The lost Mexican-Italian mafia princess

Chapter 15: Broken

Rose's POV: Empty and Broken. If I had to describe how I felt those are the two words I would use, it's been about three days since I woke up and I haven't found the will and strength to get up from bed and do something. The day I woke up Alexander fed me and held me while I cried myself to sleep. 

I haven't felt this weak and dirty since I was 15, I hated this feeling. I feel stupid for even feeling like this, for letting myself break. I've learned to control my emotions and the emotional pain and sorrow that I would feel. I guess all these years of bottling up my emotions my bubble finally burst, and my mothers betrayal was my final trigger - my breaking point. But finding out that my own mother, the person who gave me life, fed me , protected me, loved me wasn't even my mother. 

Of course she gave birth to me but she wasn't my mother, not anymore she lost the right to have that title. No betrayal hurts more in life than the betrayal of your own blood. I wanted to not be affected by this but I just can't help it. Today was a new day and the sun rose for everyone but for me it was just another day to feel miserable and remember that my mother probably hated me to do so much harm to me. I heard the door open but I didn't even react. I just layed there staring at the curtains in my bedroom. 

"Rose." It was my father who called my name. I didn't answer back, I just kept a blank face. "My baby girl whatever you're going through I'm here and so is your family. I know that we've only met a couple of weeks ago and it'll take time to build your trust but nonetheless we're family and I'm your father, I'll always protect you with my life." My father's words had little effect on me at the moment because if my mother sold me for her own benefit what stops him from doing the same to me. 

I know deep inside my conscience that it isn't fair that I'm judging him based on the actions of a vulgar woman but I can't help it. I thought I knew her and that she loved me but it was all a fucking lie. The only person that I could trust was myself because in this world we're all alone no matter how many people say they care for you or if their family. We are all left to fend for ourselves because people leave you when you become a burden for them or it's inconvenient for them to have ties with you. "Ok" was all I said and then my father left me alone to drown in my thoughts and emotions. I got up and shower because no matter how miserable I felt I hated to feel physically dirty because I already felt like that emotionally and mentally. I took a shower and came out of the restroom to find Stefano with food and some drinks. When he looked at me he gave me a look of sympathy and pity. 

"I'm not hungry you can take the food back downstairs thank you." Deep inside I knew he didn't deserve this kind of treatment but I can't help it, at the moment I'm not in control of my emotions. 

"Come on princess I just want you to eat a little and then I'll promise to leave you alone." I looked into his eyes again and there was a hint of desperation. "I even helped cook the meal when I wasn't burning the house down." If it were any other day I would've probably cracked a smile at his corny joke and bad attempt at the dish he had in his hands. From here I noticed that it was fajitas with arroz rojo (red rice). 

One of my favorite meals which Alexander told him I think. I gave in and just swallowed a couple of bites of the food before pushing the plate away. If I ate more I'm pretty sure that I would throw up. It wasn't because the food was bad it actually tasted pretty good it was just when I would fall into these episodes  by body would only allow me to consume so much. If I ate more then I wanted to I would throw up and that's the last thing that I need right now."Thank you," I said plainly. He gave me a sad smile and walked out of my room. I'm glad he didn't ask about what happened because I just couldn't talk about it, at least not yet. I was lying there and I drifted off to sleep. 

This is your TW there will be mention of r@pe and cutting if you're triggered skip until I tell you it ends.(i'll write end scene in bold letters so yk that the mention of r@pe is finished )

"You stupid worthless bitch, you're not even useful for a good fuck" said Andrei as he zipped up his pants and left me in the floor broken and in pain, so much pain. "Please let me go, I haven't done anything to you, please." He laughed, and evil malicious laugh that'll probably hunt me for the rest of my life. "No, you're mine now and forever I paid a good price and a nice bargain for you." I didn't know what he meant by that because when I was watching the news it said he kidnapped girls by random and also I looked nothing like the girls he had taken. "Let me go you piece of shit, so fucking pathetic you have to kidnap innocent girls to be satisfied, guess you're so incompetent to get a grown women to be with you. I mean who would have you seen yourself in the mirror you fat fuck." I don't know where I found the courage to tell him off but I had it just for a split second, I had to show this man that I wasn't afraid of him. I might've begged him to let me go but that didn't work so I'm bruising his ego. "Listen here little girl you know nothing about me. I can get any woman I want." I laughed at his statement "The only way you can get a woman is by force you disgraceful bitch, shit you can't even get it up all the way. You're probably the worst fuck a woman has ever experience." With that I felt a sting across my face and a burning sensation on my stomach. He slapped me then cut my stomach pretty deep, I was scared that I was going to bleed out at that moment.

End Scene you can keep reading if you skipped the r@pe scene 

 I woke up sweaty and screaming and a pain in my stomach where I had my scare. The pain felt so surreal like I was back in that time but that was probably a result of the dream. Stefano, Alexander and my father burst into their guns and a worried look on their face. "I'm fine it was just a nightmare, sorry." 

They gave me an apologetic look and I just shrugged it off and walked to the bathroom to shower the sweetness away. I took a cold shower and when I came out of my restroom I saw someone sitting at the corner of my bed. "I know we just met but I feel this pull to you and I'm not saying this to pressure you in any way. I guess this is my way of telling you that I care for you and it hurts to see you like this. I want you obviously with time to be able to rely on me." Stefanos words touched something that made me start sobbing. He turned arounds and embraced me into a hug that was comforting and I welcomed it. I clung onto him like my life depended on him and I just let it out. After what felt like an hour he picked me up and set me down on my bed and started to walk away and I grabbed his wrist. "Stay the night with me please " I asked Stefano. He nodded and laid down and I laid my head on his cheat letting the sound of his heart beat clam me and soon sleep took over me. 

Hey guys like promised I updated today. Thank you for all of you guys who read and vote it motivates me to keep writing. The story is far from over but I was already thinking about new ideas for another story I'll write after or during this story. Some ideas are FBI agents, roommates or CEO business related wise. I'd like your input on what type of story you'd want to read next. Also just a warning for the characters there will be a lot of internal thinking and emotional explanations so you guys can understand more of what the characters are feeling/thinking so if you don't like that type of style then I wouldn't really recommend this book. I'm an over thinker so I want to project that onto my characters and write and explain every emotion and thought they have. Love you <3