His Lifeline

Chapter 26: Nostalgic Lullabies

It's not like I didn't believe in the afterlife, but honestly, I don't think I was supposed to feel this real, or in pain, or dazed. I tried to open my eyes, but they wouldn't budge.

Ok, God games' over, let me open my eyes.

Nothing happened, I tried moving, nothing really happened. Or maybe something did, I don't know. I feel so disconnected. I struggled. I heard something above me. I wasn't sure what it was or what was happening. Wasn't I dead?

I groaned. Wait, I did something, yes! Small victories.

There was a shuffling around my bed, and I lifted my eyelids just a fraction to see white. No, please don't tell me heaven or hell is white, just like the fucking hospital. Learn to paint with a different color seriously!

I managed to blink my eyes, slowly opening them. Yes! Alright, let's go! Wait.

What was Annabeth doing here? And Mom? And Rachel? Were those doctors? I tried moving my arms, but they wouldn't listen.

I opened my mouth and felt my throat clog up. I looked at the people in the room. The doctor and nurse were talking to Annabeth and Rachel while Mom held my hand. I couldn't move my head, so I just watched them out of the corner of my eye.

I couldn't talk, I couldn't do anything. All I could do was watch as Annabeth and Rachel cried into each other's shoulders as the doctor and nurse left the room. I saw my mom squeeze my hand, though I didn't feel it.

I closed my eyes. Maybe more sleep will help me wake up. Oh, the irony.

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I blinked awake. Yes! My eyes work.

I moved my legs, and they complied. Experimentally I sat up. Everything was responding, thank gods!

But then I realized.

I had tried to kill myself. Tried. Since now, I'm looking at the shocked faces of Annabeth, Rachel, and my mom. I know they aren't dead. So that means I must've survived.

"You motherfucker! What the fuck were you thinking?" Rachel looked at me, angrily. I swear her red hair seemed to rise as she snarled. I shifted and put my back flat against the wall. I didn't know what to do. I didn't expect to actually survive. Then I felt arms around me, and I looked down, getting a face full of bushy red hair.

"You jackass! We were terrified. I can't believe you would do something like that!" she mumbled into my chest as she squeezed me tighter. I winced, and she let go. I looked away and tried raising my right arm. I saw that it was bandaged and hurt more than hell to move, so I went with my left. I rubbed the back of my neck, wincing as my forearm moved. I looked down at the blankets, ashamed and guilt-ridden.

This is why I wanted to go. I didn't want to deal with the heartbreak and the guilt and the sadness and the pity. I felt a touch at the bottom of my chin, making me look up. I let whoever it was move my face up but kept my eyes downward.

Then I felt a burning sensation on my cheek as my head snapped to the side. It took a second for me to register that Annabeth had slapped me. I met her gray eyes that were pooling with tears. I felt my breath hitch as I saw the heartbroken look on her face. I tried reaching out, but my arms screamed in pain. I still couldn't choke out any words, so I just looked at her with guilt. She shook her head, huffing, and said softly, "I'm glad you're ok, Percy," before quietly leaving.

That was the second time Annabeth had left. It was worse than the first time. But seeing her embrace the dislike for me and allowing me to cut her off made me gulp down the sob I knew was coming. I slowly brought my left hand up, feeling it scream in pain as I put a curled finger in my mouth, biting it hard.