By Another Name

Chapter 13.

13.

LOUIS

We are sitting out in the black of night with a billion brilliant stars in the sky in the middle of nowhere. The flames from the fire that Carlos and Anna created before they went to bed are putting a warm glow on the guitar Denton is holding, and my God he's a master at it. I had no idea he was even able to play, let alone by ear. For the past 45 minutes I've hummed him a bit of a melody for the songs I have in my lyric book, and he's started smashing the whole tune out while I sang. He's literally inventing music for my lyrics on the spot. I wonder if I can work up a whole demo of some of them with Denton to hand in to the lads and Julian and Ryan and Jamie. Wouldn't that fuck them up.

All of it is almost enough to distract me from how she looks with firelight playing in her eyes. She gets up and walks towards me and asks "Can I sit closer?" I nod. She drops right down in front of me while looking me in the eye, and then turns around and pushes up between my legs, leaning her head on my knee. "One more?" she asks.

"All I've got left is Kumbaya" and we all laugh, but Denton starts to play. I reach down for my drink glass and sling water at him. There's no bourbon left in it anyway. He puts the guitar up quick to shield his face.

"Hey..." he laughs...and then says, "I'm tired...I'm headed in." He gets up and is quickly gone. I forget sometimes how much I like camping, sans the tent and any of the work, and this seems a lot like that. I drop my hands onto her shoulders and start toying with the necklace she has on, and there is only the snap of the fire for a long time I just stare at it. There is no question in my mind that I want her to be naked and with me. I am absolutely sure that all she sees in me is the truth of who I am, even after this short time. She sees me as just Louis Tomlinson who writes songs and has a beautiful voice and for her, I am not a pretender or a liar. I am who I am.

I feel like the situation is mine to mess up, and I don't want to do that. I'm used to Al, the way we are. We're rough together. I'm always in charge, it's the only time I get to be with her. She makes me rough with her, always on edge, always wondering if I get to have her. She makes me tell her what to do, and sometimes she wants me to get angry when she doesn't do it. There have been bruises.

But they are bruises that Al professes to enjoy, and while that kind of thing does get me off, I am quite sure I can't go there with the flame currently running her fingers softly on the skin of my knee where my jeans have a hole. That square inch of my uncovered skin is burning with her touch more than the fire I am watching, and I can't hide that I'm getting hard with the thought of her touching me the same soft way all over. I am frozen.

She turns around between my legs and looks up at me. Her face is dark with the fire dancing behind her. "Lou," she starts quietly, "Can I touch your lips?"

"Please," I say in a way I've never asked before. She reaches a bit and puts her fingers softly on my lips and runs her thumb along the bottom one. My eyes close with anticipation and I know she can see my reaction in the firelight and the sizzle in her touch is too much. She starts to whisper impatiently, "I don't know what your situation is, but I would like it if we could be together tonight very much and I have no expectations or ideas except that I want you so much and you are the most beautiful thing I've seen and heard in a long time and I think Denton has brought me a gift and I don't want to lose what might be my only opportunity to unwrap it..." her breathing is more like a pant now. Everything in me is straining to hear her and my God she's saying exactly what I am thinking and she is definitely a bloody mind reader. "Can I touch your hands? Your body?" she whispers, and I manage to open my eyes to look at her. I think if I have to speak I will choke and so, with as much thought as I can muster I just say... "Yes."

She moves her hand from my lips and the vacancy there becomes an ache and she takes my hand in her hands and starts to kiss my palm and I am so undone with lust that I can't think of what to do next. She puts my hand on her heart as she slowly runs her hands up the inside of my shirt and starts to mumble soft words and moves her mouth up to my ear and keeps repeating, "Say something to me, I love your voice." And I still have nothing, because I don't want to mess this up.

"Don't think Louis Tomlinson," she whispers, "Stop thinking."

Bloody hell how does she know these things and who is this person, and stop thinking you stupid wanker. So to stop myself from thinking I lean forward and very gently kiss her, and lick her bottom lip. A groan escapes my mouth at the same time a groan escapes hers, and that sound is something I want to hear for the rest of my life.

I cannot be still any more. I'm moving into her and she is continuing to whisper 'I want you Louis, I want to kiss your beautiful mouth." Every part of me is burning, not just an empty slice on my knee.

She breaks the embrace and stands up. Boots come off, then jeans, her bra. She steps around my legs, capturing them between hers. I know where this is going and I won't stop. "Will you kiss me Louis?" I can't believe she thinks she has to ask, but I can only nod, and she bends her knees down to lean on the tree trunk that I am sitting on, and I realize if I just slip off of it and onto the ground the angle and access are perfect, and so I grab her ass do just that....her hands go straight to my hair and my head and I am confident that I will not mess this up, but I wish I could see her eyes and I am eventually using all of my fingers and she's like playing an instrument and when I hear her stop the panting, and I feel waves around my fingers, she folds down into my lap on the ground.

Somehow I am flat on my back with need and clothes are coming off, lips and tongues are everywhere and and the next time I open my eyes fully and look...all I can see in the dying firelight is beautiful woman straddling me with a million stars behind her hair and the ground is hard and cold against my back but she is warm and I reach up for her and move her to me and I run my fingers the length of her hair and I finally feel I can say something. I beg her in a whisper "Please I can't fucking handle how much I need you right now."

She actually whispers back, "Would you like me to sit down right here and make myself at home?" And her hand is wrapped around my achingly hard dick and I see the shadow of a sly smile on her face and is it possible to want a person this much and I know she is trying to tease the talking out of me so I smile at her smile and the smiles give me permission to say "God damnit yes!" A little bit louder than we've been. "Ah ha!" she laughs a bit, "So intense...well, I'll consider doing just that." The little tease just starts her way around me with her lips until she has me begging her to fuck me please. "Say it again," she smiles, and I am sitting up and grabbing her into my lap and saying to her, "Please please please fuck me you little tease." And just like that she shifts a bit and I am plunging up into her.

She starts rocking and I can barely hold on until the stars drop right down out of the sky and explode behind my eyelids.