Resentment

Dealing with pain

(Richard POV)

"Did you know Meredith was abused as a kid?" Bailey asked as Derek was loading Meredith into the ct while we were in the scan room. "She what?" I asked in shcok. Ellis wouldn't do that. "Yeah. She said thatcher hit her all the time before he left." Bailey replied. I looked at her in shock. "I'm sorry chief, I thought you may have known." Bailey said. "I didn't know." I replied. I held Meredith when she was under a week old. She was a very tiny baby, only weighing 5 pounds 3 ounces. Ellis came back to work after just a month, leaving baby Meredith all alone in daycare. I used to go in there all the time just to watch her. She was practically begging for someone to hold her.

"Scans are up." The radiologist said. Bailey and I looked at the scans, breathing a sigh of relief when we saw there wasn't any internal bleeding. "Her brain looks fine, just looks like a couple broken ribs." Bailey said. "How are they?" Derek asked as he walked in. "Everything looks good. Just a few broken ribs." I explained. He sighed in relief. "I had no idea. All the times she's apologized for doing clumsy things, or all the times she's stuttered over her words. I had no idea." Derek said. "I didn't know either. I held her when she was under a week old. Ellis didn't give a damn about her and thatcher didn't either." I replied. "Was she a good baby?" Derek asked out of the blue. "She was. She was very tiny, she could fit in the palm of my hand. She always wanted to be around either Ellis thatcher or myself. She used to run around this hospital all the time. She used to play hide and seek with the nurses." I replied, smiling at the memory. "How small was she?" Bailey asked. "I think she was a little over 5 pounds. She wasn't born prematurely or anything, just really small." I replied. Bailey nodded. "Well now we know why she's so small now." Derek said with a laugh. "Derek?" Meredith asked through the intercom. "I'm coming. Can I take her home?" Derek said. "Yes. No strenuous activity please. And I don't want to see her back here for at least another week." Bailey replied. He nodded.

(Derek POV)

The thought of Meredith as a baby just makes my insides flutter. Only 5 pounds though. I was 9 pounds. I was a big baby. I walk into the ct room and see Meredith sitting up on the bed. "Hi." She said. "Hey. Ready to go home?" I asked. She nodded and winced as she tried to get down. "Let me help you." I said. She nodded and I wrapped arms around her waist and gently lowered her down to the wheelchair. "Bailey filed a prescription for the pain. We just have to pick it up. Also she said no work for at least a week, and to limit the amount of strenuous activity due to your broken ribs." I informed. "Okay Dr Shepherd." She replied jokingly. I chuckled and wheeled her out to the car. I helped her get in and we drove off.

(Meredith POV)

When we got home, Derek made sure I was nice and comfortable on the couch. He ordered dinner for the both of us, and we sat down and watched movies all night. The first movie, Back to the Future, was all dereks choice, but he was happy with it. I attempted to lay down on the couch, my ribs not allowing me to. Instead, I just kicked my feet up on the couch next to me and buried my head into dereks chest. "I'm sorry he hit you Mer." He said quietly. "Me too." I said back. "What did he do to you when you were a kid?" He asked. I immediately tensed up, not wanting to talk about it. Noticing my discomfort, he tried to back track. "You don't have to tell me." He said. "No I probably should. He used to just slap me when I was probably about 2-3 years old. Then when I turned 5 he used to punch me or throw me into walls." I replied. "I'm so sorry Meredith. I just- you know I would never hurt you, right?" He asked. "I know that Derek." I said without an ounce of doubt in my voice. He nodded and kissed the top of my head.

(Derek POV)

That night, I fell asleep with the love of my life in my arms. She's been through so much, and I'm determined to make her really happy someday and make sure she feels loved.