24/7 [Giyushino]

die pretty please

It was absolutely amazing how he was stabbed as a wrong person. Just how much bad luck did he accumulated over the course of his life? And what's more fucking fantastic is that he would still be doing the mission.

His life is going downhill and he's not even getting paid enough for this. Sabito only shrugged him off, saying his life was meant to be crappy when he was born. Handsome people has a lot of problems, he said. Like himself, he said. That made it even more unbelievable. Makomo tried her best to be optimistic.

"No bloodbaths and death!" She smiled sweetly.

"Period and hormonal teens." Giyuu deadpanned. Because he much preferred striking down criminals rather than deal with women.

"Beautiful high school girls!" She grinned.

"I try to see them as potatoes to lower my anxiety, and besides, it's illegal." If this is the best argument Makomo can give him then this really is the mission of absolute hell.

"Thigh high socks!" She was really trying to be optimistic about this whole ordeal.

"Absolutely not, and as I've told you it's illegal."

"You're still gonna do this mission so just be optimistic for the meantime! Smile!"

Giyuu tried his best to lift his mouth upwards, but he's still going to babysit a snotty-nosed brat until he graduates but still be an utter menace to society. Another part he didn't sign up for when joing the police force is guarding random people that has a random connection with the president or some random high ranked politician, their aunt's son or a stranger that he has to risk his life for.

"Okay."

He knows he's absolutely bad at feelings. Dealing with them or rather expressing them, or maybe both. And he likes to think he just has none. But the anger boiling in the pit of his stomach almost wanting to explode to his mouth and scream obscenities at the sky proves he really has them. Feelings that is, feeling of resentment, grudge, bitterness, and irritation. Or for the lack of a better word, the feeling of want to kill Shinobu Kochou, tie her corpse in a police car and parade all throughout the cities they've been just to show to everyone how okay he is about this.

Why Shinobu Kochou? Just because.

She has everything to do with this and he knew the fated moment she jumped from the gate of their office and used his face as a stepping stone to jump again to the second floor, he knew she was created for the purpose of irritating the hell out of him and only him. It seems she has finally moved on from her sister complex using be-nice-to-sanemi-or-hold-a-dog therapy, and now thinks that her absolute goal and purpose in life is to endanger the future Tomioka species by trying to end his life here and now.

She's the face of true evil that is a threat to world peace and good hearted police men such as him. Part human and part alien (at the rate of her big brain pranks it's very possible) that didn't inherit Mitsuri or Kanae's ladylike behavior and kindness even by close proximity. She has just this sheer will to become a threat to all of humanity.

"This is the first time I sensed you being unable to control your bloodlust," Sabito smirked definitely enjoying him suffer, Giyuu wondered why he has friends who are so damn sadistic and where the hell is the future of their country if they're police officers, "But even if you kill the whole police force, though it's a hundred percent impossible, you would still be doing this mission."

Giyuu didn't bother to reply, it's always shitty with them.

He's not an idiot and he's certainly not naive either, but there's a reason why he's friends with them though there are countless possibilities that exist. It's a wonder why he even has friends anyway. Or does he?

"No matter, we were just called to report at the headquarters." Makomo stated, turning her head to look at them before jumping off from her cross-legged position on the table.

It was no question or the whole fandom knows that Mitsuri's braid could literally slap someone, Uzui probably has two more wives, Sanemi is a huge tsundere, or Tanjiro is actually everyone's big brother, but common theories often become facts with no evidence.

Sometimes Giyuu wonders if all of that is true, but that's all he does. He only wonders. Because anyone can only wonder why Muzan is their commander.

Said Muzan is currently sitting before the three of them, looking like a mafia boss than he is a police. His eyes cast over by shadows, and his chin placed under both of his hands, his blood red irises glowing similar to that of a demon's.

"So you all know that we are tasked to protect the citizens and government officials as the Public Officer for Legal Investigation and Criminal-," He halted, "Suck it up that's too long,"

Muzan looked at them raising a gun with his hand, giving them a glare that sent shivers down their spine,

"Just call us the mafia."

"THIS IS NO TIME FOR PLAYING AROUND! DUMB OLD MAN!" The three of them screamed, yes including Giyuu himself ofcourse. Because the part of his brain that controls his emotions cannot handle too much stupidity at once that it failed to suppress his irritation.

"You just called your superior a dumb old man didn't you?"

"No." They all shook their heads furiously like those toys that bob their head.

"Isn't that a form of Insubordination?"

"No, sir." They still shook their heads, blatantly lying, you know, like a liar. Yes.

"Revolt is the right word for it isn't? A rise in rebellion."

'It's not rebellion you overreacting piece of shit!' They screamed in their heads.

"No, your very great and amazing definitely not dumb Muzan, sir!"

"Maximum punishment is shooting."

Oh shit.

"In the count of 3," He pointed his gun at them.

"1-"

BOOM.

"THAT WASN'T EVEN THREE YOU BASTARD!" They shrieked as they scrambled to get away from the goddamn bullet, barely escaping for their lives.

"Now if you just sit back, you don't really know manners do you? We were still talking about the mission and yet you want to leave."

Oh gods please help him. He really wants to rip Muzan's head of.

"Yes." Because that's the only malice-free sentence- or word whatever, that they can think of.

Now they were sitting obediently like puppies.

"Well then, we'll go further as planned, Tomioka you will go undercover and make sure that the president's great grandmother's daughter that is his aunt but has a connection with the great great grandmother that is the mother and his child, doesn't get himself further involved with the mafia."

BOOM.

"WHY DID YOU SHOOT US NOW?!"

"I just felt like it."

Giyuu is not a saint, he has cut down criminals, his hands are stained. But he's pretty sure he'd be doing the world a favor if he shot Muzan now, maybe he'd even shoot Shinobu just for the hell of it. But he does none of that, because no matter what Muzan is their money bag. They've got to at least get all of his savings before shooting him and dumping his body near an alley.

Maybe he'll do that once he finishes his salmon daikon therapy.

A/N: Yey, another story that I won't be able to finish! Wohoo, grape. Okay, hear me out, I know this is lacking giyushino interactions, but trust me it's for the sake of the plot. Even if I still don't know what plot. But I don't want pointless fluff, so- s l o w b u r n. Thanks for reading my nonsense, as always.