//dear leo// barsandmelody︱au︱

VICES

If it's not drugs, its drinks
 If it's not drinks, its things
 If it's not things, its people,
 places i don't want to be 
Mothica - VICES
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/charlie/

"I'm going out!" I yelled, taking the steps two by two - I was already epically late and Leo was many wonderful things, but patient wasn't among them. He seemed to be particularly irked off by my inability to show up on time.

"Where are you heading, all dressed up?" I hadn't even seen mum as she appeared from the hallway that connected to the kitchen. The sudden question almost made me jump out of my skin and as I pulled my sneakers on, I took deep breaths in an effort to calm my rapid heartbeat.

"Jesus Christ, you scared me." the knowing grin on her face widened and a small voice in the back of my mind told me that she had done that on purpose.

"So, you've got a date?"

"What?! No!" as a matter of fact, it was a date. With Leo. And I couldn't exactly tell her that. Despite him being semi-comfortable with us going out in public, the thought alone of meeting my parents tended to send him into a state of blind panic. So I didn't push for it, even though it would make my life ten ways easier.

"Mhm. You're a crap liar." she stepped forward and picked off invisible lint from my shoulder before smoothing her hands down my arms. Mum wasn't short, nor incredibly tall - she's the perfect size, not here nor there - as my dad always said, but I easily towered over her.

"When can I meet him?" the warmth in her deep brown eyes was still there and I flinched.

"Him?! W-What do you mean him?" panic surged through my veins and my eyes went to the living room, searching for my dad. But the room was blessedly empty.

"Charlie, love, calm down." her hands moved from my arms to my rapidly rising and falling chest. I wanted to tell them - and it wasn't like I was ashamed of my relationship with Leo, but if this was a test run for the real deal, I was failing miserably.

Suddenly, I was glad that Leo stopped me all those months ago.

"Charlie, hey, look at me." she gently turned my head and I was face to face with her once again. All of a sudden, tears blurred my vision and I was unable to focus on her soft features.

"Oh no, honey, no no - don't cry. It's okay." defying the laws of physics, she pulled me into a tight hug that made me feel like I was five years old all over again.

"I'm sorry. Please don't hate me. I'm sorry." there wasn't much else I could tell her. My earlier confidence evaporated and a thousand thoughts ran through my head. Are they mad? Will they hate me now? Are they gonna kick me out? I knew my father and his stance on 'those damn, parading queers'. They were traditional people and while Leo's mum had absolutely no problem with us dating, I doubted the same nonchalance could be found in my parents.

"Charlie!" mum's stern voice snapped me out of my funk and I had to blink a couple of times before her face sharpened and came into focus. On it, I couldn't see any anger that I had been expecting, only worry.

"I love you. You are my son. Nothing will ever change that and nothing will ever make me stop loving you."

It was like an invisible weight had been lifted off of my chest. She didn't hate me. But dad? Just as I was about to open my mouth and ask her, she shook her head.

"I know your father had some choice words for, er them, in the past, but I found that it hits a little different when it's someone you know and love." she cupped my face and awarded me with a warm, wide smile before continuing "And he loves you, Charlie. There is nothing in this world he wouldn't do for you. So you don't have to fear how he'll react. We've known for months now, but neither one of us wanted to say anything; not until you came to us first."

Her words calmed me and the panic started to ebb away. They know. They don't hate me.

"But I still want to meet him."

*

The first time I came face to face with my dad, all the anxiety I've been feeling hit me like a ton of bricks. The fear and apprehension crept in the depths of my mind and I didn't know what to expect.

"I love you kiddo." that was the last thing I expected, but as he wrapped his arms around me, I returned his hug and sobbed into his shoulder.

I had told Leo about the encounter with my mum and quietly observed as his face paled until he was white as a sheet of paper.

"They want to meet you." I told him a couple of days later, while we were packing up my room. Tomorrow, I would be leaving for uni and my room looked like a hurricane swept through it. The walls were bare and stripped of the posters and pictures that were usually hung there and the sight of it filled me with a deep sadness that I couldn't explain.

"What?" Leo froze with a pair of ancient sweatpants in his arms and looked at me with wide eyes.

"They want to meet you. I told them I'd talk to you about it. Maybe we could grab some dinner next weekend, when I get back."

For Leo's sake - and my mum's - I made a promise that I would drive down every weekend. A task I wasn't particularly looking forward, but it would be worth it to see everyone, even if it's just for a few days.

"I-I don't know. I guess."

That was all he said of it, but I figured that the dinner itself wouldn't happen for a while.

The first weekend I got back, Leo was sick. Like, running a fever, coughing and sneezing like mad sick. So most of our time was spent just lying in his bed and talking about the first week of school.

There was a new transfer; a girl by the name of Zoe. She and Leo seemed to get along like a house on fire and I was glad that he had someone to hang out with while I was away. The idea of him being all by himself didn't sit too well with me, so Zoe's arrival came as a blessing. The next weekend however, he distracted me by pointing out we haven't seen each other properly for over two weeks and that's all that I needed to hear.

We ended up a mess of limbs and kisses on his bed and all plans of dinner left my mind.

"You ready for tomorrow?" I spoke into the phone as I stirred the soup that was slowly boiling on the stove. Tomorrow morning, I was going home and I was more then ready for a nice, long weekend.

"Yeah, I guess. I might go out with Zoe and Josh tonight. There's a party." Leo's voice came from the other side of the line and I sighed.

"Leo, it's Thursday." it wasn't the fact that he was going out that was bothering me, but who he was going out with. Zoe seemed nice and Leo even introduced us the last time I was home, but Josh - yeah, I didn't like him much. I wasn't jealous. Josh was very straight and Leo was very gay, so that didn't bother me - Josh was a bad influence on both Zoe and Leo. His idea of a good time was getting shit-faced and high as a kite.

"And tomorrow is Friday. I know how to tell the days of the week Charlie." there was a short pause and I didn't miss the slight tone of annoyance in his voice "But there's also no school tomorrow."

Leo was fully aware of the dislike I harbored against Josh, but most of the time, he said nothing about it.

"Whatever, just don't do anything stupid." I murmured and we said our good-byes.

It's been months since the last time Leo intentionally hurt himself, but still, the fear never really left any of us around him. But, with the risk of jinxing it, his therapy seemed to be working and he seemed to be getting better.

I just hoped it wasn't wishful thinking on our part and an epic show on his - I hoped he was actually getting better.

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so, things are about to get nuts. double update, cuz i suck. next chapt is a massive TW, so proceed with caution.