Dilemma

1

When I was a kid, I attended a small public all-girls school back in Liverpool. There, I met a boy called George who was extremely charming and funny, and attended the all-boys school nearby. I did not fancy him at the time. He was dating one of my bestfriends, and he never crossed my mind. Yet, once I moved to London, for a better education, I could not forget him and realized I was somehow falling for him. But as I was in another city, over time I gave up on the idea of us.

Anyhow, in 1961, around fall time, when I was in my last year of highschool, I decided to go out to a field by a river with my bestfriends. Many teenagers often gathered around there to meet new people, but most oftenly to look for a hook up/ one night stand. 

I had never kissed a boy before and I was always terrified to embarrass myself while making out, without any prior experience. Some of my friends, Maureen and Carol were experienced, but Marianne and I had never done it before, we were too shy.

While we layed on the grass field and talked for hours, a group of guys around our age approached us. Maureen and Carol inmediately began flirting with them. And who would blame them... they were extremely attractive and charismatic. One boy stood out for me in particular, he looked exactly like my type. Dark brown hair, dark piercing eyes.... he was reserved but talkative. He had this unique aura about him. I had my set on him and my heart was urging me to approach him. Maybe he could be my first kiss.

"So you are in a band?" I asked.

"Yeah, well we are starting it. It isn't official yet," He replied while lightening a cigarette.

"What do you play?" 

"Guess!" He gave me a playfull look. I blushed and looked at the sky to avoid giving myself up right away.

"Guitar?" I looked back at him.

"Ding ding ding!" He chuckled and offered me a cigarette. I took it without hesitation.

"I play the guitar too, you know?" I said while he helped me light my cigarette on. 

"Really? Any favourite artists?" He became intrigued now. I took a smoke...

"I am just beginning, so I don't really know any..."

"Oh, man! I can help you with that! You should meet me someday and I'll show you the best of the best," He seemed really excited and into it. My heart began hardly pounding at just the thought of the both of us meeting together and alone. 

"That would be splendid! I'm really getting into music and I would love for someone to guide me through my new passion," I blabbed out.

He gave me a sincere smiled but it was interrupted by Carol who called for him. He winked at me and ran after Carol. I was really happy, but I did not want him to go away. I decided to take a walk with Marianne and tell her about my new feelings for this boy. She was extremely happy for me and she told me about her new love interest as well, some guy called Bill. Unfortunately, when we returned to the group, it was no longer there. We looked around, and thats when I found Keith making out with Carol...

My heart sunk and I was extremely saddened, but I hid my true emotions to support my friend. I had never felt such jealousy and regret in my life. After they finished, we said our goodbyes and Charlie asked for my number. Though I did not fancy him, I gave it to him. 

I later begged Marianne not to tell a soul about my feelings towards Keith, especially to Carol.