The Happiness Trilogy - Kakashi X Reader

Our happiness

"Kami, hear my prayer... Don't take him away from me!"

When I woke up the only thing I could think about was Kakashi. His coughing, the blood that traveled through his mask and onto his hands and chest as he desperately fought for air.

His warm arms around me as he pulled me from the stairs and held me tightly. The cold of the snow and the pain in my feet from going up and down the stairs without shoes. The tears that had fallen from his eyes as he kept repeating how sorry he was for everything. It all made my heart clench in a useless attempt to keep the broken pieces close to the center.

My own eyes started to tear at the memory of it all. I was about to lose Kakashi and there wasn't anything I could do to. I felt so useless, so small in a world full of darkness.

"You're awake."

I pushed myself up in a sitting position and Kakashi quickly placed down the plate with food he was carrying. He hurried over to me and pulled me on his lap, his arms enveloping me in a tight embrace. "Never do that again Y/n. I can't worry about you like that," he whispered against my shoulder. "What good are you bedridden?"

"Kakashi..." I cupped his cheeks, forcing him to look at me. "You can't leave me and expect me to accept that. I love you."

"I am dying!" Kakashi suddenly yelled as he grabbed my arms, resulting in me releasing his cheeks. "Don't you think I'm struggling? I am dying. I am scared. Scared to die, scared to leave you. Scared of what the world is becoming and in what kind of mess I'm leaving you! I can't protect you anymore!"

His hands traveled over my arms until he was cupping my cheeks. "I am so scared... I don't want to leave you..."

"I'm scared to Kakashi," I whispered as I leaned in. Kakashi leaned back but I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him towards me. "But I'm more scared to not be with you anymore. You can't just shut me out."

"I don't want you to get si-"

Before Kakashi could finish those words, I had pulled down his mask and placed my lips on his. If he would perish, I would follow him. If his time was now, my time would be over as well. My life couldn't continue without him so let me get sick, let me feel the same burden and pain as he was feeling.

My hands tugged on silver strands as Kakashi's large hands held my waist. He tried to move away from me but whenever he moved back, I followed. My lips were glued to his, never to release them until I really couldn't continue anymore.

"Y/n..."

I placed my fingers over his lips. successfully silencing him. "I don't want to hear it Kakashi."

"I don't want this for you." Kakashi let out a deep sigh but pulled me closer to him as he laid down. With my cheek on his chest and his hand slowly caressing my hair, I finally started to relax a bit. The sun drifted into the room by the open sliding doors and the faint scent of plum blossoms followed suit. "Where are we Kakashi?"

"A solarium near Yugagakure," Kakashi answered as he stared up at the ceiling. "It's said that loads of sun help delay the decease." He turned his head to look at me, his eyes slowly showing the warmth they once had again. "I will remain here and if the war starts, I will fight for as long as I can."

"You can't Kakashi. It will shorten your time. I can't lose you!"

"Y/n..." Kakashi said as he let out a heavy sigh. He turned on his side, staring into my eyes with his miss-matches ones. "You will lose me. There is nothing we can do about that..."

"I refuse to accept that!" I jumped to my feet but Kakashi quickly followed suit and picked me up. I was amazed by him until he looked at my feet. "You shouldn't walk Y/n. Your feet are all red and swollen," he said flatly.