You have to tell him. He'll find out eventually. John was throwing himself into his work again. He's going to hate you . He patches up anyone that passes. Burying his nose into the paperwork he needs to fill. Tell him before Mycroft does. He exercises in all his spare time. He'll never forgive you if you don't tell him first. He pushes himself until he collapses on his bed. Thinking. Mind whirring. How can you say?
He can't sleep. His pacing around the barracks, keeping his roommates awake. They share concerned glances as John mutters to himself. They need to stop this. They know he's driving himself crazy. It's only been a few days and he's getting out of control.
"Right that's it. I can't take this any more than you can." Bill springs out of bed, startling John as he rushes past. He grabs the phone that's sat on top of John's sheets. John stares in disbelief, trying to work out what's gotten into his friend, he casts a glance at Sami. He is met with a confused shrug. They turn over to watch as Bill types away on the phone. The phone is pressed against Bill's ear. His fist resting on his hip as he taps his foot. Bill looks at the other two as he waits with the phone by his ear.
"Hi Sherlock!" John moves forward but falls short when Bill holds his finger up. "How are you? Yeah, that's great. I'm tired. I want to sleep... Well, I called because your boyfriend needs to tell you something and if he carries on pacing, I will shoot him." He holds the phone for John to take and then stalks over to his bed. Burying himself in his blankets as John looks at him in horror.
"John? What's going on? Are you okay?" John presses the phone to his ear.
"I'm fine, you?" He moves to sit on his bed.
"I was until I got a strange call. What do you have to tell me?" John can hear the concern in his voice. Reassure him.
"Yeah, sorry about that. Bill could have just told me I was annoying him." The words were mainly spoken to Bill.
"So?"
"Where are you?"
"At home. John, what's going on?"
"Are you alone?"
"Yes. Seriously, John. Tell me. You're not hurt are you?"
"No, no I'm not hurt. Could you maybe- call someone over? Just so you're not alone. Mycroft? Greg? Mrs H?"
"JOHN! What is happening? Talk to me! Please. You're scaring me."
"Please, I don't want to tell you when you're alone."
"Fine. Hold on," The line is quiet for a few seconds. John begins to catch his breath. "Mycroft is on his way. Can you tell me now?"
"Okay... Don't interrupt. I got some news... I-I have to go on patrol. There was an attack. It is perfectly safe. I'm only there to help if we find anyone. Bill and Sami will be there too, but... well... We know it's no guarantee that nothing will happen. I will be safe. I just wanted to say... in-in case, just in case. Sherlock?" The other end is quiet. The only sound coming from Sherlock's breathing.
"You'll be safe?" His voice is small. Almost inaudible.
"Yes! Yeah. Like I said, Sami and Bill will be there. So will many others. It's just routine patrol. Check the area, get back to base, fix the wounded."
Sherlock's breathing is growing heavy. John can hear it grow irregular through the phone.
"Sherlock? Sherlock, love? I need you to breathe. I'll be alright. Breathe with me." He exaggerates his breathing. Trying to get him to join. Sami and Bill both sit up, moving forward, but unable to help.
"John? What did you tell him? He's panicking." John sighs in relief at the sound of Mycroft's voice.
"I'm going on patrol. I need you to calm his breathing. Is Greg there? Is it just you? Mycroft, what's happening?"
He can hear a shuffling in the background.
"John? It's Greg. Are you alright?"
John saggs back on his bed. He'll be fine.
"I'm being sent on patrol. It will be safe. Although, there's always a chance. I will be fine. They wouldn't send me if I wouldn't be. I knew he wouldn't forgive me if I didn't tell him. Make him a tea."
He listens to the sounds of Mycroft whispering to Sherlock. Sherlock's breathing as it slows. The footsteps as Greg moves about the flat. The kettle being flicked on.
"He's calming down. I think it was just a panic attack. Mycroft has him, cradling him in his arms. I'll pass you over when he's collected. You'll be safe?"
"I will be fine. There is a risk, but there always would be." He hears Greg hum and the calming sounds of the tea making process. They're quiet.
"Greg? Can you keep an eye on him? I won't be able to talk to him regularly. Give him a good case or something?"
"Don't worry, John. He'll be fine. I just don't think he expected it."
He listens to the footsteps. The sound of Mycroft's voice growing louder. A shuffling, a sniffle. John looks at Bill and Sami. They're no longer on high alert. They have climbed back into bed. Attention fixed on John.
"Sorry, John."
"Hey, 'Lock. It's okay. You saw. Remember? You saw how I helped everyone. That's all I'll be doing, just outside," He listens to the breathing on the other end. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. I thought you were hurt. I panicked. Momentary lapse in judgement. I'm okay. Don't you dare get hurt."
They both laugh at that, but John can hear the choke in Sherlock's voice. He can hear the way Mycroft holds him, the way Greg is sitting close. He can picture the whole scene and it hurts.
"I won't. Bill and Sami will never let me do that to you. I love you. Don't worry. We knew this would happen eventually."
They fall silent for a while. Just listening to the sounds around them. John can hear more shuffling followed by footsteps. These ones are lighter. The sound of a door closing softly, springs compressing. Sherlock is in bed. He left them and lay in bed. John closes his eyes and pictures him, lying in bed with the phone pressed against his cheek.
"I miss you. I love you too. I just really miss you. If they don't keep you safe then Lestrade will be solving their murder. Well he'll get stumped and call me in, so I know I won't get caught."
John bursts out laughing. He tries to calm himself. He's actually serious isn't he?
"I'll let them know, but it's not necessary. Promise. Now, get some rest. Do not kick your brother out. Okay?"
"Okay John. I love you, stay safe."
"You too."
The line goes dead.
YOU ARE READING
Soldier without his Detective
FanfictionThis is the second part in the Soldier and his Detective series. It was originally posted on AO3.