𝙽𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝙴𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑

Fifteen

Grayson

I wanted to ask her if it felt as good to her as it had to me, but I didn't have the courage. It was enough to lie there with her in my arms.

"I don't even want to tell you how long it had been since I did that," she murmured. I heard her faint chuckle. Something inside me roared with pride, and I hoped the room was dark enough to hide my smile. She pushed herself up on one elbow, looking down at me. "I guess you didn't exactly take vows of celibacy while we were apart."

I snorted. "Not hardly."

"Mm-hmm. How many women?"

"None of your business."

"How many? I bet you can't even tell me. I bet you have no idea."

I sighed. She had a way of getting right under my skin and rooting around for my weak spots. "You're right. I don't know. Okay? A lot. Can we leave it at that?"

"A lot." She seemed to think it over. "Are we talking three digits?"

"Jess."

"Okay, okay. Sorry." She went silent. Her hand rested on my chest, and she traced random patterns with the tip of one fingernail.

"How many for you?"

"None of your business," she said, in a snotty tone.

"Come on. You asked me."

"Yeah, and you didn't give me a straight answer."

"So? Because I couldn't. You mean to tell me you can't even keep track of all the men you've been with since we were together?"

"No. I just don't feel like sharing, is all." I knew from the tone of her voice what the answer was.

"You mean you weren't with anybody? Not even a single person?"

"Damn it, Grayson." She sat up, wrapping her arms around her knees. Her back was bare, and even in the dim light I could see the way she shook. I put a hand on her skin, making her jerk away like I'd burned her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to piss you off. I was only playing around."

"Yes, well, some of us take things seriously. Like sleeping with somebody. That's something I take seriously. I don't sleep around."

I sighed. "I didn't think you did."

"But you do, right?"

"It's different for me. You know that."

She turned. "No, I don't know that. Enlighten me, please."

I forgot she hadn't been around. She didn't know what life was like for me. I sat up against the headboard. "Imagine it. I go around with the club. Everybody knows I'm with them, right? Everybody knows I'm president. We have parties, we have fun. There are women everywhere."

"So you can't control yourself," she snapped.

"Why the hell should I? I'm single, right? Divorced, but single. You left, Jess. And you know, before you did, you were the only woman I was ever with. Ever in my life. But if you thought I was gonna wait around for you, you were mistaken. If you chose to swear off men, that was your choice-just like it was your choice to leave. I don't walk around your life, telling you that you made bad choices. Don't do the same thing to me."

"You don't? So that's why you've done everything in your power to call me a bad mother after what's happened with the loan sharks?" She glared at me. Even in the near-darkness, I could tell she glared.