Betting is bad for your Heart.

Chapter 15- Declan

The sun was setting while I was sitting on my bed looking out my window, watching the shed. I had just left from yelling at Silas and that ass that was supposed to be my friend Logan. I was thinking about what has happened since I left the hospital. The day Silas came in to see me I couldn't look at him. I couldn't have him see me like that. It hurt too much. He made me that way. Not listening to me, not understanding what was going on. Ignoring me for a week. Now that I was sick he wanted to cry over me, I couldn't stand it.

While I was laying there healing Damon came to visit me. He had told me he had been staying home since the incident. He said he couldn't look at me knowing we were forced to make out like that and that he let it get so far. He told me he felt ashamed because he had enjoyed it and he shouldn't have. He couldn't stop thinking about me and didn't want to be anywhere around me because of the guilt.

I told him I understood. I told him I was thinking of Silas the whole time and felt ashamed about it. That it felt great and the moment before it ended his face shot through the images of Silas which is why I threw up. I felt so ashamed that I could do that to Silas. Feel something for someone else when i shouldn't have. Let myself think of someone else.

Damon came by the hospital everyday after that. We got through the pain of the situation together. I still thought of Silas a little bit but Damon was getting more and more of my thoughts. One day when he was sitting beside me he leaned over and kissed me, surprising me but I kissed him back. I wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him closer to the bed so I could have a better angle to his lips. It shot a shock through me. For a moment Silas' face flashed but I pushed it to the back of my mind and just enjoyed the moment with Damon. He slowly pulled away from me with a worried look on his face.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." He said sitting back in his seat. I reached out and grabbed his hand.

"It's alright. I liked it." He smiled at me and me at him.

We ended up falling in love easily enough. Being friends for so many years and knowing so much about each other. I already forgave him for everything knowing the situation he was in. It felt right, it felt like I was finally being pulled out of my darkness. Then it was time to go home, where Silas was. I suddenly felt ashamed. I knew I couldn't see him for fear of hurting Damon. So my parents made sure he wasn't around me when I went home. They made sure I knew whenever he was out of his room still in the house. When he left for school and when he was back. Then his aunt called and I thought my problem would be solved. that he would be far away from me and I wouldn't have to worry about old feelings coming back to damage my new relationship.

He refused to go and my parents agreed to have him stay. I couldn't even look at him when he was yelling at me. Telling me he loved me, making that part of my heart open up again and rage against these feelings for Damon. I had to tell him to move on, I tried but he yelled at me saying he heard my parents and I. I couldn't even tell him who I was without shame. Knowing Damon was the one that broke his trust in me when he saw the video.

I was ashamed and hurt and so confused. My stomach started to hurt again so I went to Damon. He helped for a little while. Then Silas saw us together in school and the look on his face hurt me more than I thought it would. I tried to go after him but Damon stopped me, told me he would be alright. I thought he would be. That day we met Logan he just arrived as a transfer, lucky shit only had one day of school before break.

The three of us hung out everyday in my room. I knew Silas was going out everyday and wouldn't see us. Then one day they wanted to go play soccer in the park so we went. i had no idea Silas was there. I kicked the ball a little hard and Logan went to get it. When I looked over he was talking to someone and I noticed it was Silas. Jealous rage shot through me seeing him smiling at someone else. Logan came over and started to say something.