When you came in the air went out

Shit storm

I knew where I was.

I was in the middle of the Dallas Nest. Although it looked very different now; the remains of vampires and companions alike were mingling on the walls and floor all around me. I heard moans and screams so I knew that there were survivors, so that was nice.

I went to look around me but couldn't move my body. I frowned, noting that the small movement hurt, and dipped my eyes down to look.

"Don't."

I blinked, trying to bring the figure in front of me into focus. Godric's face sharpened. I stared into the dark blue eyes and realised he was the one holding me up, gripping my arms. I tried to say something but the movement brought hot liquid into my mouth and I retched. This, in turn, made my body explode with pain. It was so utterly shocking that I didn't scream, I couldn't. The only thing my body could do was take note of the pain in my chest, stomach, legs. Was there anywhere that didn't hurt?

I went to look down at myself and again Godric halted me "Don't look." His voice was so soft against the mayhem around us, but it reverberated in my mind. He was definitely glamouring me. Not that he needed to. I could feel the warm liquid running down my chin and joining the flow running down my chest and legs. I could figure enough out. Still looking into his eyes, I began to cry. I was scared to move for the pain, it was silent, sob free crying.

I was going to die

"Alex!" I knew it was Sookie screaming for me and I could see in my peripheral vision that she stopped a couple of metres away from where Godric was holding me up. "Alex" she sobbed and collapsed onto her knees beside me.

Godric broke eye contact and I felt the release of his glamour. Rather than look around like I had the freedom to though, I found I couldn't keep my eyes open. I tried but all I could do was flutter them for a few seconds. Probably not helped by the fact it felt good to close them. To not see the blood and gore. To not see anything.

"No! You gotta stay awake" Sookie crawled close, pleading with me.

What could I say to her to make her feel OK? Its not like I wanted to die, but If I was going to go I didn't want to linger.

"Don't you dare think that!" she screamed at me and fell back into sobs.

I felt a rush of air and prized my eyes open to see Eric now sharing the space in front of me with Godric. I tried to raise my head but couldn't control it and it lolled back. If Godric wasn't holding me, I knew I'd crumple to the floor. I breathed out through my open mouth and again, brought up a mouthful of blood that ran down my neck. I could feel it cooling and mixing in with the cold blood already saturated in my clothes.

Eric appraised my body and I wondered how much he was getting off on all my blood, or if I was so mangled that... but my whole thought process was cut short as my body went into spasm. The tensing of my muscles felt like I was ripping myself apart and I couldn't remain quiet. It should have been a moan but the blood that was pumping out of me made it a disgusting gurgling croak.

I heard Godric ask Eric something but I missed the end of it. It became obvious when I was deftly lifted off of my feet and into Eric's arms. However decisive the movement, it could never have been painless. This time there was no blood in the way to stop my scream and once that was out of my system, I couldn't stop. With every breath it felt like my chest opened wider and I had something else to scream about.

I don't know if I was glamoured or passed out or if Eric simply ran at vampire speed, but the next thing I knew I was laid out on a bed with Eric looming over me on one side, and Sookie on the other.

My eyes rolled between the two, closing briefly when I choked up. I couldn't breathe properly. I thought it was strange that I had obviously lost so much blood but my chest felt so heavy.

Eric caught my eye and said quietly "Be still", and I was as still as the dead.

That made Sookie whimper.

"Listen to me," he waited until I focused on him before he continued, "I can turn you or I can try and save you. Tell me"

I closed my eyes. So it was so bad that if he tried to heal me there was no guarantee it would work.

"That's right honey," Sookie answered my thought. I looked at her teary eyes, still so blue through the dirt and blood on her face. I hoped it wasn't my blood. She gave a little shake of her head but I didn't believe her.

"Sookie" Eric said and she focused again, her bottom lip trembling.

"You gotta decide. You know I'll hear you. But you gotta decide right now, Alex."

I tried to think about it but it was hard to concentrate. Which was ironic since this would be the most important choice I had ever made. I didn't want to make it. I wanted to know why the fuck I was here in the first place. What had I done to make this happen to me? I felt my tears again and I blinked them away, finding it harder and harder to re-open my eyes.

"Alex," it was Sookie's sharp tone that opened them this time. She was crying too which I didn't like. Why was everyone bloody and hurt and crying? What was the point of any of the blood shed? I wish that none of this had ever happened, that Sookie wasn't asking me this, that she never had to ask anyone this question ever again. Even more so, I didn't want to have to answer. I didn't want to be in this situation. I wanted to be home, in my flat, with my mum popping in to annoy me. I did not want to be here dying.

I did not want to die.

I looked at Eric and made myself think clearly. Sookie said it for me.

"She doesn't want to die, Eric."

He knew without Sookie saying anything, just like I knew he would. He didn't like it, though. In fact, he looked extremely pissed off. He bared his teeth which looked especially white against his blood stained face.

"Eric, she wants to live so fucking save her already!"

He growled at her but never took his eyes off me. I saw him bite into his wrist and I closed my eyes and prayed to whatever God was out there that he could save me.