24/7 [Giyushino]

kill me, i love you

Giyuu is kind of proud in his ability to sense danger, that's how he has lived through these years of being with and constantly running into his psychotic acquaintances. Though he does wish to die, he much preferred a normal death. Not one that involves mallets, guns, katanas, scythes, butcher's knives, scissor blades, and of course the ever loved and cherished bazooka exclusive only for killing Sanemi Shinazugawa.

And so when he received this top secret classified information, he wondered why the hell didn't he listen to the defense mechanism inside of himself and just drowned in the bathtub?

He should have known that when he woke up under his bed (don't even ask him why he got there he was vibing with his sleep paralysis demon), when he wanted to make coffee but when he lifted the thermos it was light as fuck that he dropped his mug in pure sadness and stepped on the glass shards later on, when his salmon daikon spilled on the floor, when each and every one pair of his socks are missing, and he couldn't unlock his own goddamn door, he should have really known that something would make his already shitty day, much shittier. Or maybe the shittiest.

He has known karma for a little too long. It has always been such a bitch because as far as he knew he never done anything wrong (except taking the lives of a hundred criminals, which in his opinion has never been wrong) yet here he is, at the apex of his life when he would walk back on the path of social climbing, fitting in, avoiding scandals, and not getting bullied.

"Come again?" Giyuu asked again because at that short recapitulation of his life maybe his brain just didn't process the words correctly and it was the overly pessimistic part of him that was functioning, and Sabito had the audacity to repeat in very slow pacing and stopping at every syllable as if he was teaching a toddler how to read.

"I said you're going on an undercover mission as a high school student."

"No way in hell." Because really, no way in hell. There was no reason for him to fucking agree on this stupid fucking mission. Fuck it. No, fuck everything.

Why would he even go undercover as a student? What's the point of this really?

"Let me go over your mission again," Makomo smiled and it's Giyuu's first time seeing Makomo's smile look like a grin of the devil with its razor sharp teeth showing, he knows it all begins with that smile. That damn smile. This must originally be assigned to her but she emitted her angel aura and used that smile of hers to convince the higher-ups as well as Sabito to free her from this hell. Why did they even choose him to do this? From his past experiences and everything he learned from soap operas, high school is a battlefield. Surely you can escape trouble by just being by yourself and a wallflower, but who does that? Almost every teen doesn't want to be left out, soon they woul have a circle of friends or groups of their own. And everyone would just fall in every cliche category like nerds, cheerleaders, jocks, and every other category of the norm. Being on a highschool undercover mission means no enemies and bloodbaths? Bro, everyone is your enemy there and everybody is just spartan.

In short, highschool is all about your social status, flaunting whatever is on trend, and trying to fit in a crowd of people.

"So did you get what I said?" Makomo smiled, fuck that he didn't even hear anything.

She sighed from his lack of response and probably guessed he didn't learn jack-shit from her, "So our chief's son is getting himself into big trouble, they say he joined a yakuza faction and you need to make sure of his safety until he could graduate." He just nodded, he could always just refuse this anyway.

Until his brain finally started to process every information he just heard.

"UNTIL HE GRADUATES? YOU MEAN FOR A FULL YEAR?" He couldn't help but slam his palms on the table choke on his own spit cracked his voice like a woman when he shouted that.

Now the unimpressed deadpan eyes of those inside the office stare back at him, as he awkwardly sat back to his swivel chair and pressed his ass hard enough so he wishes it could swallow him whole.

"Now this might just be Sanemi affecting my top-notched brain but did I just hear Tomioka Giyuu scream?" Obanai asked his face screaming full mockery. Fuck it, this must be what happens when a woman smokes and drinks tequila when pregnant, the result is a baby who would soon grow up as an utter menace to everyone except Mitsuri Kanroji and would grow to raise snakes.

"All that Salmon Daikon shit has finally clogged your brain, Tomioka. You should get a checkup." He needs to thank Sanemi for that wonderful suggestion. Oh my god, why didn't he think of that? Obviously Salmon Daikon is not shit, and Giyuu would even think of Salmon Daikon therapy in case his brain did get clogged by the other's stupidity.

"Since we see that you're already in the act when your voice cracked like a Japanese school girl then this should really be the perfect mission ain't it?" Now this it what happens when the father had interplanetary sex with aliens, a human looking specie that only knows how to bark.

"Uzui-san, I'll tell the chief that you're hitting on his daughter."

"FUCK! DON'T! HE'S GONNA KILL ME I TELL YA'!" Giyuu covered his ears as Uzui kept talking. Arf, arf, arf. Right, he thinks he'll go home for now.

It was mid-day when he got back to his apartment. It was a hot day with very little clouds to block the heat, and when he went inside he was surprised to see Makomo and Sabito break the window, enter inside as they dusted their clothes, sat comfortably on the sofa and looked for the remote for a good 3 minutes while he just stood their completely dumbfounded.

"Ah, welcome home Giyuu, can you get the ice cream on the freezer please?" Sabito called out, and Giyuu too tired of everyone's shit even though its just the middle of the day and he felt like he already got through all the pained stages of life.

"Why is there fish in the supposedly ice cream container?" He called back, "Ah, it can't be helped. We got the wrong house then. Bye!" And just like that they left using the broken window. What were they even doing there? This is the fifth floor goddamnit!

Nothing is gonna surprise him anymore. He has absolute trust that when misfortune rained on this planet he was in heaven sharing his, or he swam in it flood. He has absolute faith that what happened today is the whole shit the universe could give him. And so he's taking a walk in the park hoping that when he returns home the window would be magically fixed.

That was what he put his faith in but as a sharp object made contact with his flesh he groaned in pain. He was stabbed!

His aggressor looked at him, but his vision was already failing, and his legs would soon give up to.

"Ah, sorry wrong person."

What the fuck?

"Ah, it's you Tomioka-san. Though you're not my target, I guess your not the wrong person either."

Fucking hell. Good job fucking karma, fate, destiny or whatever the fuck. Good job karma, fuck you very much.

He knows fuck is already an overused word. But let him just say it in his head.

Fuck you karma, you're such a bitch.

A/N: I don't know why I wrote this but, YES. Would probably also become multi-chaptered when I feel like it. I dunno man. Prequel to my other story 'Today is the Day's. I guess???