Aftermath

Part 3

"Taehyun, this will be your room. You will be sharing it with another idol. Don't worry, we've had plenty of you in here before. We're good at keeping it a secret," a smiling woman informed the scared boy.

Taehyun nodded before being ushered into the room. Inside he found a tall boy sitting on the bed staring at the wall.

"Um, hi?" Taehyun tried.

"Oh, hi. Taehyun, yes?" The other boy tried to smile, but Taehyun could see the red rings around his puffy eyes. Taehyun nodded.

"I'll let you two talk it out until it's time for lunch," the woman said, smiling, before backing out of the room.

"So why are you here? Depression, cutting, suicide, eating disorder, voice in your head?" Jisung questioned his new roommate.

"Um," Taehyun began, running a hand through his hair, "yes?" Jisung snorted. He understood.

"Well, except for the voices part. I mean I know I have those voices, the ones everyone with an eating disorder and depression have. I'm not psychotic," Taehyun tried reasoning.

"I understand. So, everyone has their story. What's yours?" Jisung asked. Taehyun looked down, not wanting to relive his past 72 hours.

"I get it, I get it. Well, I can tell you mine. I mean, if you want!" Jisung sputtered out. Taehyun smiled a little, finding the boy quite cute. He knew of NCT's maknae: a shy and quiet boy with killer dance moves. He was surprised with how open and talkative he was being.

"I know, the quiet maknae. The therapist said talking more would help me heal," Jisung spread his arms, "so let's heal. Come join me on the bed." Taehyun discarded his stuff next to the empty bed and gently placed himself onto Jisung's bed, worried the other boy might break if he was too harsh.

"You ready to hear what happened?" Taehyun nodded, folding his legs under him as he prepared for the story that was about to unfold.

~

"Jaemin! You promised!" Renjun wailed at the younger member. Both had fury in their eyes, neither one relenting.

"I'm not the one who got caught with their fingers down their throat again!" Jaemin hurled back.

Jisung sighed. It was a year after the whole fiasco: the two weeks of torture Renjun, Jaemin, and Jisung had put their other members through. Everyone was worried about them and now everything was starting to pick up again with Renjun.

"You promised you wouldn't tell though," Renjun began to tear up. Jaemin's face flashed regret as he ran up to his small boyfriend, taking his face in his hands.

"Huang Renjun, I had to tell someone because I am worried about you. I can't stand to see you in pain, and neither could Jeno. Telling Kun and Taeyong was the only thing we could do."

Jisung pressed his back against the wall more. The two boys didn't know he was spying on them, and he didn't want to reveal himself. He waited to hear more but all he could make out was Renjun's tired sobs.

"I ju-ust wanted to lo-ook li-ike Yangya-ang." Renjun finally sputtered out.

"Huh? You what, baby? You wanted to look like Yangyang? But why? You're so perfect the way you are," Jaemin whispered softly.

"Ji-jisungie said tha-at his le-egs were so-oo much sma-a-aller than mi-ine!" Renjun wailed.

Jisung winced. It was his fault. And it was his fault last year too with Jaemin. His stupid, big mouth: always saying the wrong things. He felt his blood go cold and a weird panic feeling take over his body. He needed to do something to stop their suffering, and the only thing he could think of was to return to his soap box.

Jisung stood up from his spot against the wall and crept his way to the bathroom, where he found his hidden supplies. As much as he wanted to get rid of it last year, he held on to it. He opened the box and took out one of his blades, finding comfort in the coolness of the metal.

He placed the blade on his left wrist and dragged up towards his elbow instead of going from pinky to thumb. The blood began pouring but Jisung felt nothing but a weird sense of euphoria. He heard two sets of feet make their way to the door before the world turned black.