After All These Years

Lies Sink Ships All the Damn Time

          "Oh wow, what's all this?" Ella asks when seeing Sawyer cleaned up wearing one of his nicer casual outfits.

          She plops herself down on his bed and feels his fluffy comforter. "What're you doing here?" Seeing her made the guilt rush forward. His attempt to keep his orbs off of her was a failed one.

          He always had a hard time not looking at her though, and frequently found himself entranced by her internal beauty that spewed out and made her radiate like the moon in the darkness. She created light for others based off who she is. These days, it wouldn't always appear like she was his moon, and he was the stars that followed her closely to shine with her, it would come off like she held a hard exterior, but he couldn't blame her for her actions. He had caused them after all.

          His dark chocolate blinkers watched her for a moment longer before he had to force himself to tear them away and turn his back on her.

          "I'm doing what you do, invading your space. Although, it has less of an affect because I was let in rather than coming in on my own. You're all dressed up though," she notes again since he didn't acknowledge it the first go around. "What's that all about?"

          He inhales sharply, "I have a date of sorts."

          What, she thinks. "That poor girl," he mimics her. "Who is it this time?"

          He doesn't meet her eyes, he can't. "No one,"

          "You know you don't have to lie to me."

          "Who said I was lying?"

          Ella walks up to him with her hands on her hips. "You said it was no one but you can't go on a date with no one. So, who is it?" Usually, he had no problem telling her his next target. His silence concerned her more than she expected it to.

          "It's no one of consequence," he lies through his teeth. She was someone of consequence, she was someone who could tear everything apart, if his guilt didn't do it first, and he was letting it. Sawyer was well aware who he was about to go see would make Ella majorly unhappy and could make her hate him for good. He didn't know why he thought it'd be a good idea but before he took a minute to actually think about it, he had already impulsively asked her best friend out whether his words were intentional or not. At this point, he wasn't sure it would matter. It wouldn't to Ella. He didn't think she was actually going to say yes with what she had said to him about him not being her type.

          Sawyer tried to reason what he'd done by continuously telling himself it wasn't a real date and the two were only hanging out because that way it would make him feel like he wasn't about to hurt his Miss Peters. The one person he never wanted to bring pain and yet it seemed that was all he could do these days.

          "I know you're being dishonest with me," her tone was low and nervous.

          "You think so, do you."

          "Sawyer," she didn't understand why all of a sudden, he decided to be so harsh with her when just yesterday he was quite literally falling to his knees for her.

          "Ella, please just stop. I can't have this conversation with you right now." His mind was running in multiple directions in attempt to figure out what he was going to do or say to her if she found out. She'd kill him, he knew that much. That was the one thing he could safely say was set in stone and that's what he struggled to find a solution to avoid. Sawyer's knot in his stomach told him he was making a mistake, betraying his oldest friend. It was too late now, he thought.