A Dragon's Love (Young Justice)

Hurting

There's a silence for only a moment. "M'gann told me... When they were inside the mothership, Emma behaved in a way none of them had ever seen. She told me Emma broke down in tears. She began beating the wall. None of us have ever seen her cry, at least not in the way she had then." I sit up, listening in more closely. "It's honestly terrifying, to think that something can actually break someone who's always so strong. What could have been the reason that broke her down to tears and behave in such a way? She has yet to speak a word to me. She must be so broken right now..."

"Why aren't you talking to her, instead of me right now? She needs your help more than anyone." He tells her. "Emma has yet to leave her room today. Once we're done here, I'll be speaking with her when I see her." Canary answers. "Please tell her I hope she's okay." He requests.

Despite everything that happened... He's... Worried about me? Why? My vision turns blurry once more. Why would he be worried about the person that got him killed?

I can no longer handle listening to their conversation. I stand up, running past the door. Phyrix yips and scampers after me. I don't care if they see me, I can't listen to this anymore. I can't listen to his voice, and feel the agony and depression emitting from his aura. The pain when he talks about me. It just hurts too much.

"Emma!" Someone yells from the doorway. Footsteps follow me all the way back to my room. I slam and lock the door, just before the person hits it. They slam into it and I hear them fall to the ground, sitting up. Then another one jogs up to the door with the first person. "Emma?" Canary calls from behind the door. "Go away." I tell them through the door. "Emma, please. May we come in?" She asks. I think about it. Am I ready to face Kaldur yet?

I unlock my door, opening it only by a crack. "Just Canary for now... Please." I say. It's silent as I walk to my bed. Then, there's a whisper. "Wait out here." Canary tells him, before walking into my room. She sits down in a chair I keep in the corner. She seems shocked at the sight of my room. I wouldn't blame her.

"What is it, Canary?" I ask, getting straight to the point. "I still have to talk to you about your experience in the... exercise." She explains softly. I sit still, silent, staring at my gloved hands. "Emma, how are you feeling?" She asks. "I see you've changed your mask." I don't say anything.

She leans forward in her seat. "I see. Emma. I know it's hard for you to open up to people, especially a League Member like me. But it's not a sign of weakness to show how you feel, to talk about it when you obviously need help coping." "Coping with what? If it's that obvious that I need help, then please tell me because I'm all ears." I state, my voice showing my anger, growing.

"So then I take it you simply don't want to confront your extreme behavior after Kaldur's death." She states, matter-of-factly. I stand up, my voice low in a growl, "What's there to confront besides the obvious fact it's my fault that he died?!" I move over to my bookshelf and start placing books upon it from the floor. "Emma, it's not your fault." Canary tries to comfort me.

"Yes it is." I argue. I sigh, turning to look at her. "Look, I've seen many things in my lifetime. I've lost plenty of people I cared for. But this? I'm hurting, okay? I admit it. I let my emotions get the best of me. I don't think I can trust myself to be sensible. I lost control over myself." "Emma. You're a dragon, which means you're going to be passionate about things. It's in your nature. Hiding your emotions behind a mask won't make you feel any better. It won't make your guilt fade away. You haven't even said one word to Kaldur since the incident. He's told me about it, and it bothers him." She tells me. I look down at the ground, filled with guilt and sadness.

"I can't... I can't look at Kaldur." I finally admit. "Every time I do... I wanna cry all over again. My mother would be so ashamed of me and my selfish actions." I begin pacing.

"I've been asking myself 'Why?' Why did I behave that way? Why didn't I put his safety before my own? My impulse controlled my actions when they shouldn't have. He should be angry with me! He should be furious! So why isn't he?! It was my reckless actions that got him killed!" My voice grows into a yell as I finish, landing another punch into the wall. The last picture frame finally falls and shatters on the floor. I hiss as I feel the cuts open back up again. I stumble and fall back against the wall, holding my hand.

"Emma!" Canary shrieks as she kneels next to me, worried. But she doesn't touch me, her eyes staring at the blood that's starting to seep through my glove. It's silent for a moment.

"Kaldur's worried about you, Emma." She speaks lowly, looking into my eyes. "You might blame yourself for what happened, but he doesn't. All he wants is for you to be ok. He cares for you."

"I kissed him." I admit, looking away. "What?" She asks. "I kissed him. I kissed Kaldur." I repeat. "We were in the middle of an apocalypse, and I kissed him. Gods! What is wrong with me?! Why did I kiss him?!" I reprimand myself once more. "I threw him off guard, I put him in a daze. It was all my fault and I'm the one who should have stayed behind and been disintegrated, not him!"

"Emma... You love him, don't you?" Canary pauses, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. I flinch, but remain silent. "Listen, I don't have any easy answers, but I do know that it'll get better. You've opened up so much to the team... I think you should talk to Kaldur, tell him, tell him how you feel." She advises me. I shake my head. "After what I did? No. I can't." I argue. "It'll help you feel better." She tells me, leaning closer, squeezing my shoulder in comfort. "Talk to him. He's just outside your door." I look down, thinking.