Despite All Obstacles Part IV

The Dark Woods (Continued)

BARBARA'S STORY

I run from the campfire and finally stop because I'm getting tired. I'm running outta breath from running. I'm really not a great runner.

I'm mostly hurt that nobody believed me. I swear I saw a bear behind Matt!

"Barbara? Barbara??" I hear Patt calling me. But wait. Doesn't he call me Gracie? I'm paranoid, again. I know Matt whether stay there while Patt babysits me. I drop my butt on the ground, hiding my paranoia that Patt claimed I have. I wanna cry but can't get myself to tear up. I was having so much fun.

"Barbara? Barbara?!" Patt comes closer to me. "Barbara." I feel him in front of me. I look up and see a blur, and then I see Patt, but differently. This can't be Matt.

I stand up. I see clearly, now. I think because it's dark out, his hair looks darker like Matt's.

"Patt, your hair's brown," I touch his hair. It's so soft.

"That's because I'm Matthew," he says. Oh, it's Matt! I immediately stop touching his hair.

"Oh. Sorry," I nervously tell Matt. Why can't Patt come save me? Is he mad at me? Is he alright?

"It's okay. I know you're expecting Patt."

"What happened to him?" Now, I'm worrying about the crew.

"I told him to stay put, and that I got you." Well, that's nice of you, Matt. Really.

"Oh. Thanks."

"No problem." He looks behind him. "So, what was that all about?"

"I swore I saw a bear behind you. I know I wasn't crazy," I complain to him.

"Barbara. You're not crazy. You may have scared the bear away, which could be why we didn't see it. It was trying not to be seen by people. You're all right."

"Yeah." I wanna believe him. But I have a question for him, not to be rude. "Why are you being nice to me? I thought you didn't like me."

"To be honest with you, I came over here for my little bro. He's the one who cares about you."

What's that supposed to mean? "What's your problem with me? What did I ever do to you?"

He looks at me confused. "I don't have a problem with you, Barbara. You're his friend. It's my job to look after my brother. He likes you. I don't have to like you to care, at least a little."

Okay, his brutal honesty is getting to me. I'm walking back, alone.

"Barbara, wait." I stop walking to hear what else he has to say, "I have a question that you should ask yourself."

I just face forward, not seeing the campfire in sight. He walks towards me, standing in front of me, facing me again.

"Do you love yourself?" He asks me. Why is he asking this if he doesn't like me or care about me?

"Yes, I do love myself." I smile through my lie. Mostly I smile when I lie.

"No, you don't, Barbara." Okay. Did he just catch me lying, or am I still paranoid? "I see the lies in your eyes. I sense the total opposite."

Now, he's scaring me. I shouldn't be. "I--I do," I stutter. He has that same judging smile he made when he first met me, sizing me up.

"Why don't you love yourself, Barbara?" He asks me, like the shrink who I have now. He knows I'm hiding something. I say it.

"Because I'm ugly and fat," I sadly admit.

"No, Barbara," he says. "I don't think you're ugly and fat. I think you're beautifully thick."