Adopted By Harry Styles

19

(Trigger warning: eating disorders)

I don't know what time I fell back asleep, and I don't know what time I woke up since I didn't have my phone on me. My headache was still there, but it was more bearable now. The ibuprofen must have helped a lot.

I get out of bed and walk to the bathroom. The lighting didn't make me look any better. My makeup was smeared down my face. I looked like a raccoon with my messy eyeliner and dark eyeshadow.

I washed my face and brushed my teeth, and then realized how disgusting I smelled. I smelled like weed and alcohol. I started the shower up. I didn't want to be reminded of last night anymore, and getting this gross smell off me would be the first step in doing that.

Maybe Harry was right about my friends. Maybe they weren't a good influence on me. But I can't give them up. I would rather have 'bad' friends than none at all. I've lived my whole life with no friends, and I most definitely did not want to go back to that.

I change into a pair of black joggers and a gray T-shirt and use a comb to get the knots out of my hair. I already felt better than I did before I got in the shower. There's a knock on the door when I'm about halfway done combing through my hair.

"Madds?" Harry says from the other side.

"Yeah?"

"Come downstairs when you're done. I don't like you cooped up in your room all day," he says.

"Okay," I say. Was that not the point of grounding me? "Harry?"

"Hm?" He hums.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"Four o'clock. You slept for a while."

"Yeah, thank you. I'll be down soon," I say.

"You take your time," he says before I hear him walk downstairs.

I walk downstairs and find Harry in the living room. I take a seat on the other side of the couch that he was sitting on. He turns to me when he notices I was here.

"How're you feeling? Still have that headache?" Harry asks me.

I shake my head. "Not really. It's pretty much gone," I say. I felt almost embarrassed. My hangover was just a reminder of all the stupid things I did last night.

"Good," he says. "Well, there's another ibuprofen for you to take if you think you need it." He points to the table in front of the sofa. He hands me a small plate with some crackers on it. "I think you should eat something, too. You haven't eaten all day."

I decide against the ibuprofen, but take the crackers from Harry. It's wrong for me to think this, but it made me happy when he told me I hadn't eaten today. It wasn't a good thing, it it felt like one. Not eating was a step closer to the perfect body. I promise myself that I'll only eat half of the crackers on the plate, even though I was hungry enough to easily eat all of them.

"I wanted to talk to you, Madds," he says seriously.

I sigh and nod my head. Here we go again. What could he possible want to yell at me for now?

"You seemed anxious that I might leave you, or give you back, earlier today," he says. "That true?" I look up at him and then look back down. I was never good with eye contact. It always made me nervous, like if I looked at someone for too long they'd be able to read my mind. It surprised me that he wasn't mad. Unless, maybe he was and I just didn't know.

"Madds, please talk to me," he says. He moves closer to me and puts his pointer finger under my chin, lifting it up so I had to look at him. "Were you worried about that? Tell me what was going on in your head," he says, his voice quiet, as if he was scared talking any louder would scare me.

"No, I wasn't," I lie, though I know I should have just told the truth. I have never been a good liar. Harry already knew I was nervous about him giving me up, or else he wouldn't have brought it up.

"You don't have to say that," he says. "I won't be mad if you were nervous about that, darling. All I want is the truth."

"I...I was a little nervous," I admit, my voice becoming quieter and quieter with each word I spoke. I look anywhere but his eyes.

Harry nods his head and sighs. "I hate that that thought is in the back of your mind," he says. "I wish I could just make you believe that I'm never letting you go, but I can't."

I nod my head and take a shaky breath in. "B-but I was really stupid...I did really stupid stuff last night," I say. I wouldn't even blame Harry if he left me. What I did was completely disrespectful to him. I would leave me too.

"Believe me, love. I know you did," Harry says, raising his eyebrows at me. "But that doesn't make me not want you in my life anymore. I wouldn't have adopted you if had the mindset that you had to be perfect. Because you're not perfect, no one is. Not even me, even though I know that's hard to believe." He smiles at me and I return it.

"It's not that hard," I joke.

Harry shakes his head. "You wipe that smirk off your face right now," he says, pretending to be angry. I cover my smile with my hands and he shakes his head.

"C'mere," he says and hold his arms open for me. I put the plate of barely eaten crackers back on the table and climb onto his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. He pulls me into him, one hand on my upper back and one on my lower back, and I rest my head in the crook of his neck.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "Sorry about last night."

"That's okay. Thank you for apologizing," he says.