Turn Your Face

Sober

A/N: Just wanted to thank each and every person for reading. These characters are such a pleasure to write for and I am so appreciative that you guys are all willing to read it.

This chapter is a hard Teen rating for cursing, verbal harassment, and drug abuse.

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Over the weeks since I found that prescription bottle, my life had both come together and entirely fallen apart. The anxiety surrounding my dad's death was down and in fact, I rarely even thought of him unless I focused intensely on the whole thing. But the anxiety surrounding my relationships, with friends and family and Alison, were on the decline. No, nothing had actually happened yet. No one had found me out, but I could feel myself declining. I could feel the foundation cracking. I could feel my foundation cracking.

My favorite activity of the week, other than spending every moment I could with my loving girlfriend, was always Sunday afternoon coffee with Hanna. It was an institution that lasted the entirety of our friendship. Even during college, we met up on Skype or FaceTime every Sunday at 2 (Chicago time) with coffee in our hands. Hanna was the only person who knew the full extent of my previous stint on pills, so I knew that I couldn't take as much as I had been to see her.

She was the one link to my past whose relationship had never changed. This was both a good thing and a bad thing because she could see past the bullshit. On most days was a good thing, but on a day like today, seeing past the bullshit was the last thing I needed her to do.

Sitting out front of The Brew, I pulled down the vanity mirror to double check my makeup. One of the side effects I wasn't planning, along with the frequency to wake up with night sweats, were deep bags under my eyes. I sighed knowing that the prescriptions I never used after my surgery were quickly running out. I had told myself that I would only use them as a temporary solution so that I didn't have to rely so heavily on Alison, but as the days continued on, I knew this solution would be anything but temporary.

It wasn't that I ever actually felt high, per se. Instead, they just allowed me to breathe lighter. I could go through my daily motions without having to fake it; the pills were faking it for me. But I knew I was betraying my girlfriend. I was abandoning her trust every time I reached for the screw off top. I closed my eyes knowing that I was hiding from Hanna, too.

My single deep breath was interrupted mid-inhale as Hanna ferociously knocked on my driver's side window, "What the hell are you prepping for in there, Em?" she screamed through the closed door.

"Damn, Han. I was just trying to release some stress." I stumbled over my words getting out of the car, rubbing my nose to distract from the lies pouring out of my mouth.

"Ooh, problems in paradise?" Hanna questioned over her shoulder as she opened the door for both of us.

I shook my head, trying to come up with a reason, "No, everything with Alison is fine. I just have a lot going through my head."

"Cool." Hanna nodded, unassured, "How about you go find us a seat? I'll grab us drinks and food! What do you want today?"

I waved my hand in her direction, "Don't worry about it. I'm really not hungry today. Must be the stress."

Walking toward the table, I noticed my hand subtlely beginning to shake, another side effect I hadn't anticipated. I placed my hands flat on the table, making eye contact with Hanna to give her a confident smile before reaching over to squeeze the pulse point between my thumb and pointer finger. It was the only help I had found for this reaction and tended to be my solution even when I felt my hand starting to tremble while holding Alison's. I had noticed the looks she had been giving me any time I pulled away, but her being pissed about me not holding her hand as much was better than her being pissed about another loved one taking painkillers.