Perfect Eve

44

I felt like I couldn't breathe, couldn't speak, couldn't hear anything.

Blinking back the tears that were threatening to come out, I tried to speak.

"Noel? What happened?" My voice came out more like a whisper as I felt every bit of energy leaving my body.

"Mommy hit him, Ivy." Theo sniffled with a pout, starting to sob and I  tried hard to stop my tears. I can't cry in front of them.

I hate her. I hate the woman who was once our mother.

I pulled Theo closer, wrapping an arm around him as I cupped Noel's cheek.
"Where was Maria?"

"She didn't come today. And then, mom came. She was angry and started searching for something. She shouted a lot and broke a lot of things. We were scared, we called you." He said, tears rolling down his reddened cheek.

Oh no! It's all my fault.

"I... I lost my," I tried to tell him but couldn't complete it.

How dare she hurt them? Her own kids!

"I'm so sorry," I said with a trembling voice as I hugged them closely. "So sorry,"

"She threw Theo's toys and he ran to pick them up. It made her mad and she tried to hit him." Noel started sobbing.

"He saved me, Ivy. He stood in front of me like a superhero." Theo smiled first, mentioning how he was saved by his own hero and then stuck his lower lip out with a sob, "But mommy hit him instead."

"I'm sorry Ivy, I tried, but mom pushed me." Noel said and I couldn't speak anything.

He's sorry because he couldn't protect Theo from our mother's wrath? It's me who should say sorry, it's me who had to protect them!

"No, Noel. Don't. It's all me, you called me and I didn't..." My voice was no longer steady.

I was joking and laughing while they were crying, wasn't I?

"What happened to your hand?" I asked, touching his knuckles. It looked like he punched someone.

"She threw a lamp which came in our direction and I tried to block it. But it landed on my fist." He shrugged, wiping tears on his sleeve.

"Why did mommy hit us?" Theo asked.

Because she's a self-centred, disgusting alcoholic, who doesn't give a shit about her little kids.

"Because mommy is a mean person. She doesn't care about us." I wiped my face before either of them could look up.

"But the teacher said mommies love us."

What am I supposed to say?

"Did you do anything to your knuckles? Ice?" I asked and Noel shook his head.

"Come on, let's get this." I sat down with them and looked at what she did. She slapped my Noel, threw Theo aside and broke a whole lot of things.

She hurt them. This time, physically.

Theo didn't stop sobbing. I assured Noel that it wasn't his fault.

Because it was mine.

"You are some strong superheroes, right? You won't get hurt easily, it's just a tiny one." I gave them a fake smile. I'll lose it anytime and I sure don't want them to see me cry.

I remember the first time she came home drunk. I was crying and Noel came to me, sobbing. He asked me not to cry. He said he can't take it, said it's more hurting to see mom ignoring and me crying. He was only seven at the time.