How can I make things matter, make myself care of my grades, my attitude, my anger issues, my OCD when this life is all I have? How can I make myself yearn for a job and university and money and a family when this life is all I have? I don't want to waste away in a glass of scotch. That's no way to spend this life which is all I have. But I want to be intoxicated. After all, this life is all I have. How do you hope if you know that in fifty years it won't matter if you hoped or not? I want to hold onto this world, I don't want to fade. But this world... its... it isn't really a world is it? Because think of 'world'. Think of the word. The lure in it, the seduction in its letters. Think of the freedom in it. The world. the World. THE WORLD. the world. And then you wish to tell me that this is a world, that this is the world. I can't wish for another, they'll call me ungrateful. I can't wish for a different one, they'll tell me about kids in Africa. I can't wish to leave this one, they'll call me suicidal. I can't wish to try and enjoy this one, they'll call me crazy. But this. Well this. This can work. This writing down my thoughts. This telling you my story. This isn't something I yearn for. This is something I have. Here, I can make a world. A world of my own. And they can't call me ungrateful or crazy or suicidal or tell me of kids in Africa, because I won't let them in. But this scares me. This writing down of my soul. Because it makes me see. It makes me see in bold, letters what I am. And I fight the urge to undo this all and keep it to myself. I'll hide in this world then. This world of Nia and Acelius and the boy. This world I fashioned this July. This world that I know nothing of and yet it knows everything of me. For I created it. It's a fraction of me. I hope this world protects it. I hope this world can teach me how to make things matter. I hope this book unravels me, as i it. I hope that if words do have the power to change us, they change me.
YOU ARE READING
unraveled
Fantasy"I've seen rats with better attention spans than you," she said onto his face. And then the boy was there pulling her onto her feet and off of him. "But have you seen them with such beautiful faces?" he asked, standing up, brushing off th...
