Heaven

Even in death, I'm almost dying

I stand in front of him for a couple of minutes with my mouth gaping open and stare. Yeah, it might be rude, but how would you react if you just saw your brother's doppelganger appear? He looks at me with so much affection it starts making me uncomfortable.
"Okay, Ca-" I cough, trying to cover up saying the wrong name.
"Augustus." I look around me for the effect and ask him where the hospital is because quite honestly, I'm lost. He shows me the way and we start walking in unison. The smell of flowers and the sound of water nearby relax me. I hadn't noticed the knot in my shoulders, but now I don't feel as tense. When I turn my attention to him again, he's still looking at me weird.
"Why do you look at me like that?" I ask him. His eyebrows shoot up in what I assume is surprise.

~Augustus' POV~

She looked so much like Hazel I stopped in my tracks, making her fall. I almost thought it was her, but I saw Hazel through the looking glass just minutes before, so I knew it was impossible. Tris' parents warned me that she'd look like Hazel and they cried when I arrived. Of course, they assumed I was Caleb as well, but when I corrected them, I also told them about the clone system with our worlds, making them understand.
I'm walking side by side her now and I know I can't be with her because it's wrong, but when she isn't talking and when she is just walking like she is now, I can imagine that she's Hazel and that she's with me again.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asks me and a huge wave of deja vu hits me. I'm back to the moment when we first met and tears form in my eyes. I stop walking and crouch on the ground.
"Hey, you OK?" She asks, concern obvious in her voice.
"I didn't mean to offend you." I stand up slowly, shake my head and get my act together.
"Sorry." I tell her. I keep walking and she follows me. She asks me what was wrong but I just ignore it. I'm usually not this rude but I can't take any more questions involving her. Ever since I got the news that Hazel would be joining me soon I have had this internal battle with myself. I'm happy that I get to see her, but I'm angry at myself for wanting to see her because I know that the only way that would be possible is if she joined me up here and I really don't want that. Inner conflict sucks. I pull out the cigarette pack from my back pocket and pull out a smoke. Tris has stopped asking questions, but now she is the one looking at me weird.
"Which one are you?" she questions. I'm confused by her words and turn to her.
"What?" I ask. She sighs loudly like I've just asked the most stupid question she has ever heard.
"Al told me there were different kinds of people with different kinds of things. Are you from the magic place, the district place or the disease place?" I laugh and she looks annoyed. The corners of my mouth turn up into a smile and I shake my head a little.
"You have so much to learn." I tell her.
After I showed her where the hospital was and I watched her walk in safely, I turned on my heels to go swimming. Ever since I got my leg back, I've been doing everything that had been difficult for me to do before. Riding a bike, running, playing football, swimming and a lot of other things. I haven't gone swimming yet since I've only been here for a couple of months and because the weather is so beautiful today I figured today would be perfect. When I reach the beach, there is another girl sitting there with her back to me. She has long black hair and a slender figure. I walk to where she is sitting and ask if I can sit next to her. She nods. As I sit down I notice the smoke in her hand. Mine is still in my mouth so I pull it out.
"I'm Augustus." I tell her and flash her my award-winning smile as I raise my hand. She looks a little hesitant but shakes it anyway.
"Alaska."
"What are you doing all alone on the beach, Alaska?" I ask her. She looks out on the horizon, almost searching for something. There is a sad look etched into her face and I feel the need to tuck her loose hair behind her ear. She looks down, thinking of what to answer me before looking back out on the sunset.
"I like the sound of waves, it's peaceful and quiet." she hints to me, smirking.
"I won't disturb you then. I'm just going out for a swim, you're welcome to join me if you want." I stand up and pull my shirt over my head. I'm already wearing swim shorts so I won't have to change in front of her.
I run to the ocean, meeting the waves half way, clenching my teeth together to keep them from shaking once I reach the water. I quickly look back and I see that she's smiling.
"Come on!" I scream at her.
She gets up and I dive into the water. I haven't gone swimming without feeling the weight of my prosthetic leg since I was thirteen and this is like a dream come true. I'm unaware that Alaska joined me and she pops out of the water, scaring me half to death. We laugh and I look back at our clothes. There are two packs of cigarettes on each of our piles of clothes, one almost torn to pieces due to me carrying it around everywhere for years, the other almost brand new.
"So, Alaska ..."
"Young." she finishes for me and I continue.
"So, Alaska Young. What's your story?" It's a pretty random question, but I've found that you can tell a lot about a person by asking simple questions that sometimes demands complicated answers.
She pulls in a short breath and quickly answer, not thinking twice. "I don't have a story," She laughs, but it's humorless. More sad than anything else. "At least not anymore."
Her expression turns seriously and I decide that it's best to just let it go.
I turn around to grab two cigarettes from my pack and offer her one. She takes it and thanks me with a mall nod. We're lying on our backs in the water, floating. I watch her looking up at the sky thinking. Alaska reaches behind her and digs through her clothes, searching for something. She pulls out a lighter and sits up, cupping her hand around the cigarette even though there is absolutely no wind. "Want a light?" She asks me when hers is lit up.
"No thanks, I don't light mine." Alaska looks at me with a confused expression on her face, knitting her brows together. "Why not?"
I've told people this so many times, but now it seems kind of stupid, considering where I am and the fact that I still do it. I think about lying to her or try to drop the subject, but like I've been told a million times by Andrew, (who I live with) I need to make new friends, because I have almost none.
"It's a metaphor," I begin. For some reason, I'm nervous and really scared of what she thinks of me. I shake my head lightly and continue. "You put the thing that does the killing right between your teeth, but you don't give it the power to kill you." I look down, feeling stupid for saying this now.
"Well, that's the difference between you and me," she starts and nudges me a little. "I smoked to die, you smoked to prove you wouldn't."
She suddenly jumps to her feet and claps her hands. She starts stripping off her clothes until she's standing there in a black bikini. "Sorry for being such a downer." Alaska apologizes and reaches out for me to take her hand. "Let's swim." She proposes and starts running further into the water. I follow suit and rush after her.
She dives into the water and resurrect within seconds. She giggles as she squirts water into my face, making me laugh.
I start splashing water at her and she dives down, into the blue ocean again. Since the water is so clear, I'm able to see her swim behind me, but for fun, I stay where I am, pretending to be oblivious to her mischief.
She jumps out of the water and onto my back. "Guess you didn't see that coming, huh?" She laughs, wrapping her legs around my waist. "Not at all." I mumble, smiling to myself. Just when her laugh quiets down, I do a pirouette and let myself fall into the water, with a shocked girl on my back not being able to escape. When we both return to the surface, her face is only inches apart from mine. She's still grinning and her glistening, green eyes are lit up with amusement.
She moves closer, and I can feel her breath on my lips. Just as she's leaning in, something snaps in her mind and she immediately backs away.
"Fuck, I'm sorry." Alaska swims away from me, toward the horizon, obviously embarrassed. I'm about to swim away, back to the beach to retrieve my clothes and give her some time, but a huge wave stops me and I dive beneath the water so I won't get caught, but when I look back to see if Alaska's okay, she is nowhere to be seen. I freak out and capture myself in the water to search for her. Even though I can't see anything clearly without any goggles, a big blur a couple of feet in front of me makes me swim as fast as I can. She's there and I pull her up. I carry her, princess style, toward the beach and lay her carefully down on the soft sand. There's no one on the beach that I can call for help so I have to try the little I know of CPR. I took a couple of lessons on it with my dad after I had just been diagnosed with cancer.
First I check her pulse and open her mouth, then I start pushing down on her chest. After doing that thirty times, I press my lips to hers and breathe, trying to ignore how soft her lips are.

"Come on, Alaska." I tell her, willing her to breath. I push down on her chest again, panicking. Finally, she coughs up some water and starts breathing normally.
"Jeez," she says "Even in death, I'm almost dying." she comments and I can't help but laugh. I sigh in relief and lay next to her for what seems like an eternity.

******

I know this chapter is also very short and it's probably not going to change, but I will try to update more often so hopefully you will be happy about that :) Hope you have a nice day and thank you for reading <3
Side note: I know absolutely nothing about CPR, so sorry if I got that completely wrong.

-R