Breanna Yde One Shots

The Voices

Sometimes all you need is peace and quiet... but sometimes your mind won't leave you alone

-foob cat

I decided to write this one shot because I used to suffer from severe depression. I am not saying this for attention, so please don't think I am, and please don't spam me with hate comments. I had 2 really great friends who helped and are still helping me through it. If you are going through someone and need some advice, or someone to talk or vent to, Please don't hesitate to message me. Please do not judge me because of my mental illness. If you would like to know more about it, fee free to message me. Also this is the one shot I'm talking told you about, also, xochild1 this is the one shot I'm talking about. Enjoy!

Tomika

Z: Hey, you alright? You seem a bit off.

Aww, he cares about me. I know, I sound like Summer right noww.

Yeah right. I bet he just pities you.

Stop! You're the cause of this!

How? I'm just stating the truth.

It's right though. He doesn't care about me. Nobody does. 

Z: Are you actually alright?

T: I'm fine. Hey, do you want to haang out later?

Z: No, sorry, I already have plans.

Ha, no one want's to be around you, loser.

I do my best to ignore it. I go home to my parents fighting.

M: YOU DON'T CONTRIBUTE AT ALL!

D: AT LEAST I DON'T GO AROUND SLEEPING WITH EVERYONE I SEE!

I head to my room. I'm not suicidal, just depressed. The voice is annoying. I can't help but listen to what it says.

You should do it. 

NO! IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO STOP!

Did you really want to stop though? Just one cut. You'll be fine.

Are you sure?

No. But you know you want to.

I do... just this once... no more.... So I do it. And I do it again.

Again, you want this. But do you ever think of how much of a failure you are? How fat you are, how dumb you are, and how much of a waste of life you are?

NO NO NO NO! NO! 

It's true and you know it.

I hated it. I hated how annoying it was. How distracting it was. And how true it was. I just wanted it to end. To be up there. In peace. Being happy. So I did it. One week, and I would be gone. One week, and everything would be over. One week to do everything I've ever wanted to do. So I started. I had 5 things on my list.

1. Skip school for a day to do something fun

2. Break into someones house and steal something.

3. Stay up to watch the sunset and sunrise

4. Give Zach a letter saying that I love him.

5. Be free.

The next day, I decided to skip school and go to the skate park. I spent the entire time skateboarding.

You're not good. You suck at this. Just kill yourself already.

I ignore the voice. I keep skating until school ends. I head home to my parents arguing, again.

M: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MADE HER!

D: I TOLD YOU TO GET A FUCKING ABORTION!

M: I DIDN'T WANT TO KILL A FUCKING BABY!

D: I DON'T FUCKING CARE! TOMIKA'S A MISTAKE! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING HEAD!

I... what? I'm a...

A mistake. See? Even your own parent's don't want you. Now go do something productive... like dying.

You know what? That actually sounds pretty good.

I don't bother doing anything else. I break into the school to leave a note. 

THE NOTE:

By the time you find this, I am already gone. I will have left this earth, and the voice will leave me alone. I will be somewhere where I am happy. I will not dedicate this note to anyone, but there will be a few people I have to say something to. To Zach, I love you. More than friends. But you probably don't love me back. To Summer, I will never forget you. Please, take my skateboard. It will forever be yours. I will never forget how you befriended me. I am sorry for lying to you about being fine. Lastly, to my parents, I apologize for being a burden. I apologize for being unwanted. 

I will still love you all.

Tomika

END OF NOTE

I put the note in my locker and rush out. I walk towards the bridge. I walk towards the railing. I climb over so that I'm sitting on it. I jump off. My last thoughts were:

I'm finally free

Third Person POV

Tomika's body was found the next day. Everyone was devastated, and her funeral was a week later. At her funeral, Zach talked about how much he loved her, and Summer shared merories of her. People started to realize how depressed she was, and after cleaning out her locker, Summer was devastated, and Zach slept at her grave, talking to her gravestone.