Missing Chances

Kabanata 23

Kabanata 23

"HERE, princess." Kuya gave me a bottled water pagkatapos naming maupo sa bench.

Nagpahinga lang kami saglit pagkatapos ng jogging kasama ang mga aso. Cho-choo was playing with the other dogs, napangiti ako at napasandal sa bench bago nilingon si Kuya.

"Thanks for checking on Cho-choo for the past week, Kuya. Iuuwi ko na ngayon."

Kuya nodded. He was staring at the dogs playing, licking his lip. Sinuklay niya ng bahagya ang buhok at nilingon ako, ang asul na mata kumislap nang ngumiti siya.

"How's life, princess?" aniya kaya napangiti ako at bumuntonghininga.

"Good, like usual," I said. "Blessing in disguise rin na kahit papaano may say tayo sa schedule. You know na dati ayokong pinapakialaman mo o ni Papa ang schedule ko but now that I have Cookie, pabor na sa akin. How about you? Ngayon lang tayo nakapag-usap ulit."

"As usual, nothing new," he said. "Thank you for looking after the kids when I'm gone, I hope they don't bother you much."

"Ano ka ba?" Natawa na ako. "Parang ibang tao makapagsalita!"

His lip twitched for a smile, inangat niya ang kamay para guluhin ang buhok ko.

"Sorry, I just felt bad for giving you more responsibility. I know Cookie's a small kid, mahirap alagaan, dadagdag pa ang kambal. I just felt bad that instead of me, looking after my kids, ikaw pa ang sumasalo sa akin." I noticed something in his eyes and even if he is hiding it, I can see through it.

"They are never a bother to me, Kuya. In fact, masaya nga akong nandoon ang kambal sa condo madalas, Cookie is happy with them. Palagi niyang kaharutan ang dalawa tapos tinuturaan siyang magbasa ni Sky."

I saw his eyes widen. "Really?" He was amused and proud.

"The twins are smart, Kuya. Hindi man masyadong gamay pa ni Sky ang magbasa ay pinipilit niya tapos mahuhuli ko silang tatlo minsan nanunuod ng mga kwentong pambata sa phone. It was Sky na palagi kong naririnig na mag-summarize sa kwento." I chuckled but then it faded when I noticed his smile faded.

"I don't think I'm a good father, Daru," he said, stopping me.

"What?" My forehead creased. "What are you saying? You are a good father, Kuya. The twins admired you so much. Si Sunny? She's always telling me how excited she is kapag uuwi ka na sa bahay."

"I'm a mess myself too, Darsh. I am trying to be a good Dad pero pakiramdam ko kulang na kulang ako sa mga bata. I felt like I am still not doing my best, parang kulang pa. Parang hindi pa ako sapat."

Hearing it from someone as amazing as him made my heart ache.

"What are you saying?" I gasped. "I am telling you, Kuya. You are a good father. I know everyone has issues pero we're doing our best to improve over time, right? If you have problems you can open up to me para mawala ang bigat. H'wag kang gagaya sa akin na tinatago ang problema, look at what happened, nagsabong kami ni Papa."

"I am doing my best to speak up but I find it difficult." He laughed a bit. "I'm afraid I'll say something bad and it might hurt someone. You know we got our attitude bad from Papa, look now. Parang kambal natin siya."

Sabay kaming natawa roon at napatango.

"Pero Papa is learning to control his emotions and mouth, Mama is there to help him with that. Kung kaya ni Papa, kaya rin natin s'yempre." I smiled at him. "Is this about Storm? Nasabi sa akin ng mga bat ana palaging wala ang asawa mo, they said that they heard you two arguing."

Natigilan si Kuya.

"The... kids heard it?" he asked and sadly, I nodded.

"Fuck!" he cursed and closed his eyes painfully. "I don't know. What a useless father am I..."