𝙽𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝙴𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑

Fourteen

Jess

I was never any good at sleeping in a strange bed. My son could sleep through just about anything. I envied him that. Me? I wondered if I would get even an hour's worth that night.

I rolled onto my side, sighing. It wasn't just the bed. It was thoughts of Grayson-specifically, what had happened between us in my room. I couldn't forget it, and I didn't want to. We'd always been good together. He had known my body like the back of his hand by the time I left, even though it had been a while since he'd touched me. The passage of seven years hadn't done anything to make him forget how to turn me on.

It had been rapture, handing myself over to him like that. Letting him touch me, play with me, drive me crazy. I'd felt like a teenager again, and it had been a very long time since I'd felt that way. Like there was nothing as hot as being petted by a man I was crazy about...or at least, extremely hot for.

I was still hot for him. The thought made me squeeze my eyes shut. I wished it weren't true, but there was no denying the effect he had on me. His presence alone was enough to drive me crazy. It didn't help that I'd been so long without a man-even the slightest touch was bound to turn me on. That the touch came from Grayson only made things more exciting.

Oh, hormones. They made us do stupid things. I shouldn't have stayed with him the way I did, even when I knew he was bad news back in high school. He hadn't exactly tried to hide it-in fact, most of our classmates thought he loved the way people saw him. I'd thought it, too, and I'd known him better than any of them. He loved that they thought he was no good, a bad seed, someone to be afraid of. I hadn't done anything to convince them otherwise. I knew it would kill him if I destroyed his rep. It was all he'd had as a kid.

I'd stayed with him, though. Through thick and thin. Why? Because he was sexy, dangerous. He hadn't been wrong when he accused me of being turned on by the danger. It had been fun, and worlds away from anything I'd ever known in my sheltered world. I was a good girl, always doing the right thing. He was just what I needed. He shook me up, changed me, tapped into something which must have been there all along. The desire to get into a little trouble, to really "live," as I saw it.

Only he'd never let me get into trouble. He'd always done his best to protect me back then-all throughout our relationship, in fact. He'd kept me away from the danger. Until he couldn't anymore, of course. By then I was married. And pregnant.

I sighed quietly. How many nights had I spent dreaming about him? So many. More than I could possibly count. Every time, I imagined him coming back to me. Or that we had never parted at all, and that we lived happily ever after. When I would wake up, a sense of longing and sadness would invariably fill my heart. Dreams like that didn't come true, I'd tell myself.

My dream had come true-in a way. And what was I doing about it? Oh, right. I had locked myself in the bedroom. Smart move, Jess.

I got up, tiptoeing to the door and flipping the lock. My hand lingered on the knob. Should I? Shouldn't I? It felt the same as money burning a hole in my pocket, only it was my ex-husband burning a hole in my mind. Just knowing he was right next door was enough to drive me crazy.

If anything, I wanted to get a few things off my chest in order to get a decent night's sleep. With that as my excuse, I opened the door, then went to the next room and knocked softly.

"Yeah?" He didn't sound sleepy, not in the least. Was he awake, thinking about me the way I thought about him?

"Can I talk to you for a sec? I only have a couple of things to say."