Us Against the World

Nightmares

Toby wakes in a cold sweat, heart slamming against his ribcage. It was a dream.. Only a foolish dream. He glances to his left to see Tommy. He's laid quietly on his side, the moonlight illuminating his collarbones. Toby's head begins to spin- the voice of Schlatt bouncing, echoing into his nerves causing immense pain. "He'll try to stop you Toby, and we both know that you'll listen." He squeezes shut his eyes and clasps his hands against his head attempting to silence it. I can't do that... I can't, I just can't. He repeats the doubt in his mind, wanting to convince himself it's true. Would he really stop for Tommy?

He drops his hands to his lap and hears rustling to his side, slightly jumping at the sudden noise. A groggy voice breaks the abyss that had flooded Toby's head.

"Toby?"

"Y-yes?" He cautiously answers.

"What are you doing? Are you alright," Tommy questions, slightly sitting up in bed. He winces as his bandages lightly scuff against his new injury.

"Yes, I'm alright you should sleep," Toby responds sternly.

Tommy doesn't question him although he can hear an odd change in tone. After a few minutes of stiff silence, Toby hears deeper breaths coming from the other's bed. He takes it as a sign he's fallen back asleep and slowly rises from his place in bed. Walking softly across the hardwood to the door, he stops and looks back at Tommy who was now laid on his back. I could. I know I could. He turns and walks out the door closing it with a huff.

The living room wasn't any more comforting than the shared bedroom. There was a heavy silence highlighting the one sound of a ticking clock. Each step he made felt deeply unwanted by the atmosphere. Suddenly another noise joined the footsteps, startling Toby in his already shaken state. Another pair of steps emerged from the hallway as Toby stood in silence hoping not to be seen.

"Ah, you're awake too." Wilbur stepped quietly with ease as Toby let go of his held breath.

"Yeah I had a- erm... I was getting hot in the room." He quickly decides against making an opening for Wilbur to question him. The two quietly go about their own business- Toby sitting on the leather couch and Wilbur drinking water in the kitchen. Techno must've gone out seeing as he wasn't on the couch as usual.

Toby fidgets with his shirt whilst attempting to sort his thoughts. I could if I wanted to. I know I could. So, why don't I? He drifts through thoughts and possibilities clouded the most by one. You care too much for him. He cringes as he leans back against the cold leather slightly wincing at the sudden temperature change on his bare skin. He hears Wilbur shuffle back to his room and closes his eyes.

---

-TW choking-

The guitar's strings vibrate with every strum and Toby hums along. Tommy sits on his bed tapping his foot to the tune Toby makes with Wilbur's guitar. The tune continues but Toby slowly grows to a pause and he looks up at Tommy. His eyes drift down to the younger's neck, examining it quietly.

"Do you know how long it takes for a human to die from suffocation?" Toby quietly asks, not expecting an answer.

"P-pardon," Tommy replies. He's taken aback by the sudden mood change and his heartbeat skips for a moment out of confusion or fear, he can't decide.

"It takes about two minutes," he continues, unfazed by the other's shaken response. He looks down at the guitar in his hand and pulls on one of the strings until it snaps out of its held place. Tommy watches as Toby removes the string from the guitar and stands, still not looking up from the string. Tommy's breath hitches as the smaller boy walks towards him, stopping directly in front of him and contemplating. In a swift movement, the chord is dropped to the floor and two hands are wrapped around Tommy's throat pushing him back onto the bed. 

His hands grab at the wrists as he chokes for air and repeats pleads for Toby to stop.

"You always doubted me, Tommy. You've said I'm not strong enough, that I'm dumb and incompetent."

Tears brim on the bases of Toby's eyes as he applies more force onto Tommy's neck.

"Do I still seem weak to you, Tommy?" He laughs as hot tears spill down his cheeks showing an overflow of emotions. He repeats the words in a more aggressive tone and Tommy stops grabbing at his wrists to watch the tears pour. His hands slowly rise to meet Toby's face and brush away the drips. 

His expression twists from one of anger to grief and he struggles to keep his grip.

Toby chokes out a sob and releases Tommy's throat before collapsing onto the taller boy's torso. Tommy chokes for air gasping as he holds Toby in his arms. His chest pumps with every cough and Toby feels his tears soaking it. Both their hearts ache, separate reasons yet still together. Tommy regains his steady breathing and looks down at the sobbing boy on top of him. 

"Did you just-"

The sobs grow louder as Toby nods against his chest and Tommy sighs. Why am I so calm about this?  He sits up forcing the other to get off him and waits for his crying to subside before asking simply, "Why?"

"I'm tired."

To put it simply, Toby sounded exhausted. Tommy couldn't help but feel pity for him as looked up at him with swollen eyes also slightly shaken up from his own actions. He understood he went a little too far with Toby sometimes, and felt guilty for the build-up inside Toby.

"I'm sorry," he sighs. "Are you alright?"

"Stop babying me, Tommy!" Toby snaps. "This is what I'm tired of! You should be angry with me, I just tried to kill you for Christ's sake! Why aren't you yelling like you normally do?! Telling me how bad I am at things. I couldn't- I couldn't... even with all this."

Tommy just continues to stay silent allowing Toby to continue. 

"You treat me like I can't do anything for myself- like you have to always take care of me while also belittling me! It's so..." He sighs as words escape him. 

"I told you I wouldn't know what to do if you were the traitor, didn't I?" Toby nods in response waiting for Tommy to go on, but he doesn't. He stands and Toby looks up at him to meet his eyes. They're swimming with muddled emotions and Tommy clearly can't decide which of the many he needs to focus on. He turns and walks out the door leaving Toby to his own accord.