Aftermath

Part 6

"Hey, Taehyun." Taehyun spun around, startled. He was face-to-face with Jisung now. Relief washed over him as he realized his roommate wasn't gone.

"I'm, um, well, I'm leaving today. I wasn't supposed to for a few more weeks but the company wants me back now and the doctors think I'm trustworthy enough now. So, yeah, I guess this is goodbye?" Jisung's eyes began to tear up as the smaller boy wrapped his arms around his waist.

"I never got to tell you, did I? Five months here together and I never told you how I ended up in here, huh?" Jisung frowned at Taehyun's statement.

"No, but that shouldn't matter now. I never pushed to ask again because I wanted you to move on and not have to think of it again," Jisung replied.

"Well, I think I can tell you now."

~

Taehyun was left alone at the dorm with Heuningkai while the other members were at the awards show. The two youngest members weren't old enough to attend due to their curfew, so they sat and watched the live show in their dorm.

Huening kept bouncing up and down each time they saw their other members, but Taehyun could only focus on how the interviewer never brought up him, only Kai, as the missing member and the other three didn't correct him.

They don't care about you. You only bring them down. You are an absolute failure! You're better off dead. You are a sad, mopey, waste of space. When was the last time you were actually happy, you whale?

Suddenly the thoughts were too overwhelming for Taehyun and he got up, feigning needing the bathroom. Kai was too invested in the show to even bother.

Taehyun slammed the door shut and locked it. He grabbed one of Soobin's new blades and settled into the bathtub, just sitting there for a while as hot tears streamed down his cheeks, soaking his sweatshirt. He just sat there, letting his thoughts consume him.

For months he has been letting himself starve and wither away until he was just a shell of his former self, only finding relief late at night when he would steal one of his leader's blades to make fresh wounds. Yeonjun noticed every time the younger boy would leave the bathroom, limping slightly due to the new marks on his waist or thighs.

Tonight, was different, though, Taehyun decided he didn't want to leave this bathroom anymore. He sat there a little longer with his poisonous mind, flittering between not afraid and afraid, when he heard the front door slam open and shut. Cheers emanated from the other side of the door but Taehyun was too far gone to register their happiness. With the blade in his left hand, he sliced up towards his elbow, focusing on the scarlet liquid pouring from the slice.

He did it once more, not noticing the banging on the door.

"Taehyun? Tae! Hyun! Open the door! God, Huening, go find the key! Soobin we gotta knock the door open. Beomgyu, call Namjoon hyung!" The door rattled and shook as the two oldest members threw their body weight into the door. Eventually, the door came crashing down before Kai could find the key.

"Oh, my god! Taehyun, Taehyunnie? Can you hear me?" Taehyun didn't respond, feeling cold as more blood seeped from his wounds, pooling around him into the bathtub.