A Sight For Sore Eyes [HYUNLIX]

CHAPTER 6

[6] 𝐖𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐈 𝐖𝐞𝐫𝐞

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     Heavy steps echoed through the small hallway. A sad melody of constant sobbing and the small drops of water on the carpet came together under the dim light to create the melancholic scenery of vanishing man, who only wished to go back in time and slapped himself for being such a naïve man and listened to the words of a man who knew nothing even when he called himself a prophet of the truth. He had not payed attention to his surroundings at all, so as soon as he felt his forehead hit against a hard wooden door rather harshly, his mourning was interrupted by the sudden realization he had ran all the way from the company back at their dorms. Hyunjin stare blankly at the door, questioning if he should simply lock himself and the room and disappear from the whole world, or continue his death march until his legs could no longer stan his weight and gave up on him, eventually leading him to die somewhere out there where no one would find him. Call him dramatic, but his mind and heart were a complete mess with false sense of hopes that were build up just to be demolished once he felt sure enough.

He stared at the sign outside his door, which was decorated by many stickers of their own albums and small notes he had once exchanged with the other members during one of their many burn outs as artist. Between the many yellow and orange squares, he ghosted his fingers over the same one he always touched whenever he felt like giving up, Felix’s note.

The note was written on blue ink, already contrasting with the rest of the notes which were written on black. Hyunjin could not help but sobbed out as he reread the message the younger had placed on the note.

You are amazing and a great inspiration. Please do not listen to others who just want to tear you
down, because you are way better than all of them…I love you.

The message never failed to sent butterflies all over Hyunjin’s stomach…but now it just made his sobs increase alongside the pain on his heart. How could Felix say those words so freely? Was love just a simple way to say friendship to Felix? Because that message was the starting factor Hyunjin had held onto to feel like perhaps maybe, just maybe his love would be reciprocated one day…how foolish he was.

His sadness soon turned into anger as he held the note between his freezing fingers, the edges ripping by the strength of Hyunjin’s fingers. Blinded by the rage, Hyunjin slammed his door opened as he threw the paper somewhere on the room, a guilty feeling still present on his head
for doing such but he was quick to push it away as the memories of what he had witnessed came back to him.

“I HATE YOU!” Hyunjin yelled as the tears started dropping faster than they had before as he walked around the small space, his body heating up with the tension as he yelled blasphemies out loud, venting such negative feelings. “DUMBASS STUPID BITCH” He called himself, grabbing a vase Jisung had placed on his room once, saying he needed more lively things on his room. Once he felt the cold material between his fingers, he did not think twice before throwing it at the wall, tainting the cold gray walls a hue darker by the water. He panted slightly as he observed the mess he had created at the corner of his room. However, instead of feeling guilty, he felt almost like a small weight was lifted out of his shoulders, almost as if destroying what he once loved became his new therapy. He observed as the dirt dripped from the wall, slowly making its way to the floor as the water reached the sticky note Felix had placed, completely ruining the ink as it spread all over the paper, the message no longer readable.

Hyunjin felt anger boiled inside him once more, having just ruined the only thing that was able to calm him down on his lonely nights was completely ruined. No longer thinking straight, he grabbed a small Bluetooth speaker and threw it at the same wall, shattering the expensive material in a matter of seconds…but did Hyunjin care? Not at all, he just kept throwing all the things that laid on his nightstand table.