddle of mud, blood spilling from his throat and mouth.

"I... love... you," He whispered.

"No you can't die," I wailed, grabbing his face in my hands.

I kissed his lips, then pressed my forehead to his. His eyes where so beautiful. His freckles perfect. His hair the most amazing thing I've ever seen. His head so perfectly shaped. His nose so adorable. He gave me a small smile, then closed his eyes.

And a canon sounded through the arena.

"JOHN! JOHN!" I screamed, kissing him all over his face, trying to wipe away the blood with my jacket.

Trumpet sounds played through the arena. 

"Announcing the winner of the eighty third hunger games. Alexander Hamilton," The speakers announced loudly.

I wrapped my arms around John, loudly crying in the mud. I heard the propellers of a hover craft, and felt wind blow around me. I was not going to let the capitol win. There was no point in living without John. I grabbed the knife, which had still been held tightly in Johns hand, and I brought it up to my throat.

"I love you John," I chocked out through tears.

"PUT THE WEAPON DOWN," A voice shouted from behind me.

Then I slit my throat.

I grabbed onto John. I pulled myself as close to him as I could get, resting my head on his chest as I my vision began to blur out.

"GRAB HIM! GET HIM TO THE MEDICS!" Someone yelled.

I gasped, blood poured out of my mouth as I laid on top of John. My vision wen't completely blank, and the feeling in my body suddenly disappeared.

My last thought was of John.