I'll cry if that is what you want . I'll kill myself if that is what you need . But please.............. let me be ! ~lili
lili a 14 years old girl who lost her whole world to the God's . she thinks it's a dream ...No a nightmare , opens her eyes b...
I hope you like it Guys please vote and comment, I feel like nobody is readying my stories and plus the one's that are reading it don't really like it. Please comment and vote. Share your opinions. But be kind
Here's a new chapter enjoy. ...................
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I was walking down the dark alley .it was really dark spooky lets say , the dark path,dim light only enough to see what is in front of me ,alone as the dark itself in me .
But I wasn't scared not at all scared rather I felt comfortable to this place, it felt peaceful so quiet ,it felt so much more familiar to me then my own home .
Every single time when I wanted to run away just run away from life I would always end up coming here in the end , every single time I would run run and run and the next I know I would be falling right on my knees gasping for air and crying my heart out to this world ,this world ,the people living in it all of them I would scream , cry ,kick do everything to just ease the pain even a little bit , but then in the end the darkness in this alley would just tell me that "it's gonna be ok , tommorow is gonna be a better day then this , more peaceful ,more happy " but no when tomorrow came I would once again end up here in this dark alley where there only lies me and my silent screams .
Its funny how I feel so much more familiar to dark then love or warmth . All my life ALL MY LIFE TILL NOW there was just this one day where I felt like not killing my self I was happy ,I was actually happy , actually happy to live . How funny that a passing by stranger could ever make feel more save then my own self , then my own home , for the first time in my life I actually appreciated life , I was actually happy to breath ,to walk , to talk , to live . But that didn't last for long .
DEATH You know Death loves to play with ones feeling , it gives him joy ,the joy of seeing one suffer . What a piece of shit that's exactly what I think of him JUST a Piece of Shit !! . ( This story is for some other day )
The alley was so quiet, so peaceful ,the cold wind gently blowing on my face , I was wearing a black hoodie with black warm jeans so no I didn't feel that cold even though it was the end of December but I was now use to this type of cold .
It rather felt comfortable to me rather then irritating. The smell if rotting dead , the sight of red liquid on the floor near the huge dirty dumpster, nothing new just the same old sight . No I wasn't scared, I wasn't scared at all . I knew that was blood but didn't know whose blood was that .
The sight of blood had now become normal to me , it was just red liquid nothing new right? .
Walking down the alley and then like always ending up here . This park , the park where I practically made most of my joyfull childhood memories. The huge tree with an old bench right under , I slowly walked towards it and settled myself on it as comfortable as possible. Looking in front of me the seesaw where me and my sister sat playing with each other .
"Bobocatchme " said the little girl , running away from me .
Brown eyes , black long hair , chubby cheeks with a tint of pink on it and a baby cute voice .
" Bobo!! " Her cute little giggles could be heard in the whole park "BoBo catch me if you can " said the little girl with the brightest smile the could make a person whole day shine as bright as the stars and the moon .
" Bam slow down palzz" said her cute little best friend . Those cute little legs of her moving as fast as she could move them " shlow down bamby" .
My head quickly snapped towards the vibrating phone in my hand I was to catch-up in my happy imaginary world to realize the reality that I live in . I saw the caller id and then picked up the phone
"Lil-li! " . Her voice stuttering giving the hint of sadness , worry . It sounded like if she had just cried . Again .
I kept silent, I knew what she is gonna say next , but no I didn't had the courage to go back home again , I didn't had the courage to go home and see her worried, sad , beaten up face . It hurts , it hurts to see her like that , it hurts even more to know that I can't do anything about it , nothing .... nothing at all like always I am here waiting for the time to go by and for her to stop hurting .
" Lili ,...........baby " and that was it I couldn't hold it in any more . " Come home baby plz " . I could still hear the pain in her voice .it hurt me like crazy , to know that I can't change anything . I can't help em .
" Mo-m--mmy" I sobbed , my tears leaving my eyes and my cries becoming louder and louder with every sob . " I am s-scared" And there we go the strong old me was now gone ,the me that acted like everything is gonna be ok everything is gonna be back to normal one day , clearly knowing that THAT ONE DAY IS NOT TODAY What so ever i should be now used to it but no ,I am not ,
12 years of my life have passed but no luck . I am still not used to the pain , the pain that caused me to be this lili that hates to be happy , thinking that if she becomes happy now soon it will hurt her more in the form of pain , torture and then she won't be able to hold it any more , she'll become weak that she already is . The little lili that still hides in her, scared to come out, scared to build her walls again.
" I now b-baby I know " she too now had started to sob . But she tried to kept quiet as usual trying her best to hide her pain from me and always trying to show me her happy side . That sad smile that always tried to act as if it was happy , as if it had no pain hidden behind it But like always it was just an act just an act to keep us both going like always, just like now . " I am co- mming b-baby tell me whe-- " she said with the same voice which tried it's best to hide the pain behind that pittied smile of hers .
" Be safe, I love you mama" I said and with that I ended the call. Oh life , oh God . I have had enough of this . I hate it . I hate me . I hate them . I hate everything , everyone.
I look ahead of ,like if hit by lightning Memories flashed infront of my eyes like a roller coaster.
The park, this park that holds my childhood, my happy childhood. Those memories. Those giggles, laughter,smile,those pictures. And mostly her..
"I miss you B-"
Please make sure to vote and comment I hope you enjoyed this chapter 😜
