Trials & Tribulations

Chapter 28. "Fuck off Chris."

"Camz," Lauren said, taking her girlfriend's hand in her own across the table. They were sat together in the cafeteria at lunch the following Tuesday and Lauren watched as Camila ignored her lunch to stare across the room at Dinah who was sat with Ally and Normani. "This is getting ridiculous," Lauren noted. "It's been almost a week and you've still not made up with Dinah...I thought that you'd decided to talk to her."

"I did," Camila confirmed, averting her eyes back to Lauren who was watching her puzzled.

"So..." Lauren prompted confused, "what happened?"

"I happened," Camila said in response and Lauren visibly saw the irritation etched across her face as she spoke.

"I don't understand," Lauren admitted frowning.

"Ever since I'd discussed it with you and my therapist last week I've been planning to talk to her," Camila explained. "It's just that, every time I've tried, I can't..."

"Camz I know you're nervous about how she'll react but I promise you, Dinah will be fine," Lauren reassured her. "You'll be back to mocking each other in no time, you'll..."

"No," Camila interrupted in order to clarify. "I mean, I physically can't."

"Oh," Lauren replied finally understanding. "I see..." she said, not sure what else to say. Camila groaned as she ran her free hand through her hair and looked back over at Dinah.

"I tried to say 'hello' to her in the hallway yesterday," Camila admitted as she turned back to face Lauren who was still watching her with interest. "All that came out was a few strangled noises," Camila explained. "I probably sounded deranged."

"What did she say?" Lauren asked, not for one moment believing that Dinah wouldn't have tried to capitalize on Camila's sudden attempt to communicate with her after a prolonged period of estrangement.

"She said 'hi,'" Camila shared her cheeks flushing slightly in embarrassment at the recollection of yesterday's interaction. "Then she asked me how I'd been and if I was doing better."

"Camz please tell me you answered her," Lauren pleaded, tilting her head in order to try
and read Camila's face as her girlfriend dropped her gaze to the table and covered her eyes with her free hand.

"I couldn't," Camila replied avoiding Lauren's searching look. Camila shook her
head slightly from side to side mortified by the memory. "I just stared at her for a minute and then when I tried to speak, nothing would come out," Camila told Lauren. "Nothing, not one word. Not a single sound." Lauren made a sympathetic face and squeezed Camila's hand prompting her to continue with the story.

When Camila didn't, Lauren asked, "What happened next?" "She asked me if I was alright," Camila finally said, lifting her eyes to meet Lauren's again.

"I think she thought I was about to have a seizure or something," Camila went on thoughtfully. "I couldn't speak or do anything so I...I walked off..." Camila finished evidently frustrated with herself. "Camz," Lauren said with a mixture of understanding and disappointment in her voice at Camila's admission.

"You've been doing incredibly over the last week," Lauren told her seriously.

"I know," Camila agreed and Lauren smiled at the words, pleased that she was starting to acknowledge her own achievements, the small victories that she'd won. "I really think that increasing my therapy sessions to twice a week has made a difference," Camila went on.

"I think the doctor increasing the dose of your antidepressants has helped as well," Lauren noted. "I know that you weren't keen when they suggested it..." Lauren recollected.