Heart broken {tsukikage} {old tsukiyama} {old kagehina}

Looking back at it...haven't i always loved him....??

Ok I was bored so I wrote more._.

{Kageyama}<3

Ok I really want this to work [whatever i end up coming up with by the time I have to write it lol] because I really do love tsukishima, just 8 months ago If someone asked me if I'd like him I'd say no in a heartbeat

But I guess I'd say no still because I'm in love with him. I don't really know how it happened, but it did. And it has hit me like a truck. Suga says he feels the same way but I can't help but think he still hates me ;-;

I guess I've realized my feeling a while ago, I just didn't want to admit it to myself. I'd always just thought it was normal for friends to think of each other. To want to be close to each other.

The known fact started eating me alive when I started craving for him to touch me. I started longing for his touch. It's getting harder to act normal, when we're in practice but mainly when we're alone. I guess it's not to terrible because he cuddles me a lot but I can't help but want more. (Iykyk lmao)

I guess the thing that strikes me the hardest, looking back I think I've always loved him. I mean he was always different, even when I was dating hinata. I think it happened when hinata was flirting with kenma infront of me like 18 months ago. I was sad and I couldn't believe he did that so I went on a walk that night and I stopped by a tree

Next thing I know I was crying my eyes out. It happened to be a coincidence that tsukishima was also on a walk and he saw me sitting there crying.

He knelt down beside me and asked me what was wrong, and I don't know why but I told him. Once I explained it I was crying louder and unexpectedly he pulled me into a tight hug and said comforting things in my ear

Like that hinata didn't deserve me and that he's a shithead. After that night we didn't really talk about it but every once in a while he would ask me if hinata was treating me right.

The night I unknowingly and unwilling fell in love with my enemy, the person I 'hated', the person who hated me, and the person who's ex boyfriend cheated on him with my ex boyfriend. The person I love so much

Tsukishima kei~

Sometimes I can't help but wonder if tsukishima still loves yamaguchi. If he got over him. Or even if he would go back to him, the thought makes me sad but deep down I think it'll be ok

The one thought in my head 24/7, the thought that gets harder to keep in, that I want to tell him to bad, is
I love you tsukishima

Time for tsukishimas thoughts👀🥱🔪🏃‍♀️

Tsukishima<3

I actually knew all along I was in love with kageyama and I know it makes me sound like a dick but hear me out

In my defense I still somewhat liked yams.
Alright alright alright let's start from the beginning

Ok so I fell in love with kageyama when he had a lovers quarrel with, ugh hinata in my opinion I still don't like him but I'm trying to be nice because he's kageyamas friend now

Anyways it was because hinata was flirting with Kenma right in front of him. I saw him crying and I hugged him and said nice things for a whole hour. After the hug he smiled a genuine smile at me and I swear my heart stopped, of course I'm used to it now but it's still beautiful

Anyways it was like 2 months after I started dating yams, I barley liked him but I didn't want it to affect our friendship so after that night I tried to force myself to fall in love with him

I even had s*x with him to see if it would work but I wasn't even thinking about him....I was thinking about kageyama the whole time. It was only one time and I regret it

But when I found out he cheated on me, it wasn't like I was sad. I felt betrayal and anger because he cheated with hinata who was dating kageyama and I still loved kageyama, I loved him with all of my heart and it hurts me that he went through everything that he did.

Obviously I still love kageyama, more than anything. And I think I have a chance this time. I would never hurt him, he doesn't seem to have a problem when I touch him or rather he likes it when I touch him, he like leans into my touch but it's like he's scared to initiate the first touch hence why I cuddle him a lot.

Anyways I want him to touch me a little more then he does and I want to kiss him. I'm really worried about leaving him alone or with people I don't trust but he said he was going with suga and well I trust suga

I only trust kageyama, my aunt, suga, and daichi (the reasons I don't trust my brother are not important) but I wonder if kageyama is ever happy when he's with hinata

I know for a fact he didn't look happy when they were still dating. He looks happy, genuinely happy when he's with me and my family and suga but he looks uneasy around people he doesn't know or the rest of the team

Especially older men and women

That being said I'm so proud of him, he's doing so well. I want to tell him how I feel yet I'm scared of rejection and I'm scared of ruining what we have

I kissed him on the forehead earlier, before he left and he just smiled a smile he only smiles at me, a soft a warm smile and he hugged me before I walked off, leaving him with suga

I couldn't help but notice something different in tobio's eyes when he looked at me but I can't figure out what it was. It's not like it was anything bad either though. I already know he doesn't like when anyone touches him, it scares him. That's why it surprises me that he likes my touch.

But

I'll always

Love you kageyama

Omg I was so into writing this chapter lmao