note: i hate myself. my friend gave me the title ok bye
apple ihome mouse returned to her home and turned on the tv.
in typical anime style fashion her parents were out of the country so she was alone, and the news came on.
very quickly she got concerned because on the news there were seven murder reports and all of them were obviously because of apple ihome mouse!!!11!!1!
"fuck hope they don't find out it's me" ihome mouse said. just then she got a call on her phone "hello?"
"I know you killed my cousin josuke's virginity, and now I want vengeance. Meet me behind the school tomorrow or I'm telling the police you killed him"
apple ihome mouse dramatically gasped "ok but do I need to bring anything?..?."
the voice sighed "no I will have everything covered, just show up or face the consequences"
a click noise told apple ihome mouse that the call was cut off. she sat her phone down and went to her room to get ready for bed.
—the next day—
apple ihome mouse arrived to school and went through her normal classes. afterwards, she snuck out the back and arrived to where the mystery voice had told her to go. "where-where are they? they told me to come here-"
just then, someone stepped around the corner, and who should it be but..........
diavolo???
"yes it's me diavolo. I'm conveniently not in a death loop unless you want to say that this is a death loop in which case you're perfectly correct. Anyways so I have a deal for you, apple ihome mouse."
apple ihome mouse gasped. "Diavolo? but I thought I killed you!"
Diavolo clicked his tongue. "nah, that must have been doppio. dumb motherfucker got himself killed I see"
apple ihome mouse say her hands on her hips. "Not the doppio slander!"
diavolo clapped his hands together to snap her out of her rant "ok you dumb bitch time for a deal. you follow a specific set of rules and kill this person, and I'll let you off the hook and I won't tell the police you killed my cousin."
apple ihome mouse stood and thought about it for a moment. she had killed people before but never to conceal the fact that she'd killed someone.
"ok, I'll do it!"
Apple ihome mouse and diavolo shook hands, and diavolo laughed. "I thought you would say that."
——-
this started out as a joke and I'm only now realizing this is getting actual effort put into it god damnit
