𝙽𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝙴𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑

Twenty

Jess

By the time I finished telling the whole story, Tony's mouth hung open.

"Holy shit, Jess. Holy shit!" He held his head in his hands. "Why didn't you ever say anything? Why did you let him think you left him because you didn't love him anymore?"

"Because it was the only thing I could do." I had to make him see. "Honestly, do you think he would have let me go if I had told the truth? Do you think if I had stayed and told the truth, he wouldn't have gone after whoever it was on the phone? I didn't know who the Vipers tangled with in those days. I didn't have the slightest idea how to take care of it myself. So I left. I had to protect him. And I had to protect the baby, too."

"What if this guy had killed him after you left?"

"Tony, I told you, I wasn't thinking clearly. I was pregnant. I had just found out. I had to make a choice. Besides, at the time I thought, what if I'm gone? Whoever this is won't have anything to use against him anymore. I wouldn't be a pawn. Just something to hurt Grayson with. If I told him, he would have gotten himself killed along with me. There was no other way out of it."

Tony looked sick. "All this time. And it was okay with you, knowing how much he would hate you when you left?"

I nodded. "I had a lot of time to think it over, Tone. Years. I knew he hated me, but I knew he was better off without me if it meant he could stay alive. It sounds corny, but that's the only thought that's kept me going. Knowing that I did it for the right reasons. I had to protect the men I love." I shrugged.

"You have to tell him now. You've gotta."

"I've gotta do no such thing. I didn't tell you so you could guilt me into telling him. I told you because I thought you were my friend, and I had to get it off my chest. I wanted somebody besides me to know the whole truth. It's a lot to keep to myself, you know?"

"Great, now I have to keep it to myself. You know I was never good with secrets, Jess."

I smiled. "Try, okay? Discipline yourself a little bit." He made a face, and I giggled. Then I stopped, fear tugging at my heart. "Do you think he'll come back, whoever he is?"

Tony looked at me with a frown. "Who, this caller? I don't think so. Grayson doesn't have no enemies now. The club's free and clear. Axel's gone, all the bad blood is good. It's been a good three years."

"Just the same, I have to wonder if I'm not bad luck to him, somehow. If the person who called me all those times were watching me...what if they found out we got back together? Not saying we're back together right now or anything, but what if it happened? What if they wanted to hurt him, still, after all this time?"

"Then we're dealing with a pretty sick cookie. I can't imagine who would do something like that." He shrugged. I wanted to take his word for it. I wanted to so badly. I needed to hang on to some sort of hope that Grayson and I could be a family with our son.

"I don't know how much longer I should let David sleep," I said, glancing at the clock on the cable box. "It's almost three-thirty. He'll be up all night."

"And you don't want that, do ya?" Tony winked at me. I scowled.

"You still have a dirty mind, I see."

"And you still blush when you're embarrassed." I couldn't help but laugh. I hadn't laughed so much in one afternoon since I didn't know when. Being around Tony again had given me a huge boost. I believed I could be happy with Grayson again. I believed we could forgive each other for the past. I believed we could be a family.