Mistakes [ dreamnotfound AU ]

Chapter 9: Comfort

Georges POV:

I woke up in my bed, wrapped tightly around my blanket and my head resting on my soft pillow. The first thing I noticed is that there wasn't anyone holding me.I immediately sit up and take a look around. I just see the same bland room, but cleaner than the day before. I guess Dream cleaned it for me. I should thank him later. But I stretch and get out of bed. But there's one thing that doesn't feel right. I can't quite put my finger on it, until I look up. My arms don't have the sleeves of the sweater I had on yesterday. And my chest is bare. Dream took off my sweater. Holy shit. My ribs are visible, and my boney arms don't do me justice either. Dream saw me. Jesus fucking Christ. Starting off the day with this. Fucking hell.

I get out of bed and scramble to put on a sweater from my closest. I know no one is looking but I still feel the need to be clothed. I throw on a bulky sweater and leave my room, to the smell of pancakes. You gotta be kidding me.

Most people would find that smell pleasant and welcoming. But I for sure do not. It's like an alarm going off on my head to go back into my room. That is until Dream calls out my name. I groggily head to the kitchen and give him a forced smile. He gives a soft smile back before saying,

"Don't worry this is for me. You can pick what you'd want."

I noticed that dream had gone shopping for proper food. Not my regular low calorie food that I get on repeat. The fridge was actually full. For probably the first time ever since moving into this apartment.

"Uhh.. what do I get to choose from?"

"Whatever you want, just look in the fridge or the cabinets."

Oh shit. The cabinets. I quickly turned my head to see that the paper was gone. My paper is gone. Dream pays no mind to my obvious panic flowing through me. I try and act normal but on the inside I am breaking down completely.

It really hit me that dream know entirely knows my secrets. The part of me that I've tried to hide the whole time it's been with me. I'm not sure if he's going to try and fix me, but my eating disorder feels like a part of me. I just can't be "fixed". But I do like dream a lot, so maybe I can try while he's here? Whatever, for now I got to pick someone to eat. It just felt gross thinking of that.

I opened up the fridge and bent down a little to look at the contents inside. I was really fucking hungry. Maybe just for while dreams here I can eat?

"Uhh.. maybe a smoothie?"

Maybe drinking will be easier than eating.

"Alright, do you have a blender? And you can take out what you want in your smoothie if you'd like."

"Yeah uh, the blender is under the cabinet next to the sink."

I started to get out strawberries, blueberries and almond milk. While Dream got down to get the blender. He then walks near me to take the ingredients from me,

"I can make it you know, you don't have to."

"I know. I just want to."

He gives me a soft smile. A light blush washes over my face. He then turns to the blender and starts to put in the ingredients. I try and pretend that I'm fine with him doing that, but I really want him to stop. I don't want to make him stressed out because of me so I go to the bathroom, and locked it.

I rest my palms onto the edge of the counter, and look at myself in the mirror. Was I really ready to do this? No. Definitely not. But I shouldn't be worried. It's stupid that I'm this worried. I have no reason to be worried. God dream probably thinks I'm so weird for not eating. It's so fucking easy, then why can't I do it?

I slam my hands onto the counter before leaning against the wall and sliding down it with my hands in my head. Before I knew it I was full on sobbing. I couldn't handle this. I was buried deep into my thoughts before I heard the handle being jiggled back and forth. My heart starts to race. Goddamn it George. You were supposed to not make him stressed. Look at you. You're pathetic.

"Hey George, you in there?"

I couldn't answer. I didn't want to. I just wanted to stay in here and rot away. All I could do is sniffle. It was silent until dream said,

"George are you ok in there?"

No I wasn't. No I fucking wasn't. Him saying that made me start to tear up a little. Until bursting out in tears. A mess of a person, I was. Dream knocked on the door a couple times. I decided to unlock it. He walked in and sat next to me. I looked up at him, but his eyes were focused up at the mirror above us. He didn't break eye contact and started to tear up. I quickly got on my knees to match up with his height,

"What's wrong? Did I make you sad? I- I really didn't mean to. I know I can be a hassle and I'm sorry you have to deal with me I just-"

I was cut off by dreams arms being wrapped around me. Just like the night before. It caught me off guard a little before wrapping my arms around his neck while his were around my waist. My legs were then wrapped around his torso while we both cried.

"I just- George, why'd you say nothing to us? You know we'd do anything for you right?"

"I.. I don't know. It feels like I can't say anything. I want to get better, I really do. It's just really hard."

Dream didn't say anything back. He just rubbed my back and gave a small hum. He then began to stroke my hair with his warm hand. We pulled away a bit before smiling at each other.

"I don't know if you're ready, but if you want to you're entirely welcome to wash up and come down to the kitchen with me."

I nod a little and get off of him. Dream gets up and walks out of the bathroom. I can try. At least for him for now. I splash water on my face and walk out of the bathroom to head to the kitchen.

I can try.